FEMALES: do you prefer a man that can defend you? would you be willing to date one you don't think can? what makes a man seem protective?

a lot of women/girls on here claim to want much taller guys because they make them feel safe (some only claim they're more attractive, but feeling safer with them comes up alot), I'm curious other than height what makes you feel like a man is able to protect you? does he have to be muscular? does something about a man's personality make him seem like he could defend you better? what about aan exactly makes him seem protective to you?

  • yes, he must seem strong/able to defend me against other men
    65% (48)30% (16)50% (64)Vote
  • no, I'm ok with a man who seems weak
    32% (24)13% (7)24% (31)Vote
  • I'm a lesbian
    3% (2)57% (30)26% (32)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't need him to protect me. I just want to know that he would want to, I'd do the same for him. Height / muscles has nothing to do with it in my opinion.

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What Guys Said 16

  • Ehh who cares if they like it or not, if she's in danger or requires protection that's just what's going to happen, it's the decent thing to do to any person whether they be male or female, friend, partner or stranger.

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    • I'm just curious. so many females giving the whole "he looks like he can protect me better" bs about tall guys on other questions got me thinking

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    • no. really muscular men.

    • Depends on were you live I guess all the muscular guys I know around here are pretty decent guys.

  • The problem is real world fights where someone is trying to kill you is not a rocky balboa fight where the toughest dude wins. They will use guns and knives and they will attack you when your back is turned. The problem so man women AND men have is that they think being tall and strong will make a huge difference. It really won't. And so it brings a false sense of security. So many guys become arrogant and incompetent because of it an act more reckless because they think they can handle the danger and thus they actually endanger the girl they're with. They may end up antagonizing the wrong dude one day and thus get himself and the girl killed. The girl would have been safer had she been alone in such situations. But that doesn't discredit the biological logic of bigger=safer. Since that is absolutely the case in virtually all other animals. So it makes sense biologically but in the modern world it's really not applicable for humans anymore unless you find yourself in the unlikely movie scenario where the weapon slides across the room and it becomes a fight of fists. Which again really only happens in the movies.

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    • Sorry for typos my keyboard isn't registering some keys.

    • Dude you are so right. Women love a tough guy but that comes with implications. I come from South Africa and the shit I've seen and unfortunately been involved in plainly shocks anyone. I've seen guys being put in ICU, several dudes I know are in wheel chairs, I was victim to hells angels bouncer attacks (my big friend had to go to hospital), this one guy and his friends killed his cousin, my soccer team got jumped by a rival rugby team at a club, and two guys had facial repair. And all these dudes have hot women. But the thing is, it always comes back at you. And these women are caught in the crossfire. That's why I don't understand this "protection" thing either. If you with a fighter, you put yourself in the adage "live by the sword, die by the sword"

  • I've dated 3 women. Each time, I taught them how to fight, get out of a choke hold, and where a guy's weak points are. You can't expect a guy to be around you 24/7.

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    • I know. not the point of the question.

    • No the point of the question was to be a misandrist, sexist, belittling and objectifying to men.

    • I know what the point of the question is. The answer was inferred. I'm surprised you didn't pick up on it.

  • i always say to women that are always going for the huge muscular or aggressive types... that they find it hot to watch their man get aggressive with others, but one day that aggression could be turned on them... who is going to protect her then?

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    • true, but any man can become abusive.

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    • Well said women do bring it on themselves it will teach them not to judge appearances and go for men who look a certain way. Then whine when they beat them up. Women need to learn. Women also whine men they relentlessly reject because of looks turn on them and get aggressive, they also need to learn on this.

    • Actually men are more likely to be abused by a partner then women: www.saveservices.org/.../
      Significantly so.

  • i just read the opinions

    why can't these girls protect themselves

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    • I don't know why. did you read the description?

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    • not to protect, but to be able to if need be.

    • SERIOUSLY. its a myth girls need saving. these girls dont want to be saved bro.

      and why do they need a man who can handle them? are you a wild animal? handle youreselves! lol

  • I, as a guy, am a proud lesbian

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  • Oh the hypocrisy.

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  • Just to make a point, a strong man with hardcore muscles won't necessarily defend you from anything. The 2/3rds who voted he must seem strong is a requirement are not very smart. A man who seems week might be more prone to defend their lovers when necessary.

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    • it doesn't say anything about muscle, why are you assuming that no one thinks a smaller guy could seem protective?

  • What's he going to protect you against? Anyone that would want to cause you harm can no matter what the guy looks like. I guess just the feeling is it?

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    • this isn't about me. I've never dated s guy because I thought he could protect me.

    • Sorry, I meant in general. I shouldn't have used the word "you", I just meant all females

  • The desire to be protected in a dangerous world makes sense. But hey, weapons exist for a reason.

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  • That's about what I expected.

    :)

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  • I always found these questions weird because what am I defending you from? Are you doing something that you aren't suppose to be doing lol?

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  • They want a guy who can protect them, and hope he doesn't have to.

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  • It is not about how tall or muscular you are, it is all about how tough you are.

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    • I never said it was. no one ever reads the damn descriptions!

    • it's not even a long description. come on, man

    • That is why you shouldn't write more than one sentence descriptions. Strong or weak doesn't matter, this is not middle age. You can get always get a gun and use it if required.

  • I want a girl to protect me not the other way around :/

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  • Having done martial arts for most of my life while the other kids did soccer I'm happy to attest that this seldom boils down to how big someone is. Naturally a very big difference ends up meaning a lot but...

    I did PTK when I was 17. Hadn't bulked up. Wasn't the biggest guy. Average or thereabout. I was chasing around 120kg bodybuilders and the only guy in the group who could consistently match me was my own size (maybe smaller).
    I had the typical won't back down "Killer" mentality. They did not. It is sort of how a chihuahua usually sends a great dane running. Can the Dane overwhelm the chihuahua? Absolutely. But most of the time it loses mentally.
    So I guess my point is, any guy who would fiercely defend someone is likely to come out successful against your average but stronger opposition.

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    • I never claimed bigger guys are stronger. I'm simply asking others what about a guy makes them feel physically safe with him. I asked based on things a lot of females ansers for why they like this or that type of guy on other questions

    • Oh no. Sorry if that came across wrong. I probably ran off on a rant. Bad habit.
      What I meant was simply that if someone really cares about you that is probably the most determining factor to how capable that someone would be of protecting you in a pinch.

      Similarly I think that many women realize that the rather primitive ability to keep them physically safe and the willingness to do so stems primarily from caring about them and as such it is a trait you would want in someone. I was just trying to emphasize how much attitude matters and there are few things to make someone ignite as much as seeing a loved one in trouble.

What Girls Said 25

  • Men only have to show that they care for me to feel protected

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  • I don't need a bodyguard, wanting to date a taller guy to protect you is stupid unless you live in a dangerous area.

    I rather have a man that makes me feel emotionally safe.

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  • I love the guys who clicked the lesbian option lol. I could care less about that. As long as he's a good match for me.

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  • Its all about his actions. Apart from height, actions speak louder than words. I remember one time I got in a minor car accident, I hit the car in front of me and I went off from the car and found he is gangster, even scarier. So then my natural reaction is to call my boyfriend since i was on the way to his place. Just like miracle he was in the car way behind me. So he came to me, talked to them and shaked their hands, said sorry to them. And they decided not to exchange any insurance info. Its a minor crash but at that moment, I feel like I fall for my boyfriend badly again ! All the physical appearance doesn't matter the most, what matter the most is how he handles things when I have totally no idea what is going on.

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    • how do you know they were gangsters? I imagine if they actually had been, they would have just driven off immediately

    • Cause its written on the vest he is wearing lol They didn't drive off because they were not from that area maybe, I dunno. But they didn't have bad damage anyways, and I found they are nice actually.. haha

  • I am not sure what I am attractive too lol! Maybe I am into aliens lol! Secondly... I guess its always handy that a guy can defend me from a group of thugs!

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    • lol, you want a hulk! if you're expecting a guy to defend you against a crowd ;p

    • meh as long as he can walk me home at night I should be fine!

  • I don't expect a man to be the super macho "I can protect you type" since I'm not a little bitch, but I certainly don't want a date a guy that'll use me as a meat shield either. A happy medium is invited.

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  • Look, I don't necessarily want my future boyfriend to get in a fight. But if he does, I would prefer him to win. Also, I think protectiveness, strength and toughness is attractive because it biologically attractive to have this trait in a male.

    Opposites attract in femininity and masculinity. I feel that this applies to homosexual and lesbians as well; even if the gender is the same, I've seen a masculine/feminine difference between individuals of same sex couples.

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    • So if he lost would you dump him? Be honest.

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    • @young_and_confused Honestly, no. I would respect that he tried with good intentions more than anything. But, one thing I've noticed in most of the guys I've dated, is that the their confidence in themselves and us as a couple decreased whenever the guy felt his masculinity was threatened. I kept doing things like paying for both of us, driving us to our dates, leading conversations and interactions, planning and so on. My recent ex directly told me that he wanted to be the one to "provide" for me, which in my case were the interactions listed earlier. Providing can also stem to protection as well. If simple things like driving was enough to make my exes feel threatened, I can only imagine how losing a fight in front of me would impact his confidence. But overall, I would hope that the situation never happened in the first place.

    • For most men, being emasculated is their worst fear. Even if a woman says she's ok with paying, driving, planning, leading etc, we still feel like were not man enough in some way, also, losing a fight in front of your girlfriend for some men can be mentally unrecoverable. Even if a woman says she'll be ok with it some of us still believe she'll be sexually fantasizing about the guy who beat him. Call me crazy if you want, but i've seen some cringeworthy stories from men who got beat up in front of their girlfriends.

  • See, I need to know a guy can have my back just like i would have his back, Not one of those runs off when something goes down guys and not one of those guys who are always looking for a fight.

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    • yea, men who are always looking for a fight are annoying.. I like the whole we fight together mentality. (:

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    • @somebodysaycheese it's all about confidence. What i say isn't nonsense, it's facts!

    • Who gives a damn about fighting; fighting is useless, you earn nothing but trouble!

  • https://youtu.be/Kofjk-CxAc4

    I salute this guy 👆👆👆
    nah tall or short doesn't matter it's muscle that matters, look at this youtube link where the small boyfriend body slams the cheating gfs side piece.

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    • lol he knocked the shit out of him, he must be a wwe fighter haha.

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    • lol that was awesome

    • hahaha that guy in the red just doesn't know how to fight at all, look at how he tries to throw a punch, absolute trash form and you can tell that he's never been into a fight and has absolute zero training.

  • I voted C purely because I think A and B are stupid. I don't want a weak man but who says the guy has to defend me from other men? I can't speak for other girls but I know when I say that I and my man to protect me it's usually not a physical thing. Just like how a child feels safe and protected in their mothers arms. It's not so much that your mother seems "strong and able", rather you know your mother will look after you no matter what and there is a bond of love. When I say a guy makes me feel safe it's because knowing that I'm not so alone is some of the bet peace of mind there is. When you fall asleep with your head resting on someone's chest and you can hear their heartbeat thudding in a comforting rhythm it's calming, not because its a show of strength but the knowledge that someone else is there and that your not the only one who is willing to protect you. That's just my opinion though.

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    • I put "be able to defend you" simply meaning when you're with him you feel like you'd be safe if anything were to happen

  • I know that feminism says I shouldn't but im attracted to men thst are physically strong and protective.

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    • I doubt feminism says that. but anyway, what in your opinion makes a guy seem physically strong and protective?

  • My husband is built like a linebacker. He's more than capable of protecting our children, so I guess that's what really matters to me.

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  • Idgaf. I live in a safe country and I don't need to be protected.

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  • It's something that I would appreciate if there was someone willing to protect me but it is, by no means, a requirement.

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  • Yes, I want a man who is able to protect me. I am very very weak myself. 90% of *women* are probably stronger than me, nevermind men. He doesn't have to be *too* muscular. I don't think most women want extremely muscular men. "Toned" is better.

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  • Opposites attract & I am personally fairly weak (physically) so I look for a man who is stronger than me in that sense to compliment me. Usually people will look for someone with different strengths to themselves.

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  • No, I'm looking for a lover, not my own personal bodyguard.

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  • You just know without having a reason behind it. It's instinctive

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  • No if anything its better if he isn't. I might need to overpower him one day. First aid is just as handy a skill when it comes to being a "protector"

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  • I picked the first option but that's not what I necessary feel, it's more that I'm attracted to guys and feel safer with guys that have some meat on them and not sticks. And if I was shorter I'd appreciate the whole reaching the top shelf thing 😊

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  • All about the muscles 🙊

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  • Yes, I think I like idea of guy that can protect me :)

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  • I do prefer someone who's not weak, but it's not exactly about muscles and physical strength -- I like guys with a strong mentality, who are protective, and care about my safety. I don't want him to get into situations where he's faced with defending himself or me, but I just want to know that if something bad happens I can count on him not to turn tail and leave me to get hurt. I wouldn't abandon him to a fight either, and I care about his safety too, so I expect the same kind of strength, loyalty, and protective instinct of taking care of each other, whether that's emotionally or physically.

    Height is about something else for me, not care or protection. It's just attractive in and of itself and makes me feel more feminine. Kinda like asking why some guys are more attracted to girls with big boobs, or small boobs -- they just think it's sexy, and that's that. It's not hard to be taller than me though, since I'm only 5'3".

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  • Not that he has to defend me, I can defend myself... I just don't want some weak bitch as my man.

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  • I want a man you can protect me and be manly

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