How do you turn off all desire to date?

I have given up on finding the kind of love you get from dating someone and want to have no desire to date anyone. After everything that has happened I want to never feel attracted to anyone in the dating world. How do I achieve this? I just can't do this anymore! 😞


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Most Helpful Girl

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, there are a few options for you to take on here. I'll give you one method that i have found quite useful and that is to use Camphor oil and Valerian root,
    i know it probably sounds too good to be true ut you can lower your sexual needs by inhaling Camphor oil through an oil burner. I will link you all the sources you'll need in order to complete this starting with the Camphor oil: www.amazon.com/.../ref=sr_1_6_a_it
    you should drop 3-5 drops of this into the bowl of your oil burner and fill the rest of the bowl with cold tap water.
    here is a link to a fairly cheap oil burner: www.amazon.com/.../ref=sr_1_4
    here is a link to some fairly cheap candles too: www.amazon.com/.../ref=sr_1_2

    Now for the Valerian root, you should consume it as tea before you go to bed or when you're generally trying to relax, as it is a sedative and will most likely make you feel a bit sleepy.
    here are some instrunctions on how to make it:
    what you will need:
    1. Valerian root: www.amazon.com/.../ref=sr_1_5_a_it
    2. A pot or a Teapot: www.amazon.com/.../ref=sr_1_1
    3. Either Honey or sugar of your choice: it doesn't really matter which one you use but i reccommend Honey seeing as it is healthier to consume and goes better with the tea.
    4. A hob of some kind.
    How to make:
    1. Fill your tea pot with cold tap water (cold becasue warm water comes straight from the boiler and is generally unhealthy).
    2. Add 4-6 teaspoons of Valerian root.
    3. place your teapot on the fire on medium heat and wait for the tea to come to a boil.
    4. Once the tea has boiled add your prefered amount of honey or sugar i recommend 2-3 tea spoons of honey or 3 teapoons of sugar and mix it in.
    5. Lower the heat and allow the tea to simmer for approximately 5 minutes
    as this will allow the full power of the herb to be released into the water giving you the full effect.
    6. once it's finished simmering turn off the hob and pour the tea into a mug or heat resistant glass and enjoy your tea..
    this should be consumed everyday for a couple of months and after about a week or two you should start to notice that your sexual needs will be significantly reduced.
    Some sources may tell you that this is unhealthy because it is lowering your testosterone levels however this is not entirely correct seeing as you are finished with puberty so it should be safe unless you're allergic to some ingredients
    I hope this helped you Sir, Have a great day :)

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What Girls Said 8

  • Oh, give me a break. Stop the self pity party! We ALL say this sort of thing now and again, when the dating gets tough.

    You can't turn off your natural desires, and it's silly to have the "I give up" attitude just because it gets frustrating. I felt the same way, and now I'm in the best relationship ever and getting married in August.

    All you need to do, is stop trying so hard to begin with. Your life should never focus around finding some perfect person to make you happy. YOU need to be the one to make you happy, by creating the type of life you enjoy. Whether that's making sure you're in the career you want to be in, cleaning up your finances, living in the state/city you are happy in, cultivating positive relationships and career network, having a hobby you love, spending time with good friends and cutting out the bad ones from your life, eating right, taking care of your body, joining various clubs/activities to get to know more people and open more opportunities to meet the right person.

    ALL of those things require YOU to take action. It won't fall into your lap, and neither will the perfect girl. I understand it's exhausting; I've been through it too. But focus on creating a happy life for yourself, and stop focusing on your love life so much. Just because nothing has worked yet, doesn't mean something is wrong with you or that the right person is impossible to find. You're only 33; you have a ton of time on your side. There is no reason to feel rushed.

    Just be the type of person you would want to date. You've got to be completely happy in life as a single guy, before you can expect to share your life with someone else and be successeful at it. One of my good friends is 38.. and after a string of bad relationships, he ended up finding a great girl and they are getting married in May. He had to make some changes in his life (like above) before he was in a position to share it with the perfect girl for him. Time is going to pass anyway. Don't you want to have a happy life regardless? Or do you want to choose to throw a life-long pity party? My pity party lasted about 3 years before I finally realized that I was the one who had to make some changes. I've never been happier!

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    • Why when someone says they are a bit sad people have to say "Oh, give me a break. Stop the self pity!" That actual is a bit rude of the person saying that to be honest. I could say "O, give me a break, what ever happened to people understanding people or once!

      There is tough dating but you have no idea what I have experienced. I am actually trying to make sure I am in the career I want right now. I have studied in what I want but now can't get a job in it. I am wanting to buy an apartment but I can't do that till I get a job but it really is feeling like no employer wants me. I KNOW these things won't fall in your lap and I have never thought they would and I have always been happy to work for them. I am pleased you are now more happy than you once were and I am trying to do the same but it is hard when every time you try there is someone there to knock all your efforts back down again. The thing is at least I DON'T and have NEVER given up.

  • Haha! Have you just had your heart broken? If so, get over that first before you think about dating again. I have been single for over ten years and dating sucks horribly. I have recently been ghosted on but, I still am not avoiding dating. I am happy being single, I am not one that is out there desperately trying to find a man and I am almost 35. I just feel like it will happen when it happens, in the meantime I am good doing my thing. Would it be better to be dating someone, sure! But I am not going to settle so I can be patient and wait it out. Just get over whatever you are going through and just let it happen, do not force it.

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    • This is not funny!!! I have been single for 33 years. I am trying to sort things out but that can be more easy said than done sometimes , especially after what has happened to me. I am trying to make my life better. I studied what I wanted at university but now can't get a job in it which sucks. I am actually starting to think university was a big mistake! I want to get an apartment but I can't do that to I get a job.

    • I am not laughing at you, it just seems like this is coming from a certain experience that you may not be mentioning. Like I said, I have only had one relationship in 35 years and I have a Masters degree and can't get my foot in the door either. We have a lot in common. However, I have a job that pays well anyways and you can't force finding someone. I am just saying, I am still optimistic that I will find both and you will too. Just keep sending out resumes and relax about dating, both will come in time.

    • Yeah, I have had thoughts on why we are not getting a foot in the door but do not know how to say it with it sounding worng.

  • I just stopped dating, making eye contact and small talk, etc. Also, I am working to give much thought of what other people think of me for being different. I know I'm different. Instead, I turned even more of my attention to things I actually enjoy, like writing, hiking, music and books. I am learning about things I always wanted to learn each day.

    Also, stop waiting for a relationship for permission to enjoy life. Cook good meals for yourself, go on trips if you'd like, treat your body good with exercise and work on any mental health issues you may have (most of us do).

    It's kind of liberating to only need your own peace of mind to feel whole. A lot of longing and aching we feel is because we're convinced something outside ourselves will fix everything, but it's not that way.

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    • That should say work to not give much thought to what people think.

      As far as sex drive, which you appear to be concerned about - it replenishes and isn't ever really quenched anyway. Temporary relief is all exists for that, and it doesn't take another person to just get the urge out of the way and move on with life.

  • Think all women are evil?

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  • Aw don't stress! Just focus on other things if you truly want to stop dating. Focus on your hobbies, your friends/family, etc.. But in my opinion, I believe that a person for you will come along when you least expect it. Stay positive!

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  • It's not just a switch you can flip.

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  • When dating keeps stressing you out, best to step away and focus on things to improve your life.

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    • I have heard of an operation I can get done. I am going to talk to my doctor and get it done. It will make me have no desire to date again.

  • Just give up caring it's easy if you put your mind to it.

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What Guys Said 10

  • Sometimes it is when we are not looking, that the person we are looking for shows up!

    You sound discouraged, embrace your time alone and do the things you want to do now so that when you do hook-up with that special someone, you will have fulfilled that part of your life.

    Life is not all about finding that one person and the dating scene. Set your own goals and get out there. You may meet her along the way!

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    • I have closed my heart to women.

    • That's fine with respect to closing your heart off to women for now, but what I am saying is don't let women from your past, have that much influence on you.

      Especially to the point where precludes you making friends with women. A girl can be your best friend (not your lover) and best thing for you at this stage.

  • just do you

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  • Get an addiction to something non-harmful. Like video games or something.

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  • Castration using medications is pretty much your only way of doing that, but I don't recommend that at all. I felt just like you, but I met someone who may be the one.

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  • I find the best way is to focus and develop yourself. This could be through career or hobbies but keep busy and constantly improve. Also, more money is a huge incentive as you only need to cater for yourself and make yourself happy. But keep open to the possibility in the future as you may regret it. Hope this helped.

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  • This'll just give us more options thanks!

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    • Pffft not helpful at all. If you can't give helpful advice then don't asnwer.

  • Chemical castration?

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  • only beta needy poor ass fags date. a real man today who is selfsufficient doesn't need dating, relationships or marriage. especially marriage... .

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  • Sadly I wish there was a way but I don't think there is

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  • Either have very big ego or hate everything.

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