I always fall for female friends. Help?

I have a really strange issue. People keep saying that the only way to get a woman to see a man romantically, is if he makes his romantic intent clear from the beginning. In my case, I don't develop attraction towards a woman until I have known her reasonably well, and by that time, it is usually too late because she can't see me as anything more than a friend. For me, a woman's personality and nature matters much more than looks, and that's the reason why I don't see a woman and immediately think that I should date her.

Due to this issue of mine, I have fallen for female friends several times, and ended up disappointed. Before you say that I befriended them just to get into their pants, please save yourself the trouble. I just can't get attracted to women, no matter how they look, until I get to know them well as friends first, and I never befriended women with the intention of dating them at some point.

So do I have to just accept the fact that I have to remain single forever, since I don't feel attracted to anyone without getting to know them as friends first? Or is there something I can work on?

Updates:
I never confessed to any of those female friends I fell for, except one (who turned me down as expected).

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds distinctively demisexual. I haven't personally had this problem and I am very much the same, because while I am the type to only date people I have gotten to know well, I have always ended up dating men who either pursued me and were patient enough to get to know me, or I have made moves on people who I considered friends and got good feedback. I guess it just depends on what kind of friend you are to them; if you are a distinctively platonic, non-sexually threatening friend you will have a much harder time convincing a friend to give you a shot than you would if you presented yourself in a less platonic light. How you go about that is up to you.

    First and foremost I suggest actually confessing to the people you end up liking and be cool about it, maybe even explain your situation: You only fall for women you get to know on a friendlier/deeper level, and you want to get to know them romantically. Or perhaps try making a move or ask them out when you get the slight inclination that there might be something more between you. Don't be afraid to playfully flirt either - just make it so that when you pop into their heads they don't immediately look at you as "that one friend who would never make a move."

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would say keep doing what you are doing, and don't listen to some of these fools that tell you that you are wrong!! I feel the same, and I need to KNOW her, and respect her, and like her, share interests, and just be 'friend's' before I really get excited by her, in a more sensual way!!
    It's the hardest, most difficult way to go, but when you find that ONE, it's like what do we do for our 50th anniversary kind of thing.
    You won't be single forever. Trust that she is out there, and just meet a lot of people, and be open, maybe taking some classes, like cooking, or some craft you like.

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    • Thanks for the sensible response, unlike most others who judged me. I guess I will have to just keep telling myself that she's out there, and in case I never find her, even then I should be able to cope because I need to find happiness from within, and not due to the presence of a partner.

    • Sometimes people find that special one, sometimes we just need to listen, and hear a 'different call'. Maybe you find her, maybe not, but what if you don't, and just do something AMAZING and help millions?
      Stay positive, and keep meeting women, and you will find her!!

What Girls Said 25

  • So you are saying that in a dating situation you act the way you act with these girls you befriend? Sooooo, what is the distinguishment between the girls you befriend and ones you want to date? NONE. You can't date a girl without becoming friends first and getting to know them so it only makes sense you end up liking the girls you become friends with! See what I am saying? You don't know until you are already friends if you would like them. And now you are friends with all of them... and now you realize you like them... Huh?

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    • Sorry, I didn't get you.

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    • @Dim_121 you tagged the wrong person

    • Sorry I just clicked the reply button and it added in the tag for me.

  • Hey fellow demisexual person! Don't sweat it, even if you start out as friends first, it can always blossom into something more with a little luck. Don't be afraid of taking some risks. It might make your friendship awkward for a while if you confess/ask them out and they reject you, but then it'll be easier to move on since you know for sure that you don't have a chance. And if it "ruins" your friendship, then I'd argue that your friendship wasn't very strong to begin with. Don't take yourself so seriously and try to laugh it off. Things will only feel awkward if you make them awkward.

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  • Of course you don't have to stay single. I know looks don't matter to you (and I'm sure that's 90% true) but let's face it, we all have a type usually.

    If you ever meet another woman who might have characteristics that you usually like in women, then let her know from the start before there is any chance for something more than friendship, you want to get to know her because personality, future goals, similar interest etc is very important to you.

    That way you always have the option to date them if you fall for them.

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  • It's called demisexuality --- I feel the same way.
    it can be a huge obstacle. I guess we should just try harder - maybe go in with the romantic notion and see if it develops into something real. If it doesn't then you know it's not meant to be.

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    • Yeah, I refrained from using that term demisexual, because I didn't want to get judged. Glad to know that you understand how tough it is. :(

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    • Yup being demisexually thingy is a pain. I do with that there was a less sexual term for it though. So it is easier to explain to my family/friends who are trying to find me a date. Recently the best I have done is screw up two friendships and panicked about screwing up a third. Though we do have to remember that it is not up to the guys to guard our friends hearts. They need to be doing that themselves.

  • I'm the same way with guys. Like if a hot guy walks by, I'll think, "Wow, he looks good" but if I actually have a crush it's always on a friend. So it's not abnormal. I think being friends first is good anyway. I'm sure that eventually you'll have a female friend who likes you back. It'll just take time. But the saying about men needing to make a romantic intention in the beginning isn't true.. at least not for me. I get weirded out if guys I don't know try to be romantic with me

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    • Nice to know you aren't like the other girls. But at almost 30, I'm running out of time. :(

    • Running out of time?

      My mum just broke up with one of her longest relationships (not including my dad) and she's 39.
      There IS no running out of time. Time doesn't give a shit how soon or late you think you should have your life sorted.

      Just live it. Quit worrying. When you stop looking, thats when you find it.

    • @BaileyisDarcy just for this comment alone Thank you

  • I have only ever dated men I have been friends with first, aside from my very first boyfriend and we did not last long at all. I absolutely have to get to know someone before I can see them romantically, even if I find them attractive, because I don't like casual relationships based off of simple physical attraction. So, there are women out there who are like that, but you should eventually make it known that you are interested in her romantically. You have to take a chance, even if it means rejection, otherwise you will never know, especially if she is like most women and do not want to take the first step.

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    • Yes, I did confess to one of my female friends I was really into, but she rejected me because she apparently dates only men who are above 8 in terms of looks, and to her I was just a 5.
      her out of my life, because that's the only way I can get over her, and not suffer emotional pain on a daily basis.
      One thing I am sure of, if a female friends rejects me, I need to cut

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    • Just one small question... will this method work even if I am just average looking (not bad, but not good either) and from middle-class, and the female friends can obviously get better looking and/or richer men? Not saying that I go for looks only, but it's just a thought. And is your boyfriend really good-looking, and did that contribute towards you falling for him?

    • It depends on the woman. Some women, just like some men, are more shallow than others. The majority of men, are average. That is what average means and I have seen plenty of average men with gorgeous women and vice versa.
      When I first met my man, I was not physically attracted to him, aside from the fact that I thought he had beautiful eyes, but as my feelings developed for him he became more attractive to me. So, no he was not what I considered hot, but now he is the sexiest man on the planet in my eyes. I am more physically attracted to him now than I have ever been.

  • Some of the happiest couples I know started off as friends and weren't expecting anything to turn into a relationship but it did. My best friend and her husband started off as friends but then it lead to a relationship and eventually a marriage. I have two other friends who it was the same thing. They met at a kayaking club in college, formed a friendship and that eventually led to a relationship and marriage.

    I would say instead of relying on online dating sign up for clubs, volunteering, sports, etc so you can meet new people and make new friends and who knows maybe you will meet that special someone. As my best friend points out it happens when you least expect it.

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    • The problem is, most women just DON'T give a chance to a male friend who confesses, due to the only reason that he is already a friend, and they can't see him in any other way. How to deal with this?

  • Well, I think its great that you care more about getting on with the girl first and knowing her personality. And by the way, somethime's I have been friends with a guy for ages, and not seen the 'real him', then it's knocked me by surprise when I realise just how great the guy is and then it turns out it was the same for him and we both feel mutually, and go out dating. There was a change when I think we just actually started speaking about things we want in life, and realised the other person was great. So yeah, don't say anything, be friends for ages, and then if/when you start liking the girl, act abit differently, start having proper conversations, not just the fun laughing about ones, and test the ground subtially. I really didn't think my boyfriend (ex nnow but that's besides the point), who was a friend at the time, liked me other than friends! I just didn't know!

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  • Just find a woman who feels the same way. One of your friends is bound to feel the same eventually.

    I've got the same issue. I need to get to know a person before i start to feel an attraction to them.

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    • But don' girls have some unwritten rule which says they should never date a male friend just because he is already a friend? It seems that way, because whenever male friends confess, they are rejected.

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    • Also I've read a few other of your replies, where did you get this unwritten rule from? Youve been rejected by ONE woman and you're ready to chuck the towel in.

      I think you need some thicker skin. Im not trying to be mean, but you just cannot get through life if ONE rejection has you feeling this dejected.

    • No, it's from my observation. Hardly any men I know, have got a positive response when they confessed to a woman they were already friends with. And some of these men were much better looking and richer than me.

  • You sound like a sweet guy. I wouldn't write off the prospect establishing a solid foundation with someone first, as it takes the pressure off, and also because some of the best relationships start off as friendships.

    For whatever it's worth, my boyfriend and I were in a 15 YEAR friend zone before we ever dated! We were super good friends who grew up together, and then one day, something just CLICKED.

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    • Lucky you! Unfortunately, this doesn't always happen because women have this unwritten rule that if a man is already a friend, he is unattractive and undateable.

  • I'm a girl and I'm the same way. I will be friends with a guy for quite a while. Then I gain feelings for him. But usually by that time I believe it's too late because I'm out in the friend zone. I mean a few times I did date guys who were good friends, but our relationship stayed really basic.
    I found it was best when I first met a guy to put myself out there and form a crush on them before a friendship. (if that makes sense) when I did that I ended up having better relationships.

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  • Nothing wrong with that you're a demisexual. It's kind of special because it is rare. I feel like your type of attraction is where true love can blossom because you actually care about the person at the core of their being.
    Unfortunately you are having trouble finding a reciprocation.

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    • Yeah exactly, I think girls have some unwritten rule that if a guy is already a friend, then no matter what he is never dating material.

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    • I have never tried online dating before, since I keep hearing only negative things about it. Maybe I should give it a shot, no harm in trying it as a last resort.

    • Yeah you never know. I think I'd be worth a try :)

  • I'm facing the same predicament with guys...

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    • Your gender is your biggest advantage here, most guys would be overjoyed to even get a chance to date a female friend!

  • That's emotional attachment. I don't really think you are into them.

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    • How can you be so sure about that?

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    • Ok the truth comes out ☺️

    • Lol that's funny the asker got triggered!

  • I actually think that sounds sweet. In the quest to find someone who mutually cares and likes you the way you do, you are going to bump into many who aren't "the one." That's how it works. A lot of it is just luck. I think it is possible to fall for a friend and have it work out, but you maybe need to let yourself get into more "intimate" settings with the person to see if the spark is there and be willing to try again or let go if it doesn't work. Like, 1on1 time doing something is a good way. That's what kinda sets the stage for romance I would say, even if you've known the person for a while. People are different 1on1 than they are around their friends so capitalize on that.

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  • I'm the same way, I can't become sexually attracted to a guy until I know him first. Friendships can be a good jumping off point into a relationship, it's not impossible.

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    • Then why don't women want to date their guy friends?

    • some women do and some women don't, we're all different. I've fallen for many of my guy friends before but I never dated them due to poor circumstances. Some women don't want to risk ruining the friendship or are just to shy to make the first move? Plenty of reasons.

  • You are expecting them to turn you down, so you haven't said anything about this? Try to work on your self-confidence and you will find that things will take a more positive turn.

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    • I don't see any signs from them, not even small ones, that show that they like me back. That's why I either kill my feelings forcibly over a period of time, and if I am unable to do that, I just distance myself from them.

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    • I'm sorry that you are experiencing these issues, and I know what this is like. They play off each other and exacerbate the issues as time goes on, which makes management really hard. You can still practice self-love, and this is probably the best thing for you to do in this situation. Do not let your health issues define who you are. You define who you are, so you have to ask yourself, Am I my illnesses, or are they just a part of me but I define their limits?

    • Thanks a lot for your encouraging words. I did battle my illness to a large extent, and am able to lead a reasonably normal life. But when it comes to people skills, I'm lacking severely. I find it difficult to interact normally with people, and with women especially, my emotions are all over the place.

  • Nothing wrong with falling for female friends , The problem is when you like everyone of them.

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  • I am the same way. However, I do not happen to fall for all my male friends, only those with whom I have more things in common/I connect more.

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    • I too don't fall for ALL female friends.

  • I'm the same why although I don't find it weird that he would want to be friends first. To me it makes more sense that way. I only start falling for a guy after I know them well as friends. Eventually I think you'll find a girl that feels the same way and you've only said it once, so just don't give up.

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    • I hope so too, but it's very rare for women to develop feelings for a male friend, unless he is incredibly hot. I'm not even close to 'hot'.

    • I don't think that's true. Every one of the guys I've liked have been completely different from one another. To me the connection and friendship is more important than whether or not he's 'hot', that's what attracts me in the first place.

  • lol i was friends with a guy for 2 years and he's my boyfriend now i dont see whats the big deal i don't fall for a guy till im friends

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    • You are too young, and it is common at your age. I'm friggin' 30 years old. :(

    • ha u now what the fastest way to piss a teen off say we are too young or your just a kid im not your norm run of the mill teen and i think its better to no someone before u date them but u could always just find a girl u want to be friends with and get to no her but flirt a bit to keep it a option

    • sorry i snap at u i did not mean it sorry

  • You need to start dating normally. I don't know what to tell other than that. What you are doing is only going to keep landing you in the friend zone.

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    • I simply CAN'T date normally. I have tried, but when I start off with the intention of establishing a possible romantic connection, it never works.

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    • Sigh! I suppose that's the only way out for me. Or else, I should get SO busy in life that I won't even have time to consider relationships.

    • It's worth to give it a try. Everyone uses online dating and apps nowadays anyway.

  • To be honest, I think it's only normal. But what I would advise you is to drop hints to them. And if they are feeling the same, you can take things further. It's only natural to fall for your best friend of the opposite sex.

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    • The problem is, usually women DON'T develop feelings for a male friends, unless he is incredibly hot (and I am not).

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    • If that's what will make you move on then yes, but dropping hints is not same as confessing your feelings. The friendship doesn't have to be awkward and you may not have to cut her off, but again, it will depend on how deep those feelings go.

    • Well... once I develop feelings for someone, no matter what I can't 'downgrade' them to friendship again. That's the reason i did eventually distance myself from my female friends towards who I developed feelings in the past, although I never dropped hints or confessed to the, I am over them now, but I can't be friends with them again because the feelings may return.

  • I usually fall for friends too, but the main point is to always keep some sexual tension in the friendship. With new female friends, flirt enough to keep it a possibility but not too much so it's clear you're just friends for now.

    When trying to date an existing friend, build it up slowly. More eye contact, standing closer, don't act too different but build the tension with subtle changes.

    Lastly, friendly flirting is a thing. It's fun and harmless and keeps options open at the same time.

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    • It seems SO SO difficult, I am totally lost as to how to go about what you said. :(

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    • Maybe those guys are hot, and the girls had a small crush on them from the beginning? Just a thought.

    • Possibly. I haven't been in love often enough to see a pattern.

      Also started to like one friend after he changed his hair and suddenly looked way better (although I told him he suddenly didn't look homeless anymore).

  • It is impossible to not like someone you do not see as physically attractive. To say looks don't matter is ridiculous unless you are blind. Looks are the first thing that draws in a person to get to know them. You don't love them you are just in love with idea of being in love. You fall for any woman who shows she is caring and nice

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    • I never said looks don't matter, but looks aren't the main priority for me.

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    • Did you read the question? He said that (Paraphrasing here:) Looks aren't the initial attraction, and his attraction builds with getting to know her as a person, rather than just some hot piece of A$$! I would think that women would be MORE INTERESTED in guys that wanted to know THEM, and kind of develop feelings, getting to know them, as a PERSON, than just hit on them and say 'Hey nice A$$!'
      Not everyone is drawn by looks, at first! Some more caring people are more attracted to what a person does, their values, how you connect, together, maybe even being 'friends' and finding an intimate, then sensual, sexual connection in that.
      Beauty fades, and stupid is forever! I would prefer to be with someone that I share values, and interests with, and yeah, THAT ALONE, makes her 'ATTRACTIVE!'

    • @SomeGuy37 yes I read the question. Boy bye

What Guys Said 22

  • I was always the exact same way basically up until my current girlfriend. Based on my experience, here would be my recommendations:

    1. If you have a crush on a friend and they are single, don't write off the feelings as a never going to happen thing. The subject of my biggest crush on a female friend rejected me when I asked her out, and while it hurt a lot, it let me move past my feelings for her and our friendship has grown closer than ever since. On the other hand, going after several of my other friend crushes as led to a short relationship with one, making out with another, and hooking up with a third (and only screwed up one of the three friendships in the process), so don't think that a girl you're friends with will never give you a chance.

    2. For me, when I got to the point of wanting to actually date, it helped for me to change the framework in which I thought of new girls I was meeting to introduce the idea of a romantic relationship with the girl even if I didn't know if I was attracted to her yet. The first stage of any relationship (friendship or romantic) is the getting to know you stage. So with that, if you meet a girl who you think you might develop feelings for, ask her out. You'll get to know her faster on a date or two than hanging out as new friends. This way, if feelings develop, you're already dating so there is no issue. On the contrary, if they don't, then you can honestly say that you aren't feeling it and either just be friends with her or move on entirely.

    That's my two cents. Hope you find it at least a little helpful

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    • Yes, you have been really helpful, and your answer is very well written. I don't know how much of it I can actually implement, though. I do have a bit of social anxiety, self-esteem and confidence issues.

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    • Its only hopeless if you don't let yourself open up to it happening. A relationship isn't going to fall into your lap (and if it does, you should probably seriously question it). One way or another, if you want a relationship, you need to change your mindset, either by going after the crush you have or pursuing new relationships with the intent of exploring more than a friendship with the new girl and seeing if the feelings develop.

    • For women, relationships do fall into their lap. Not for men though. Anyway, I get your point and will see what I can do about it.

  • i can definitely agree with you to an extent. i can find a girl attractive but i don't see her as a potential partner until i get to know her further.

    it is a difficult way to go about meeting people because, as you said, often times once you've established that friendship it's hard to transition to a romantic relationship, especially when the friendship is valued so much

    i think you need to make it a point of expressing your feelings to these women. even if you just sort of lay out on the table how you typically enter into relationships (getting to know someone >>> leading to romantic relationship) it will at least help make your intentions clearer

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    • Sigh! Yeah, very well pit. I need to try this. Why is dating and relationships SO FUCKING HARD for men? The ladies have it so easy. :(

    • i think that's sort of a perspective thing and subjective. cause most women, and it's evidenced in questions face relationship troubles of their own; however often times their difficulties are experienced in different areas

  • O that is a tough problem. I have had the same one recently and like you it did not go over well. It is really hard to find a woman that you can look at and go Yes I want to date her. It is easier to just be her freind. If it happens again take your time letting her know that you have romantic feelings for her. Slowly start flirting with her. Do it with you freinds, her freinds, randomly. Eventually someone will tell her if her does not get the hint that your into her. You can't just one day say that you have developed feelings for them. They feel betrayed when you tell them that. I suggest joining a Church young adult group or some other small group where you have to get to know poeple as freinds. Many churches even encourage poeple to try and look to their freinds for a mate. You will find a girl eventually don't worry. Just remember to break it to them slowly or wait a year from meeting them and send the a lovely small Valentine with a nice poem inside.

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    • I don't know, I'm not religious and I haven't been to a church in ages.

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    • I'm done with my education, and am now employed full time.

    • How about a hobby group?

  • I think it is good you know yourself and your challenge. there is nothing wrong with that, I actually think it is good. I would make your intent and pattern known up front, I would think some women would appreciate that... I know some that would. The more you communicate with them the better off you will be... that way they don't jump to assumptions and friendzone you.

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    • Upfront? You mean to say, I should let her know WHEN I start developing feelings?

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    • So whom do I consult for counselling? And will I be put on psychiatric meds?

    • Find a relationship counselor, someone with designation PCC-S or PCC. Here's an example: www.lacounselingservices.com/OurCounselors.en.html
      No, I don't take meds for anything and you don't need a psychiatrist who prescribes meds. Stay away from them in general. They won't even suggest it unless you come across as very depressed and I'm not reading that. Not saying anything is wrong with you, am saying we all have hurts from childhood that will leach out in relationships so we should all work to resolve those. Realtionships are like amplifiers... they will turn up that stuff as you begin to get close... on both sides.

      You may find it is a waste of time because nothing is turning up (there is no aggitator).. then ok. So then you can find a girlfriend and find that aggitation:)! Cost $90/hr roughly... some churches offer for free.
      Also read the book Change your life in 7 days, that will help in general... can't hurt!

  • Simple.
    Flirt with every girl that you meet, so that the idea of you being a future possibility is always there in the back of their mind. So when you do develop feelings you can just show intent. Presenting yourself as a man should be a regular part of your life. Flirting without intention is still a positive thing. Girls like to feel girly around guys, even if they're just a friend. I have female friends that I'll wink at or pickup and lift in the air when I hug them and they love it. Giggling and blushing. You can give girls those feelings without pursuing them for more.

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    • The problem is, I just CAN'T flirt. I'm not a natural at flirting. When I try to fake it, it comes off really awkward and weird.

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    • Light flirting examples: having strong eye contact when talking. If she calls your name and you turn to look in her eyes, she should FEEL your presence/attention/focus. You might feel uncomfortable doing that if you don't already, so take glances away to break the tension if you need to. But if you feel comfortable, she will b comfortable. That's why it's more important how you feel when having strong eye contact.

      Touching her. Hugging when you greet her hello or goodbye. Randomly poking her, because you feel like it. Kind of like you want to tickle her. Tickling work too lol. Living her up in the air. Touching her to get her attention like, placing your hand on her back (not to low) when asking if she wants a drink at a party.

      Complimenting her past just saying you look pretty. Going a step further and say something like,"you look stunning in that dress girl" with a little smirk. She should see you smiling with your eyes and feel it. You can do all of that and none of it be creepy

    • a lot of flirting is simply you establishing yourself as a man, recognizing that you are in the presence of a beautiful woman. And nothing has to happen. You're just expressing that recognition

  • Being friends first is okay and you can still form a romantic connection later. The problem is that you have trouble showing your romantic side and get stuck in the friendzone. Its a lot harder break out of the friendzone and then be romantic than it is to start off romantic from the beginning.

    So its okay being friends first if you wish but work on being seen as a potential boyfriend bc if she sees you only as a friend then its not going to work out.

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    • No, I don't have 'trouble' showing romantic feelings, but how can I do it when I am sure that she does not feel the same towards me?

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    • In his details he said he never confessed to them except for one

    • @ikissedtheskyonce He is still a friend though. Its just a friendly relationship so he has to make more flirty moves so the girl can actually develop feelings for him.

  • don't treat your female friends the same way you treat your guy friends. Females have slightly warped idea about friendship. Confuses the hell out of most guys. You should always have more guy friends... And if your female friends start to really take liberties with your time... you could always ask them to help you bang their friends.

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  • You have to stop whining and fucking do something with yourself moving towards a better life.

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    • How can you 'assume' that I do nothing else with my life, when this question is ONLY about the aspect I have described? Looks like you enjoy being sarcastic to random people on the internet asking genuine questions. If you can't help, why even post?

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    • Im not the kind of person to feel sorry for you. But it is not just you in this case, many guys feel the same way you do. I wouldn't cut yourself short and cut out a massive part of life.

    • Maybe I should just go for a mail order bride from an Asian country, she won't ever say 'no'. Because I am quite sure that even if I approach a thousand women, they will all reject me anyway.

  • No one here is wrong I was friends with my ex for 7 years before we dated.. so yea just didn't end will because I was mature enough to handle her parents.

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  • People here are full of shit. Girls who are your friends are never going to be with you. You can only sit around and watch them hook up with some other guy. I don't have the solution for your problem man, but I can tell you that this way it doesn't work and it never will. I've been there

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    • I thought as much, I think I should just get SO busy that I won't even have time to think of dating and relationships.

    • That won't help either. Tried that as well. Im just trying to spare you from wasting time and feeling awful.

  • are most of your buddies women?

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    • No, only a small handful of them are women. I don;t even have many male friends too, I have always been a recluse and somewhat of a loner.

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    • The problem is, I suffer from clinical depression, hyperanxiety, bipolar and ADHD. Even normal interactions with people is a challenge for me. With women though, my emotions are all over the place. :(

    • what?

      if girls are giving you their number, then there's no difficulty there. i think you're just scared of putting yourself out there only to get shut down... normally you'd feel like shit, as rejection i never fun... but you'll feel good about yourself, as you've successfully faced your fear. self improvement no matter how you look at it.

  • Being friends and weasel ing your way in don't work.

    Be strict forward from the get go.

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  • tie your shoe laces

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  • me too it SUX MANG

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  • You are perfectly normal. There is nothing you can do about this. As for being single forever I think that's a tad exaggerating.

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  • I understand what you mean. I am exactly same.
    I don't know what should we do. It's literally impossible to just like someone like others do. Getting approached by a random person doesn't really help either.

    I don't believe that you or I will remain single forever. For example, I was approached by two girls A & B. B was one of my best friends. I had to reject B's approach because I was in love with another best friend C. Shit happens!
    I don't regret rejecting B because it was the right thing to do.

    There are two possibilities:
    Either you've to approach a friend and hope that she reciprocates your feelings in similar manner.
    OR
    A female friend approaches you. Then you have to "try" to build the romance based on the friendship. It shouldn't be hard as you already have rapport with her as a friend.

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    • Oh man, girls themselves approached you? Wow! As far as I know, men are always expected to make the first move. If not one but TWO girls approached you, it means you are EXTREMELY good-looking! I don't have that luxury, since I look average.

    • I'm not good-looking at all. I'm average at max. I've glasses, big forehead, developing baldness, underweight and socially awkward!
      Yeah, I was surprised by that. I never had confidence in myself but those two girls have boosted confidence. I don't think looks matter that much unless you're straight off-putting ugly. Don't lose hope. It'll happen.

      See, you at least had balls to approach one of them. I don't. C is still around me but I've given up on her. At least you've that advantage over me!

  • i will give you a free lesson... MEN AND WOMEN CANNOT BE FRIENDS.

    you wanna get to know them deeply lol "as friends" riiiight. see my point?

    just move the fuck on and realize that you deeply want to FUCK EM ALL. seriusly.

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  • Just to be clear, are you saying that you initially don't see them in a sexual way, but after getting close and really finding you like and get along with them, you want to stick your dick in them?

    Or do you mean something else?

    What does 'dating' mean to you?

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    • I am NOT even going into the sexual territory here. Stop with your sarcasm already.

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    • Good idea. I have heard of people in their 90s finding love when they are on their deathbeds in hospitals, so maybe... just maybe... there might be ONE woman in the world who is willing to give me a chance to prove that I am capable of loving.

    • Wow.. And I thought that women overthink things. You need to remain positive that someone special will come into your life! You will glow with confidence as a result and women will be attracted to that! There are 7.4 BILLION PEOPLE in the world! It is unrealistic to say that at least a handful would be over the moon to have you as a boyfriend!.

  • Maybe it's the kind of girls you are going after...

    The not so shy girls, are a lot easier to talk too and will make you fall in love with them without even realizing they are doing so...

    Where as the shyer girls would love to be friends before being in a relationship...

    Have you had a friend that you have not fallen for?

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    • You do make a valid point. Of course, I have only fallen for a small handful of female friends, not everyone.

  • stop having female "friends"... . problem solved.

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    • So do I just cut out the female friends I already have?

    • yeah. in the end its all just a theatre. who of them would take a bullet for you? friends is a heavy word to use for someone it can't be used lightly...

  • As abundantlyrich said, its just emotional attachment. Yes, true it's the most important thing in a healthy relationship, but you're not into a relatiknship.
    So , you go out and fuck someone's brain out and see how that emotional attachment vanishes in a couple of days.

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    • Yeah, I have had one night stands during my late teens and early 20s. Didn't do much for me.

  • get help soon

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    • Why do you say that? I'm not a psychopathic rapist or murderer.

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