I met this guy on social media a week and a half ago. he asked me out last week and we agreed on this coming weekend.. it's a lunch date, and walking and talking. I'm 21, he's 27, he just moved here from another country. I'm just getting really nervous because he's "seemingly" my exact type.. my own tailor made dude. However, I know because I am an attractive female, (and I have learned the hard way; heartbroken and used) that many guys, especially on social media, aren't looking for much serious and manipulate to the extreme. I've been trying to play it super cool... Responding with shorter messages, picking and choosing to respond to some and not others, and just acting as if I am busy bc it seems to make guys think about you more... I'm trying to treat him like the guys I'm not into because they always seem to want me more. Is this foolish? Or good? I'm always nice and friendly to him, but I never talk to him first, I do keep the convo going but I respond late at times, etc. I just really don't want to be hurt again anytime soon and I want to play this hand correctly (given I like him). Am I doing the right thing? On the date, any pointers for me?
No, you are most likely not doing the right thing.
It 'can' work, in certain situations. If a guy is feeling an infatuation with you, that kind of behavior can strengthen the infatuation, because it's just giving them enough to keep the fix going.
However, if the guy isn't actually infatuated with you, but just likes you, it can make him think you're not that interested, and he could start looking around at other options while continuing to see if you are going to be worth putting time into.
And if the guy actively dislikes those kinds of games, it can be a near-instant dealbreaker.
So it works, but only in very specific situations. And most of those guys would respond just fine if you weren't playing hard to get as well.
Mind game bullshit doesn't work on anybody with a brain. It might work in the beginning but it's going to create one shit of a relationship because you rely on mind-trick tactics instead of just being an appealing person, which is going to create issues in your relationship later.
Basically either you like me and you show interest, or you don't. If you start playing hard to get I will simply assume you aren't that into me and I will forget you and move on. Playing hard to get is a gamble. I understand you want to be careful and not jump in too hard too soon, but it can backfire pretty quickly. I think the better way is reciprocate the interest, but tell him you want to take it slow. Nothing wrong with that.
Some gues mistake "playing hard to get" for genuine disinterest.
Also it inly works if he believes you are genuinely and consistently hard to get. If a guy thinks you're the type to send nudes easily and have sex right away with other guys and that you're only hard to get for him, it probably won't make him want you more.
Well I've had girls do that to me, didn't last long cause i dont play games if i smell a game its over, nice push over guys will follow you aroud , good boyfriend material guys who have confidence and self estee, will lose interest quickly, we are not girls and we are not interested in games ro wasting time, unless you have something to offer most guys will gone, if he likes you and you like him then why play games in the first place?
You say all guys are the same on dating sites... well dont go on those sites then if you have been unlucky so far.
All in all games dont work on confident guys, mainly cause if i can get lots of girls i can afford to lose few chicks who want to create drama.
No if you expect him to be into real then how can you be putting all this immature child 'wait to text crap' honesty is the key in real things. Lay that down to him, say directly you want something real and won't tolerate being played. If he is legit he won't be mad I fact he'll agree and be happy and inspired to talk more. If he isn't a legit guy he'll get mad and you'll seen him out.
Please don't play hard to get. It won't weed out the bad guys, it will weed out pretty much all the guys except really, really bad or desperate guys.
To figure out his intentions you have to engage him in deep conversation. Also stop believing guys have this box of magical manipulative tricks: only dumb/naive girls fall for those, you should use common sense and healthy skepticism to see if he's BSing you.