Me and my girlfriend set a rule on smoking. I dont smoke but she does. I hate smoking and when im with her she promised not to smoke. I picked her up from her exam and she was in a bad mood. Then she lit a cigarette in my car and i got mad cause i don't like the smell and don't want my car smelling like smoke. So i asked her nicely to throw it out the window, i did this 4 times. Then i started to shove her shoulder and i kept doing it until she gave in. She hit me in the arm and said i was an @$$hole and i "abused" her. I told her that is not abuse. 4 shoves is not abuse in my mind. So im just wondering and i wanted to post a question on here. Do you think it it's abuse? i did push with force, but not to the point where like it was bad or anything. Now she won't respond to my texts.
Mmmm, this is a toughie... In my personal opinion, this isn't abuse, BUT it caused her to feel violated physically. If you haven't told her sorry for shoving her first thing, this is probably why she won't respond to you. So apologize. Try a non physical approach EVEN THOUGH you did ask politely 4 times. She was having a bad day, you knew this, so shoving shouldn't have been your second option to handle the situation. And next time she smokes in your car without a care, depending on where you are pull over and park somewhere. Let her smoke outside the car until she's finished and somewhat calmed down. Then proceed. If you can't pull over, roll down all the windows and try to bear with it just for her sake.
Depends entirely on how hard it was. You should of just stopped the car and had her throw it out or get out of your car. But anyways,
If you expressed anger physically that is "abusive". But if it was just a side nudge and not thrusting her body into the door, then it's not really abuse. But as a man you shouldn't be doing that kind of thing anyways. You don't want to get involved in that game. You might end up hurting her one day completely in accident and you'll have abused her solely because you were used to physically expressing your anger.
It isn't abuse, but it isn't appropriate. You're a grown man who shouldn't have to resort to physically pushing somebody. Because while it isn't as severe as hitting, it can easily be seen as a precursor to potential violent behavior.
I don't think it was, you asked repeatedly and she didn't respect your request so you basically did the same to her. She didn't want shoved and you did it anyway. Give her a day of no contact for you both to just get over it and then call or text her and if your sorry then apologize.
Omg no! What she did was disrespectful. You have rights in your own car. An abusive man (or me) would have slapped her upside the head. This one is trouble, run before she beats the crap out of you in a temper tantrum and tries to have you arrested. Run fast
Personally I'd consider kicking her to the curb as it is, but I'm just a stranger on the intarwebz. She had a bad day and took it out on you by not respecting your limits, which is extremely childish. You reciprocated. Granted, the police will arrest a guy for looking at a girl the wrong way, so don't ever do it again. And if she is still pissed and tries to have you charged, deny, deny, deny. You both fucked up but she precipitated the whole thing.
And if you apologize to her, you are admitting that you were wrong and she was not. You will be her bitch, now and forever. She will know that she has no limits. If anyone is owed an apology, it's you.
Never lay your hands on someone before they lay them on you, otherwise you are asking for trouble. Especially with a woman where the law will automatically vilify you as the bad guy. I'm not sure it was abuse, but I do not necessarily feel bad for you since you were an idiot anyway who did something stupid.
Who cares? Do you really want her back? Smoking your care was extremely disrespectful. No wonder you ware angry. You can never get smoke out of a car, and it destroys the resale value. Yeah, you probably shouldn't have pushed her but what-fing-ever. Forget her and date a girl who doesn't smoke.