I've been debating asking out my crush. But every time I ask guys out I get rejected but I'm also afraid he won't make the first move if I don't. My friend thinks I should just go for it but I'm scared too. He told me "a lot of guys want girls to make the first move" and I don't know what to think. Let me know
I like the girl to make the first move and ask me out
I want to be the one to ask her out
And you are? I'm a GuyGirls can not vote on this poll
It's pretty much an internal panic for a lot of guys trying to talk to women while knowing they have 1-2 minutes to get her interested in him enough to continue the conversation, let alone even get enough courage to approach her. So it's a VERY welcome change of pace for us if the woman does it, makes everything more smoother and us more comfortable.
"a lot of guys want girls to make the first move" True statement.
Yes, I'd prefer a girl do it.
That said, there's some more commentary I feel is necessary.
The position I hold is that most people, whether guy or girl, would really *like* this veto power (usually held by girls). At the same time everyone *should* be exercising initiative (typically guys are stuck here). This way we all get to enjoy the benefits of both and more things will happen. Guy's would certainly enjoy some veto but traditionally we're *forced to adapt* to initiating, few guys actually enjoy initiating. Comparatively, I think girls generally have a smoother (or at least neutral) experience initiating, but many feel the initial shell shock and retreat back to their veto power, prematurely deciding that it's harder for girls.
If a guy says "a lot of guys want girls to make the first move," a lot of girls seem to go immediately to the opposite. As in, the girls will jump to the conclusion that they are saying that it should be girls asking guys out *all the time* and seem to get a little offended. I don't know if they deliberately set up this straw-man to distort the discussion but what we're really saying is yes, we would like girls to make the first move, but that doesn't mean we think it's fair for us to stop.
As I've suggested, the dynamics can be changed in a way other than just reversing them.
Most guys EXPECT to HAVE to make the first move. Some guys ENJOY being the pursuer, and taking charge (these are the confident guys who are generally good at getting girls). Most guys don't have nearly as much confidence and are usually THANKFUL for girls who make the first move.
Of course I'd like the girl to make the first move, all of this pressure and double standards of the man having to make the first move really gets on my nerves I think we should all have a fair share in making our first moves both female and male.