When I hear about a girl, who likes/wants/is have casual sex... I feel very insecure and hurt inside... ( I don't know if insecure is the correct feeling, but it's the closest way I can describe it) (But for some reason, if she has a boyfriend I don't care, non-casual)
I have nothing against the girl seeking sex, but for some reason I feel hurt and insecure...
This might because I am a virgin, I am jealous how easy it is for women to get sex, and also my crush has slept with other guys and it hurts thinking of her with other guys...
I just don't want to feel this way,
I was listening to a story of a girl who was cheated on, and how she hooked up with "a lot!" of guys to fill the void.
Just something about the "A lot" made me feel very insecure. This hot girl may have hooked up with 3?5?10? guys? What is a lot in a week?
And I am not even at one in my 24 years on this earth :-(
I am not sure what the solution is, it's not easy for myself to get a girlfriend or sex, all I hear about is sex...
I need to stop feeling this way, can you help with your opinions?
I think this is due to how society sees virgin men. Apparently, a man shouldn't be a virgin, especially when he's 24. Society laughs at men like that. Girls don't like virgin men, unless these girls are religious. So knowing that society doesn't like you because you're a virgin, is something that subconsciously is making you feel bad. That's why you feel insecure when you hear about girls having casual sex, because you automatically think that since they're not virgins, they won't want you, because you ARE a virgin. So that "insecure" feeling is also a feeling of "undesirability".
The thing is nowadays with the younger generation is that a lot of people don't think people want relationships these days so they resort to FWB/Casual relationships rather than bf/gf relationships, or they get afraid of commitment and getting hurt because like I said serious relationships aren't as common in this generation sadly.
I don't know what is meant by "a lot" of guys, it can be different for everyone, could be 3, could be 10, everyone has a different perspective of "a lot". I don't know any girl who hooks up with different guys every week at all though, even different guys every month is pretty uncommon among the people in my age that I know. Doesn't matter anyhow, their body, their business.
If you're insecure about not having had sex yet at 24, seriously don't be. Not having had sex isn't as big of a deal as people make it out to be at all. You're worrying about something completely pointless, and there's hell of a lot of people out there your age who hasn't lost it yet either.
I think you need to realise that women or men having sex with other people, actually doesn't affect you in any way. I know it can feel like it does, especially if you place some kind of value on how little people you like have had sex but it's their body. The only body you need to care about is yours.
I think those insecurities that you have inside you are caused by the media, that you have to have a perfect body, you have to have a six-pack in order to attract girls, if you gained a few pounds, it's all over for you, you need to use products to further groom yourself to the other genders likening.
Just like you feel under pressure about those things, the same way the females feel under pressure as well, they think they need to look like a model in order to get a guy of their dreams, media has set standards for them, what a MAN these days would be.
Sadly many people have been caught into it and they only make themselves miserable by placing over the top expectations from others, they are not satisfied with what they have, they are always looking for more, once everyone puts the material things aside and embrace themselves for who we are, thats when we would be content with ourselves and the content we feel with ourselves, the more our partner would feel safe & secure with us.
Either hold out for a girl like you who hasn't had casual sex or entertain the idea of becoming like them and having casual sex to "catch up" to the women in your dating pool. If you're like me I think part of it is you dislike the idea of a girl being your first and only when you're one of many men she has hooked up with.
Here's a controversial opinion in relation to the rest of GAG. Lots of us guys hear about players, etc etc so the idea of casual sex seems so, what's the word. Undesirable? Nefarious? ya, let's go with nefarious! Like the bad guy using the girl for his evil, lustful desires.
That's not how it works in the real world always... many girls WANT to be fucked lol. Many girls WANT casual sex along with, or even before a relationship. Many girls WANT to be dominated. Nothing wrong with that.