Do educated guys really care if the girl they marry/seriously date is also as educated as they are?

I used to think they do.

But now I feel they just want a nice girl who would make a good wife and a good mother.

Her education level doesn't matter that much. Like it would be realistic for an engineer to marry a teacher.

It does confuse me though because if one person is working a very demanding/tiring job, (like if one' s a lawyer), and the other is working a very easy-going, but fulfilling job (like a photographer), they could definitely get married but wouldn't there be a lack of connection between the two.

The photographer would always be unhappy that the lawyer is working long hours and it would feel empty to her.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Everyone is different.

    Personally, I'm a lawyer, and my wife is an accountant. Prior to getting married and even meeting my wife, I would date "artists" or "artistic types" - "free spirits" (if you will).

    I'm not quite sure if it was some creepy paternalistic impulse inside me to want to be their "daddy" or caretaker and provider, as if that would solidify somehow my identity as a "man." I'm not sure if I enjoyed the feeling of having a "partner," or the feeling I was enjoying was almost being "charitable," "giving," "helping," "superior," "stronger," etc.

    Either way, I had a choice to make... do I basically want a quickly depreciating sex toy to be my lifelong partner and the mother of my children, or do I want a genuine partner in life? Do I really want to be the only one who knows what it means to bust my ass at work? Do I really want to be living with the fear of my whole family being out on the street if my boss forgets to take his meds? Do I really want to have another person that's "dependent" on me living with me, but for who I can't even claim as a "dependent" on my tax return? Do I really want to find myself in a situation where (because of the financial power disparity) my wife uses sex to try to balance/equalize the playing field?

    So, after a few "artists," I realized a few things.

    1. A vagina is a vagina is a vagina. Once you've had one, you've had them all.
    2. Looks fade, even after just 3 months.
    3. Looks get boring, even after the 3rd time you have sex.
    4. Sex gets boring... sad, depressing, but true.
    5. The relationship and journey that's between two people is what keeps the sex interesting... not the looks, or the dirty talk, or the role play of Broadway's "Hamilton."

    So, I made the choice to find someone who was just as hard working, educated, and high-earning as me. I didn't want a pet or a dependent. I wanted an equal and a true partner throughout life.

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    • Can I ask you something blatantly before replying in further detail?

      Do you respect your wife?

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    • None of those careers are remotely interesting, and I'm not sure what school you went to to train for your accounting designation but it's a well-known fact that most 19-20 year olds who pursue careers like investment banking hate it. I don't even think it's for the money entirely that people do it, because there are a lot of other ways to make money. It's for the prestige; that tag that makes you feel you're better than other people.

      I would be in a different place in my life had I not chosen to go to fucking business school and I'm well aware of that. Happier, and a lot more ambitious (the irony).

      It's really funny how you think yourself superior to others. You're a jerk. You've got (debatable given your age) money right now, but nothing else.

      Just another corporate fool who thinks they've got something because that's what corporate robots are trained to believe: the pricey education and the horrendous careers that they devote their lives to are so worth it.

      What a joke.

    • Well, I hope all that venting has at least been therapeutic. Hopefully you feel less miserable and better.

Most Helpful Girl

  • photography is not a very easy going job. it takes s lot of skill and can be very stressful.

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What Guys Said 18

  • No and I think most guys would agree.

    I'd say being wise can be attractive.
    Being intelligent can be attractive.
    But those aren't the same as educated, which I don't care about.

    There's physical attractiveness for sexual interest, and then everything else about the relationship comes down to compatible personality (which also helps with sexual interest) and not being a psycho bitch that would set me on fire while I sleep as punishment for not realizing I said something she found annoying.

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  • When I was doing my masters, I knew it was the moment to look around for a good girl.
    We found each other <3 .

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  • Well i didn't care much in the past but these days education means a job which is something i need in a future wife at least for the first few years, also its nice to have an educated wife, if you make lots of money education is not really that important but its nice.

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  • I care if she is intelligent and can hold my interest but I'm not into lawyers or business women.

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  • No, but I would insist on an IQ that was in the same range as my own. I would not want to create inferior children.

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  • Some don't care at all, since they don't need help making the necessary money for their life. The thing is people are more open to find true love than to get good partners.

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  • Men don't care at all about your education.

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  • I don't believe same education level is required. But I want someone that can keep up with me in conversation. It's one of many reasons I married my wife.

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  • What matters is the level of intelligence not the level of education. Their level of intelligence must be close to equal otherwise one will lose respect for the other. Believe me that respect is what holds a marriage together not the job

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  • Intelligence is more important to me than formal education.

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  • You can't generalize like that...

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  • it would be nice.

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  • College degrees are overrated...

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  • EDUCATE URSELF SISTA MORE POWA TO YA

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  • I don't really care about what job my wife would have as long as she enjoys it and puts serious effort into it. You never really know if her photographs may be paying the bills one day. The two happiest marriages I've ever seen was between a physicist and a former math teacher (now she's just a stay at home mom) and an ex football player/ceo and... Um... I don't think she's ever had a job other than just helping manage their personal funds. But with that being said I also know a couple who work as a owner/CEO and owner/CFO of the same company (a fairly major company that's growing substantially and often works on government contracts) and they too have a happy marriage. So it doesn't really matter what a person does in my opinion. However none of these couples have a major gap in intelligence. They may have a different number of degrees and substantially different job titles but it's not due to intelligence levels.

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  • no. i care for a good heart. can find a good woman.

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  • I actually don't care anymore what the girls background is. She can be a nuclear scientist or a secretary. I all want to see is that older style femininity, it was so attractive in women, wtf, happened to those sweet girls?

    I don't see why a lawyer and a photographer would not match up. I know many couples like that. Personally i'd only commit to a girl i loved and who had more of a mothering instinct and wanted kids more than her career.

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  • not at all

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What Girls Said 1

  • No they don't care as long as the girls is pretty, smart and confident.

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