Me and my significant other usually have jokey arguments that lead into cuddling and kissing. I'm madly in love. If he ever hits me its usually on the bum as a joke, but today he kicked me 'as a joke' It hurt a lot so I punched him in the balls. Then without warning he full on punched me in my shoulder twice. I didn't let him see it hurt me and walked off and started crying. Its only been five hours and there is bruising all over my shoulder. He told me 'I didn't even get hit in the balls, I just wanted an excuse to hit you haha' Is this OK? Im getting quite worried. I have PTSD and extreme violence can set it off, in today a case of a flashback. Please help me.
- No way. This is abuse, leave him ASAP.52% (13)75% (9)59% (22)Vote
- This is not right but he probably won't do it again.28% (7)25% (3)27% (10)Vote
- It was just a joke, calm down.8% (2)0% (0)5% (2)Vote
- Its okay, but be wary.12% (3)0% (0)9% (3)Vote
- Its completely fine you're being silly0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
Most Helpful Guy
Is this okay? NO!
Was it okay for you to hit him in the balls (or try to)? NO!
Was it okay for him to kick you? NO!
Now, you didn't say if the "kick" was a serious kind of kick or if he kind of poked at you playfully with his foot. If the former, then that's abuse. If the latter, then you greatly over-reacted by trying to hit him in the balls, which could have led to him over-reacting by punching your shoulder.
Anyway, this whole thing seems unhealthy. My advice is: sit him down, tell him how you feel, acknowledge that you were wrong to hit and so was he, and that you won't do it again, and if HE does it again, your relationship is over.
While I'm *tempted* to tell you to break up now, I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt THIS ONE TIME because he doesn't sound like he was legitimately trying to hurt you (that doesn't make it acceptable, though). But after today there can be NO MORE second chances - PERIOD.0
Most Helpful Girl
His response to your bruises will say it all really :/
It's very wrong to hit a girl to that hard that it bruises her, that is way past a joke :/
A jokey punch is a playful push, not a whack :/1