He lied to me in the beginning, what should I do?

A couple weeks ago my new boyfriend told me that a few of his mates would be home from Australia and he was spending the day with them. Anyway it's been a couple of weeks since then and I was bored so went on to fb. Facebook obviously suggests friends and this one girl came up so I had a look at her profile cause my be is a mutual friend. And there he is tagged in her photo from that day and it's just the two of them.

He gave me the impression that a few friends were coming home and that they were boys. I feeling a little betrayed tbh and I don't know whether to say this to him. We were only dating about 3 weeks then so I don't know if I have a right. I was cheated on so honesty is a big deal for me. And it feels like he was being sneaky about it.

What at would you make of it?

  • Confront him about it
    94% (16)75% (9)86% (25)Vote
  • Don't say anything let this one slip
    0% (0)8% (1)3% (1)Vote
  • Other
    6% (1)17% (2)11% (3)Vote
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Updates:
The girl that he was with has since gone back to Australia if he would have told me that it was a girl I probably wouldn't have cared. He has planned a trip for my bday and is talking about our future plans. So I woke up even more confused because if I bring this up it could be the end of us,
I've ended the realtionship he said he didn't do anything wrong and he didn't tell because he knew it would upset me. He said he swears he didn't do anything other than be her friend and because we were on, y dating 3 weeks he didn't want to ruin things with me. But the fact he kept the pics of his own timeline even tho he is tagged on her page shows me he was hiding them. So I really can't trust him even if he said he didn't do anything it's ruined. Thanks for your comments everyone.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would confront. Honestly his behavior is not cool. Its always a bad sign to start a relationship with lies.

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    • Yeah it's after leaving me a bit throw. He knew from our first date that I was cheated on because he spent months asking me out and told me that he only has good intentions towards me so I gave him a chance. If he would have told me it was a girl and him I probably wouldn't minded but he just gave me a total different impression of who he was hanging out with.

    • Thats exactly my point. I never lie to my wife. Its not just because i love and respect her, its a matter of principal. So when i tell her that i am going to see my lesbian friends (no joke) She understands its because one of them managed to screw her computer up, and they always call me to fix because i dont charge them in to the poor house.

      I always make it a point to explain everything in as truthful a way as possible unless i am attempting to surprise her.

      Example, I bought her an engagement ring. I made payments on it in secret. she thought because i was sneaking arround i was cheating, so not the case i dont do that. When i had a chance to give it to her, i was like "Remember all of that sneaking around i have been doing?" She is like "yeah" with a dirty look. Out comes her plate of food and sticking out of her piece of pie is the ring, and i say "This is why" and the rest you can guess it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • The fact that he felt the need to lie shows he knows his actions are inappropriate. I'd confront him about it.
    You are only a few weeks in this relationship, leave if you cannot trust him.
    He isn't giving you reason to.

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    • Yeah I really didn't expect it and I just stumbled across the pic so he wouldn't have told me. He is so great but now I feel a bit of an idiot because I'm thinking he was pulling the wool over my eyes. I'll definitely bring it up with me. At the moment it's pretty much over I won't be able to trust him and I'll be worrying about what he's doing.

What Guys Said 4

  • I say no matter what confront him. It's a matter of how you do so that may come back to bite you or maybe not. Here's all I'm saying,... And I do understand the part where you've been cheated on and all of what he said and so forth! OK? But believe it or not, some guys (although honestly, not as many as would lead you to believe) do know some girls that they are purely in a platonic relationship (i. e. friendship) with! Even some cute looking ones! So giving him the benefit of the doubt, consider this. He goes to meet up with his friends, just as he told you, and may have had every intention of doing!

    So the next thing he knows more friends and friends of friends start to pile onto the "party" and everyone is simply haveing a (non-cheating) good time! Does he even think twice when and if more friends stop by or whatever, probably not, just having some normal fun, more than expected. So if he considers this girl a friend, and nothing more, then he would be hard-pressed to keep track of worrying about walking on egg-shells to be sure nothing might come across as improper! He either allowed, asked for or in some way allowed the picture to be taken and posted somewhere that you could easily see it! He's either incredibly stupid or just didn't see it as what it looks like to you because such a thought never crossed his mind!

    Now, I, of course, believe your story about how you happened across the image on Facebook (wink, wink, nod, nod!) OK, only you know that, but dishonestly rarely begets honesty. No matter if it's possible to get caught or not. So consider that anything else is none of my business!

    I'm simply saying that that's is not unrealistic. So, don't approach him and say, "So did you have fun? Well then WHAT'S THIS?" *holding up a copy of the picture!* You want honesty, right? Then be honest. If you did do a little "snooping", tell him, and you have the perfect excuse, you're trying to learn to trust someone fully once again! If you found them as described then the same thing goes, but just tell him and explain that you were spooked, and what's up with the pretty girl in pic (s)? Were there many girls there? Don't start throwing accusations around, just let him fill in the blanks and if he just gives short answers ask him to tell you more.

    If he's going to lie, he's going to lie no matter what you say or do, so there's no way around that. And try not to play the victim, or you'll be playing mind-games w/him! That's not-cool!

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    • Be honest for your the sake of your own mind, if you are thinking there is a chance that you might be wrong or want to stick around for whatever reason! because it will wreck any chances of anything at all if you have your own lies and questionably his forever circling around your heads! IOW, tell him the truth or just give up instead of asking him anything! Torture victims often beg for "ending it", don't voluntarily place yourself in that position, with regards to your relationship!

      And clearly you have trust issues, I understand, but you may be letting them cloud your better judgement. Absolutely confront him, but just don't forget that everyone (obviously) seems like they're cheating on you a little bit right now! Just keep it in mind, that's all.

  • Maybe she is one of the "mates", you might have just assumed they were guys? But it's also very possible he lied and is seeing both of you at the same time. I would confront him but nicely just ask about it, don't like "attack" him (yelling and screaming) and assume he's a lair and a cheater yet. Just say you came across this photo and you're curious. If he gets all defensive and angry (overreacts) then he's probably seeing both of you at the same time, otherwise if you're asking nicely and not in a pushy way then he'll just explain it, no big deal.

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    • She was over from Australia and has since gone home but I want to know has he done anything with her. If he would have told me it was him and her and I probably wouldn't have gotten annoyed. But it feels like he is after being sneaky.

  • You should confront him about it

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  • Sounds a bit shady but maybe he knew it would upset u

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What Girls Said 7

  • Think about it, you guys have just started dating and he's already telling a major lie? It's one thing to lie about liking something or not liking something because maybe they're are just trying to impress you but to lie about who your going to be with and where your going to be? Thats a major no NO and to make matters worse its a pic of him and a female? Do not let this be swepped under the carpet confront him and for whatever reason of you accept his sorry excuse then let him know from here on out lying is not something that's tolerated by you and that you are looking for an honest relationship let him know that of he's not sure about where he wants to be then the door is open for him to leave

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  • I would quitely walk out cuz I am not dealing with nonsense! Girl please! lol

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  • Does he know you've been cheated on?

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    • Yeah we actually talked about on our first date so he knows I have trust issues.

    • Try to explain to him again that you have trust issues and tell him you want him to be 100% honest with you from now on or it's over. He did that knowing what you've been through so he was completely out of line.

  • Confront him and hastily dump him. He is a POS there is no excuse. It won't get any better, if you stay out will only hurt worse the next time he does it. Cut your losses and run

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  • Ask him about it, why did he feel the need to lie? Maybe he thought that it would bother you. He knew you'd see those pics eventually in such a easy place like Facebook so he obviously didn't see a problem with it. Just tell him he is completely out of line and should have been out straight with you.

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  • BE STRONG confront that bitch

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  • He was definitely bring sneaky about it maybe he knew you would be upset if it was just him and other girl that's a friend. No excuse either he should have just been honest. You should bring it up casually.

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