I met this guy on social media a week and a half ago. he asked me out last week and we agreed on this coming weekend.. it's a lunch date, and walking and talking. I'm 21, he's 27, he just moved here from another country.
I'm just getting really nervous because he's "seemingly" my exact type.. my own tailor made dude. However, I know because I am an attractive female, (and I have learned the hard way; heartbroken and used) that many guys, especially on social media, aren't looking for much serious and manipulate to the extreme.
I've been trying to play it super cool... Responding with shorter messages, picking and choosing to respond to some and not others, and just acting as if I am busy bc it seems to make guys think about you more... I'm trying to treat him like the guys I'm not into because they always seem to want me more. Is this foolish? Or good? I'm always nice and friendly to him, but I never talk to him first, I do keep the convo going but I respond late at times, etc.
I just really don't want to be hurt again anytime soon and I want to play this hand correctly (given I like him). Am I doing the right thing? On the date, any pointers for me?
Most Helpful Guy
No, you are most likely not doing the right thing.
It 'can' work, in certain situations. If a guy is feeling an infatuation with you, that kind of behavior can strengthen the infatuation, because it's just giving them enough to keep the fix going.
However, if the guy isn't actually infatuated with you, but just likes you, it can make him think you're not that interested, and he could start looking around at other options while continuing to see if you are going to be worth putting time into.
And if the guy actively dislikes those kinds of games, it can be a near-instant dealbreaker.
So it works, but only in very specific situations. And most of those guys would respond just fine if you weren't playing hard to get as well.
You are playing a game, and that game has risks.1
Most Helpful Girl
Mind game bullshit doesn't work on anybody with a brain. It might work in the beginning but it's going to create one shit of a relationship because you rely on mind-trick tactics instead of just being an appealing person, which is going to create issues in your relationship later.0