I've been dating this guy for a couple of months. He just dropped a bomb on me that he's infertile. I REALLY want biological children of my own and want to share that with my future spouse. Does it make me a horrible person if I decide this is a deal breaker and stop dating him?
No it isn't awful of you. This is fair incompatibility that sometimes occurs in relationships. Anyone telling you that it is awful of you for not giving up your dreams and life goals, for a guy you have been dating for a couple of months is an idiot.
I hear people complain about nonsense deal breakers all the time, often to the point they exclude 100% of humanity in their list of deal breakers. Your deal breaker however is very reasonable.
I don't think this makes you a 'horrible' person. It's a sad situation all around because obviously it's not his fault. However, you have every right to desire biological children. The decision to have children or not is a big deal in a relationship. Even though this isn't really a 'decision' since he can't help it, it's still a major issue if one partner does want biological children and the other person is infertile.
Ending things would probably be best for BOTH of you. You can move on and find someone who will be able to give you biological children. He can also move on and find someone who will love him and be okay with adoption (or not having kids at all, if that's what they want).
No. There may be other solutions. I know someone with same scenario who is married was inseminated at clinic.
but in general, no. If the reverse was true, same deal. It is reality and you have to accept the whole person. It might make you both feel bad, but that's just life... he may be awsome every other area where the next husband is a controlling jerk, so don't think perfection:)
It is an awful thing to do if that is the reason for breaking up with him. You should actually go with how you feel about him altogether. There are other ways to go about having a child. Every relationship is a compromise.
Some couples are comfortable with adopting or with artificial insemination. Some value the DNA connection. Some pet owners love their pets more than their kids so obviously the DNA connection isn't necessary. But don't let anyone judge you for wanting the DNA connection with your children. If that means moving on to another relationship then do it.
No, i think you did the right thing. Your future as a parent is not worth sacrificing or even compromising for one specific person. There are plenty of guys that are more compatible with you. It was best that you broke it off quickly, without leading him on.
He also did the right thing by letting you know early on.
I guess you just need to be aware of what you're giving up. If you think you can find someone just as good go ahead and do what you need to. If he is someone special then you should consider whether or not you're making a decision that you will regret.
That sucks, but at least he told you relatively soon! I think he would understand if you did stop seeing him. Even though it is unpleasant, he has to respect how you feel about having your own children someday!
Now I really came to know that why people say world is full of meanfull person... u r think of your own.. at least he have the guts to tell u that he is infertile... now u keep yur self in the place of that guy and think what if u where infertile... I don't know u love this guy or not but if u love this then their no matter that he is infertile or not.. or having a child of yur own or not...
No it isn't. If it had been about something like he wasn't earning enough money I'd have slated you but that's a big concern for anybody. You're right to want your own kids naturally. That's life and it's full of hard decisions.
is he sterile... ask from him actually infertility are of two types 1. sterile 2. Erectile dysfunction.(could be treated by Viagra)
still you could have babies but not from him from someone else by In-vitro fertilization we call it test tube baby. In this case baby will be yours means you will be mother but biological father will be different..
No, it doesn't make you a horrible person. He doesn't fit your needs. You'd be horrible if you continued to date and mislead him that all is fine , however. Don't feel bad. Having a family of your own is a big deal.
No. Clearly you want something out of life that he isn't or can't or won't be able to provide you. He has now told you he can't have children... it is now up to you whether you decide if this is a deal breaker or not. You know you want lemons but if a person cannot give fruits, are you going to sacrifice your lemons or look for them elsewhere? Up to you... Your life, your choice.
No it's not. Yes it will feel shit doing it, but at the end of the day he won't ever be able to give you what you want. Also you'll both feel better for it in the long run. And you've only been dating for a couple months, not 2 years, so I doubt deep feelings have developed yet. Goodluck!
Hey, I'm very sorry for you. I'm not sure if I can relate but in my case, I was fully in love with my boy, and he the same with me. Except... it turned out that he was transgender, and I'm straight, and he started being more of himself, not the guy I met. I still haven't fully let him go. We aren't dating but be are romantically and sexually still together and I know in the future we won't be together as I still hope for. I'm still trying to be attracted to his femininity, it's hard :(
With that said, it's going to be damn hard. You just have to think about what's best with you in your life. Still be best friends. How much do you love this guy? Consider all the factors and even with that you will not be sure but with time, you'll both find your way. The longer you wait it out, the more it will hurt in the end. I just hope it works out for both of you x
If you really love him or he trully loves you, you should not care if he is cannot give you children in the future when you plan to marry him. Did you know that a wife who never bore children are actually more blessed because having children is a lot of responsibilities and some children can suffer a lot more than other children. I am telling you this because I do not plan to have children of my own because it is a heavy burden of those precious souls.
oh this is awful :( but if it were me I would talk to him and NICELY let him know that I want children one day and that's something he can't provide and you're sorry it has to end this way. don't just peace out on him with no explanation.