Do you think shy people are annoying to date?

I'm just curious since anyone who is shy doesn't seem like they would say what they truly want. Even more if you can't figure out how they truly feel about you.

What's your experience with dating someone who was shy?

  • It can be
    37% (10)33% (11)35% (21)Vote
  • Not really
    30% (8)30% (10)30% (18)Vote
  • I hate playing the guessing game with them
    15% (4)18% (6)17% (10)Vote
  • They actually say what they truly feel.
    18% (5)19% (6)18% (11)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I dated a girl who was shy. I never knew what was going on with her, at all. Mostly, our dating consisted of just hanging out smoking weed with friends and lying in bed watching t. v. That was pretty nice, but our conversations were, well, fairly nonexistent. She was very, very quiet. Didn't extrapolate on anything. If I asked her a question she would respond 'yes' 'no' 'sure', stuff like that. She was shy most of the time. Her face was slack most of the time. Very little expression of emotion, whatsoever. Not happiness, not sadness, not anger, not frustration, not anything. But then we broke up, and a couple months later we were talking on FB, and she said "The only time I remember being happy was with you." I was shocked, because she didn't talk to me a lot. Not deeply.

    So yeah. I think I agree with your statement. They don't say what they truly feel, and it is playing a guessing game. I had no idea she cared about me like that. If I would have, I might not have broken up with her.

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    • That seems so weird. How does one even end up in a relationship with someone who communicates like that to begin with? I don't understand

    • Just like started hanging out a lot to smoke weed together and there was mutual attraction?

    • @frozenhorizon Yeah, pretty much. She was gorgeous. We were smoking weed in the creek one day, I had my average and annoying girlfriend with me that all my friends hated; and, I couldn't stop staring at her. I don't even remember how it proceeded, though... Of course, I was always high back then, so naturally my memory is a bit fucked up. Either I directly asked her out and she said yes, or we kissed first. Not sure. She must have been somewhat attracted to me since we dated for something like a year. But she was waaaaay out of my league, in my opinion.

      It wasn't that we didn't communicate *at all*. We joked, we talked, we hung out all the time. It's just overall she was very shy and reserved. She seemed to just go with the flow. She tended to just follow the rest of us and do whatever we were doing. Though she did ask me to come to her house a lot. Someone like that will probably say yes to anyone just to avoid being alone.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I won't lie, it's not only annoying but one of my biggest turn offs. I can't stand someone who won't show me there feelings and expects me to lead 100% of the time. It turns into a mommy-and-child experience and it tends to chase me off.

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What Guys Said 16

  • I hate the guessing game, I want to know with CERTAINTY how she feels and where I stand with her.

    I don't tolerate ambiguity well in ANYTHING. I want people to explicitly say how they feel with their words so they can be held accountable, instead of dwelling around in a cloud of nonsensical vagueness. #WordIsBond #SayIt

    This is my biggest issue in dating. Most people are AFRAID to directly say what they feel when it comes to all stages of courtship, because they FEAR the bond of their words.

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    • Pretty sure most FEAR rejection more than anything haha
      So more the lack thereof when it comes to bondage.

  • I'm a fairly shy person, and so I know, just from how I am, how frustrating it is to guess how someone feels.
    The way I deal with it is I'm blunt. I am no less worried or scared or terrified when I say something, but I say it anyways, because if I don't, how is anyone else supposed to know? And I guess, fairly or not, I kind of expect the same thing if I were dating someone who was why. Guessing games really aren't fun.

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  • If they dont say much then yes

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  • I'm shy but it doesn't mean I don't say what I think or nothing at all. The problem is when approaching people and get the thing going... but once you talk, the ice is broken and not much of a problem anymore. that's at least for me

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  • I'm shy... Looks like that means I'd be rather annoying to some girls, which makes it worse because I don't know if a girl would be before trying to get together... 😥

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  • I'm a shy type...
    But i consider myself more or less interesting xD and not annoying :D

    Yeah, they are great lover's...

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  • You have 2 options:

    Option 1 - You ignore my shyness and make little conversations about different things

    Option 2 - We have a intellectual conversation about technology, physics, society, politics, world order, future and unicorns

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  • Coming from a guy who has been on the shy AND outgoing side, they can be, but they also aren't. While I may not be so shy, I'm more quiet if anything, basically an introvert. So dating a louder, energetic woman would counter balance my quietness, but I can relate to shy girls more because... I know how it feels. Unless the shy girl is so shy she doesn't speak or show feelings, I'd definetly take the shy girl.

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    • Being hyper tends to overwhelm a lot of people. :( Meh, not much I can do about it since I'm just that naturally hyper but I have my shy moments. Though it's normally around other family members.

    • It overwhelms me a lot and I have trouble responding to it. My friends are more outgoing and extroverted than me, they keep trying to get me to go to parties and clubs, and get upset when I refuse. They don't get me, they can't fully comprehend that I don't need to be hanging out all night to have fun. After a few hours I'm socially burnt out and have to retreat to my shell.

  • yes it can be, im a shy introvert and i suck when i meet anyone in person that i haven't spent much time with.

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  • only if they never come out of their shyness. Most shy people become less shy as they get to know the other person better

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  • Most shy people will say what they want once they've gotten to know someone.

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  • Shy girls tend to be annoying to deal with.

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  • Being extremely extroverted, I actually tend to see introverted chicks more :P

    Something something opposites attract I guess. Shy chicks tend to be more of a challenge.

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  • Maybe people just need more patient with shy people

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  • Yes, people should be friendly.

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  • not an option, makes me puke harggggg

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What Girls Said 8

  • I am shy so if I date someone shy, it usually doesn't go well. I don't think guys mind shy girls that much but like everyone has said, it is to an extent. If someone never says anything and is really quiet that can be difficult. I am shy but I can still talk, I don't initiate many conversations but I am not completely mute. What I don't like about it, is that I am worried it can come across as lack of interest. Yesterday I saw a guy I was seeing and wondered if I should have at least given him a hug or something, but I didn't. So, now I hope he doesn't feel it is lack of interest, when it is just shyness. That is what is annoying about it.

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  • To be a bit shy and nervous on a first date is perfectly normal because it could be someone your meeting for the first time. To a certain extent it can become annoying when they are constantly shy and don't say much. I love to talk but I prefer it if I'm not left to do all of the talking and the conversations flow easily. It wouldn't be much fun if you were marooned oa a desert island with someone that didn't talk to you. It would be like Tom Hanks in castaway with Wilson the volleyball. You would go insane. He did really miss that ball when it got swept away in the tidal waves. Lmfao.

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  • Possibly. But I feel like shy people (because I am one) open up more once they're comfortable. I know I do.

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  • They are a hard nut to crack, and can be boring after a while, even irritating when you're the one making all the effort and making all the moves.

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  • yeah it'd be pretty hard getting to know a shy person but i am GIFTED at making shy people open up which is why i am a teacher in the first place. i used to be shy, believe it or not :P so i understand what to say in order to make them comfy.

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    • i personally prefer dominant guys who are very confident in themselves, those kinda guys aren't usually shy

  • i think it could be frustrating trying to get to know someone who doesn't feel comfortable sharing

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  • Too lazy to make a move and have no social skills.

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  • If the girl is attractive to the guy he will make it work

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    • can't really make it work when it feels like it's a one sided relationship, due to the other not opening up at all. Plus it should be the chicks job to in making things be more smooth in the relationship too.

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