Guys, Do guys prefer girls make the first move or do it themselves?

I've been debating asking out my crush. But every time I ask guys out I get rejected but I'm also afraid he won't make the first move if I don't. My friend thinks I should just go for it but I'm scared too. He told me "a lot of guys want girls to make the first move" and I don't know what to think. Let me know

  • I like the girl to make the first move and ask me out
    82% (90)
  • I want to be the one to ask her out
    18% (20)
And you are? I'm a GuyGirls can not vote on this poll

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38

Most Helpful Guy

  • I like to be the leader, so I'll ask her out. BUT if she asks me out, then my respect for her goes through the roof and I almost have to say yes because of how impressed I would be.

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What Guys Said 37

  • AS a shy guy i prefer girls to take the first move but once they do im all over it. But if i get an oppurtunity ill make the first move

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  • It's pretty much an internal panic for a lot of guys trying to talk to women while knowing they have 1-2 minutes to get her interested in him enough to continue the conversation, let alone even get enough courage to approach her. So it's a VERY welcome change of pace for us if the woman does it, makes everything more smoother and us more comfortable.

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  • "a lot of guys want girls to make the first move"
    True statement.

    Yes, I'd prefer a girl do it.

    That said, there's some more commentary I feel is necessary.

    The position I hold is that most people, whether guy or girl, would really *like* this veto power (usually held by girls). At the same time everyone *should* be exercising initiative (typically guys are stuck here). This way we all get to enjoy the benefits of both and more things will happen. Guy's would certainly enjoy some veto but traditionally we're *forced to adapt* to initiating, few guys actually enjoy initiating. Comparatively, I think girls generally have a smoother (or at least neutral) experience initiating, but many feel the initial shell shock and retreat back to their veto power, prematurely deciding that it's harder for girls.

    If a guy says "a lot of guys want girls to make the first move," a lot of girls seem to go immediately to the opposite. As in, the girls will jump to the conclusion that they are saying that it should be girls asking guys out *all the time* and seem to get a little offended. I don't know if they deliberately set up this straw-man to distort the discussion but what we're really saying is yes, we would like girls to make the first move, but that doesn't mean we think it's fair for us to stop.

    As I've suggested, the dynamics can be changed in a way other than just reversing them.

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  • Most guys EXPECT to HAVE to make the first move. Some guys ENJOY being the pursuer, and taking charge (these are the confident guys who are generally good at getting girls). Most guys don't have nearly as much confidence and are usually THANKFUL for girls who make the first move.

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  • Just approach your crush, think about it. You could be going out already if you stopped wasting time

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  • "I like the girl to make the first move and ask me out" because unless she's a rated 4/10 or just has bad hygiene it's a 99.9% chance that she won't be getting rejected.

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  • That really depends on the guy. If the guy is shy then he would prefer the woman makes the first move and I think guys really appreciate it when a woman makes the first move.

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  • I actually enjoy making the first move, even though I get rejected nearly every time. But it would be nice, at least once in a while, for the girl to make the first move.

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  • Think of it this way. Guys are 100%more receptive to advances made by a woman than vise versa

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  • takes the edge off... who doesn't like that?

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  • Of course I'd like the girl to make the first move, all of this pressure and double standards of the man having to make the first move really gets on my nerves I think we should all have a fair share in making our first moves both female and male.

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  • Why give the first move to a gender? Whoever does it first. But I voted A because I'm too shy.

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  • I don't mind if she pursues me, but I would definitely prefer to be the pursuer.

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  • I'd certainly prefer that she made the first move.

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  • It's a nice move and i appreciate it when girls do it, but get to know him slowly, don't just ask him out directly.

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  • We get rejected all the time. It's just part of the game. You have to understand you'll be rejected, and once you do... Asking someone out becomes much easier.

    I'm not saying expect to fail, I'm simply saying not to expect. Hope. But don't expect.

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  • When a girl makes the first move its an unexpected surprise. I quite enjoy it. It makes me feel like she knows what she wants.

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  • I said I like the girls to ask if she is interested. The problem is the asker doesn't always know the other person's circumstances which can be a problem if you don't give a yes or no answer.

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  • I wouldn't mind if she did as long as I liked her too

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  • I think somebody has to make the first move no matter if it's the guy or the girl.

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  • I would girls make the first move

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  • I automatically assume girls I'm interested in are not likely to reciprocate from experience, so I've stopped making a move. No point continuing to make a losing bet.

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  • i like both ideas.

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  • I'm too shy to make the first move...

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  • I don't prefer either as a norm, but I'm shy so it would help lol

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  • Id be flaterred if she made a move on me. Either way I wouldn't mind.

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  • I've never gone after a woman. I always let them make the first move.

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  • Yup. I prefer gals to make that move for a change, but that's not happening much.

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  • I expect to be the one to do it, but if it happens, great!

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  • I would be flattered if a girl asked me out. I would feel so proud of her.

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