Basically we split up. A year ago. Six months on he'd told me he kept our Facebook messages (even although we weren't together) because sometimes he liked to read over the good parts of our relationship. I wanted him to delete them back then because there wee loads of toxic messages in there too.
Its been a whole year now? And a whole year where he's been mostly angry towards me and hurtful. We're not even friends on Facebook, and the final straw for me was him getting a love bite from a stranger after a whole year of us being broken up. And me finding out by seeing the mark on his neck.
I mean, that's it for me. There's no going back now even if I want to. At the same time, I'd feel better knowing he deleted our past history on Facebook since, it's history after all. It's no longer relevant.
Is it unreasonable of me to ask that he does this? I want to text him and see what he says. Perhaps he's deleted them by now, but I wanna make sure. Our whole dating history is held within those messages.
1. After one year, why would you still be entertaining the possibility of going back to a failed relationship.
2. You have an obligation to yourself to do what helps you to move on from this experience and you have no obligation to do anything for him. He has an obligation to do whatever helps him and no obligation to you. Why would you expect him to care about your request to delete the messages?
I think it is unreasonable for you to ask that. Those were messages traded between you and him willingly. They are as much yours as they are his. He has all the right to keep them if he wants, or just to leave it there. (Why would you even delete a convo on facebook? it doesn't run out of space and it's private anyway...)
And what is wrong with liking the good parts? Everyone has their memories, and just because you are not together now, he was once happy (I guess?), or even if he was angry, he may still want to keep it.
Old memories are a part of his life. No reason that he should have to delete them. And there is certainly no reason for you to be upset that he has a love bite from someone else so long after you broke up. Sounds like you have some issues.
I voted it is weird of you to ask, yet you could ask if you want. This is always a problem with shared histories, ugrmph. If you are not even friends, why does it bother you whether he deletes the messages or not? Even if history is no longer relevant (hard to say for sure), that is no reason to just wipe it out and forget it. There are reasons for keeping histories, even bad ones. Is it really for you decide what memories he should keep? Again, I ask why it matters to you so much?
That's something that's out of your control and it is honestly weird and unreasonable. I mean the relationship was both of yours, so he can move on from it however he wants to, while you've done the same. Asking for him to delete it seems like you want to gain some more control over the relationship and seems like you're going out of your way to let him know that you're over him a year later, which sounds like you really aren't over him.
Best way to show him you don't care is to genuinely not care. It won't affect you and is out of your control. What's done is done, it's in the past. Contacting him will bring some of that stuff back.
He can do what he wants its none of your business anymore. You broke up! For all you know he already deleted it. If he's bothering you then block him. The fact that you're so concerned about what he's doing proves that you're definitely not over him.