He says he's "not into" kissing. But is he really just not into me?

I've been dating a guy for about 3 months now. We get along great and have a super time together.

Only problem is, he doesn't kiss me... we never, ever kiss. We only kissed in the very beginning on our 3rd date when things progressed (the kiss wasn't very good but in my experience the first kiss is usually awkward and then gets better and better with time). He says he just isn't a kisser - that it doesn't do it for him. He says he prefers to go down on me which he does all the time. I love that he does that, but I really long for the physical connection that only kissing brings. I feel like he is trying to avoid this level of intimacy.

He has made it very clear he cares about me. It is also very obvious that the way he shows he cares for me is through listening to me and learning about me. He's a mental lover if that makes any sense. He has told me several times that he prefers me to open up to him about things that bother me because it makes him feel like he is contributing to our relationship.

One thing he does love kissing is my cheek and will do it over and over again for a minute. He also finds reasons to touch me here and there (no big sexual thing but at least it's something).

Although it is clear he cares for me deeply, I am starting to wonder if I am dangerously close to the Friend Zone...

Thanks, guys!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah maybe he doesn't know how, but if he is closer to your age how could he not? That cheek thing is weird, kinda awkward, lol. I don't know about this one, I love kissing and I think most people do. I could make out for hours when I like someone! But, just because I don't get it doesn't mean it is not a thing. Yes, some people do consider it more intimate than anything sexual. If so, he should want that intimacy too. Can you really deal with this for the long term though? I have made excuses and tried to be okay with things with men that I just really would not be happy with for long.

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    • Great response. I appreciate the feedback! No, I don't believe I could live with it. Kissing is such a necessary bonding experience for me. I don't think I could live without kissing my partner. It's almost like he was traumatized or something - and yes, that cheek thing certainly IS weird. I like it when he's being cute but it definitely does not replace kissing and I am not that into it to begin with, so...

What Guys Said 2

  • He just dont know how to kiss. Noob that's afraid of beeing honest with you. But on other hand, (me for example), I dont feel like kissing is something necessery to relationship, but I still would go for it with the girl I like.

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  • Maybe he is scared of rejection. If he takes it further and you reject him it didn't commit so much. Ask him and tell your feelings

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What Girls Said 3

  • He's probably into you but maybe you have bad breath? I don't mean to be rude but oral hygiene is something that is really important. I've had a lot of friends complain about a member of the opposite sex and how bad their breath was.

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  • Being asexual is a thing.

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  • It really does sound like he's into you, but is simply not much of a kisser. I'd take his word for it.

    You said that the first kiss wasn't the best... Maybe he doesn't know how to kiss that well, and so it doesn't feel the best to him? Or, again, he could just not be into kissing in general.

    Does he know how much you like/long for kissing? I would talk to him about it.

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    • I agree that I should talk to him about it - I just don't know where to start! How does a girl tell a guy what she needs in this way? I want him to hear me rather than a false message.

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    • That's a great idea! Thank you so much!

    • No problem! Good luck with everything!

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