Is it okay for your fiancee to full on punch you? Even if it's 'just a joke' Is this abuse?

Me and my significant other usually have jokey arguments that lead into cuddling and kissing. I'm madly in love. If he ever hits me its usually on the bum as a joke, but today he kicked me 'as a joke' It hurt a lot so I punched him in the balls. Then without warning he full on punched me in my shoulder twice. I didn't let him see it hurt me and walked off and started crying. Its only been five hours and there is bruising all over my shoulder. He told me 'I didn't even get hit in the balls, I just wanted an excuse to hit you haha' Is this OK? Im getting quite worried. I have PTSD and extreme violence can set it off, in today a case of a flashback. Please help me.

  • No way. This is abuse, leave him ASAP.
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  • This is not right but he probably won't do it again.
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  • It was just a joke, calm down.
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  • Its okay, but be wary.
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  • Its completely fine you're being silly
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Is this okay? NO!

    Was it okay for you to hit him in the balls (or try to)? NO!

    Was it okay for him to kick you? NO!

    Now, you didn't say if the "kick" was a serious kind of kick or if he kind of poked at you playfully with his foot. If the former, then that's abuse. If the latter, then you greatly over-reacted by trying to hit him in the balls, which could have led to him over-reacting by punching your shoulder.

    Anyway, this whole thing seems unhealthy. My advice is: sit him down, tell him how you feel, acknowledge that you were wrong to hit and so was he, and that you won't do it again, and if HE does it again, your relationship is over.

    While I'm *tempted* to tell you to break up now, I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt THIS ONE TIME because he doesn't sound like he was legitimately trying to hurt you (that doesn't make it acceptable, though). But after today there can be NO MORE second chances - PERIOD.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • His response to your bruises will say it all really :/
    It's very wrong to hit a girl to that hard that it bruises her, that is way past a joke :/
    A jokey punch is a playful push, not a whack :/

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What Guys Said 6

  • You need to tell him exactly what you feel. Tell him that although he might have thought it was a joke, the kicking and hitting hurt you and that if he does it again, you will have to report him for abuse and break up with him.

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    • Im not sure as to how I can talk to him? I can tell yu his reaction 'It was just a joke babe' And hell probsbly get pissy at me.

    • If you tell him that it actually hurt and that it wasn't funny even if he meant it as a joke, and he gets pissy instead of appologizing, he might not be the type of guy you want to be with.

  • Not only no, but hell no (can i say hell?) Get away from him quickly it can get worse very quickly.

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  • tell him to never it again and you should be fine

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  • Get out of it he will do it again.. A wow to think u guys where playing,, What goin to happen when he, s pissed?,.. Get out of it

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  • Run. Don't walk away.

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  • Well you both need to stop with the hitting as a joke cause someone will always take it to far and look what happened. Course he should never hit you that hard twice no matter what but you both need to stop it.

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What Girls Said 7

  • This is horribly abusive/toxic. Think about what he said. He hit you SIMPLY BECAUSE HE WANTED TO. Who the ever loving fuck does that? Oh right, abusive people.

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  • I would run the fuck out.

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  • You should probably talk with him seriously about this issue. Tell him that even if it was a joke, you don't want to be punched or kicked or anything like that. If he continues, then you break up with him.

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  • Be careful.

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  • If you guys were playing it's not abuse, but if you didn't like it tell him

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  • Honestly I would talk to him and tell him, then show him your shoulder

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  • No, it's not ok, you should leave him.

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