I have a really strange issue. People keep saying that the only way to get a woman to see a man romantically, is if he makes his romantic intent clear from the beginning. In my case, I don't develop attraction towards a woman until I have known her reasonably well, and by that time, it is usually too late because she can't see me as anything more than a friend. For me, a woman's personality and nature matters much more than looks, and that's the reason why I don't see a woman and immediately think that I should date her.
Due to this issue of mine, I have fallen for female friends several times, and ended up disappointed. Before you say that I befriended them just to get into their pants, please save yourself the trouble. I just can't get attracted to women, no matter how they look, until I get to know them well as friends first, and I never befriended women with the intention of dating them at some point.
So do I have to just accept the fact that I have to remain single forever, since I don't feel attracted to anyone without getting to know them as friends first? Or is there something I can work on?
Most Helpful Girl
Sounds distinctively demisexual. I haven't personally had this problem and I am very much the same, because while I am the type to only date people I have gotten to know well, I have always ended up dating men who either pursued me and were patient enough to get to know me, or I have made moves on people who I considered friends and got good feedback. I guess it just depends on what kind of friend you are to them; if you are a distinctively platonic, non-sexually threatening friend you will have a much harder time convincing a friend to give you a shot than you would if you presented yourself in a less platonic light. How you go about that is up to you.
First and foremost I suggest actually confessing to the people you end up liking and be cool about it, maybe even explain your situation: You only fall for women you get to know on a friendlier/deeper level, and you want to get to know them romantically. Or perhaps try making a move or ask them out when you get the slight inclination that there might be something more between you. Don't be afraid to playfully flirt either - just make it so that when you pop into their heads they don't immediately look at you as "that one friend who would never make a move."0
Most Helpful Guy
I would say keep doing what you are doing, and don't listen to some of these fools that tell you that you are wrong!! I feel the same, and I need to KNOW her, and respect her, and like her, share interests, and just be 'friend's' before I really get excited by her, in a more sensual way!!
It's the hardest, most difficult way to go, but when you find that ONE, it's like what do we do for our 50th anniversary kind of thing.
You won't be single forever. Trust that she is out there, and just meet a lot of people, and be open, maybe taking some classes, like cooking, or some craft you like.2