Why don't I have a bf?

i think that i look pretty fine. You know, flawless skin, nice hair, nice butt. Athletic, workout at least 3 times a week, watch my diet. But guys are just wouldn't come to me. But i am not really sociable , i only talk to my close friends and never really have the urge to talk to stranger (girls and guys), so people usually talk to me first. And i have seen that many girls which are really mean, and rude, and annoying, and less attractive than me have a boyfriend. Please let me know what is wrong with me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are not approachable. You might have a resting bitch face that makes it intimidating for guys.

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    • yeah, my dad usually tells me that i have a resting bitch face, but i seriously have nothing to interested in and, yeah... everyday is just like period days, i get upset and get bored really quickly.

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    • well, normally if i don't like that guy, im gonna say that i had a boyfriend, even if i do like him, i can't go out because my parents won't let me.

    • Thanks for the MHO!

What Guys Said 16

  • Two things come into my thoughts. The first is that really beautiful ladies get overlooked because guys assume they must be taken. The second thing is that, if you are not very sociable, then guys just aren't going to find out you're single and available. That is what you have to work on. Becoming more chatty and approachable. Not easy, sometimes!

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    • when i was in high school, there's one time that my best friend told me that his friend likes me, and he said that his friend doesn't want me to know because that guy thought that i only like senior hotties. what is that really mean, if you were him, what was your though about me?

    • All I can think of that he assumed you were so attractive that you would only go for older guys with more experience, who know how to treat a lady.

  • You just said it "I'm not really sociable". That's the problem. If you don't put yourself out there, you're not gonna get guys to approach.
    If you look like you don't welcome guys to talk to you, they're gonna stay away.
    Go out more, and work on your body language.

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    • how can i work on my body language?

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    • well, thanks, i'll never know if you didn't tell me all about that. I usually crossing my arms and have a resting bitch face a lot.

    • Yeah, try not to cross your arms, it's like a barrier. About the resting bitch face... I have that too, and it sucks, so there's really not much you can do, unless you find a facial expression that makes you less "bitchy-looking".

  • there are few reasons this happens :

    1- they think you're out of their league.
    2- you give the "iam not interested" or "i have a bf" vibe which we usually look for before approaching girls.
    3- you dont go to the right places or not there at the right time
    4- you're not as good looking as you think you are.
    5- you dont show any signs to any guy, and we look for signs its rare for a guy to approach a girl just cause she's attractive, many girls are attractive we approach those who show ineterest in us.

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    • P. s: i am not the most experienced in the world but i dated before, had gfs and i get to see and sometimes talk to stunning girls, and almost always these girls show signs of interest in me but they are taken 99.9% of the time i have never seen an attractive girl (8+) who's single.

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    • yeah, if anyone stares at me deep into my eyes from distant, they're creepy, and i dont wanna be creepy.

    • not if its someone you like

  • Think of it statistically. If only 1% of the guys you meet are single and are guys you would date and also guys who would date you, then you need to meet at least 100 to find the one. So either find a way to increase the % of suitable guys (i. e. maybe get on the offensive a bit or take a leap of faith with online dating or something?) or find a way to increase the total amount of guys you meet. Not being very sociable probably doesn't help much with that though. You don't have to force yourself to change and become more sociable if you don't want to.

    I suggest finding a hobby, maybe join some clubs / groups related to things you like so you can meet more like-minded people. A buddy of mine met his girlfriend through a gaming forum, as unbelievable as that may sound. They both noticed each others posts every now and again, at some point started PMing each other and eventually met up. That's probably not a very likely scenario for most people though :D

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  • You probably accident turn guys away because to me it seems you appear disinterested. Maybe try and actively engage in conversation with guys you like twirl your hair you know girl stuff. It's not that it's supposed to be sexy or anything it's just most us guys are pretty stupid when it comes to all the girls hints. We need obvious

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    • what if i was talking to my friends and then turn my back to them to take a quick look at you?

    • No haha it honestly takes conversation like I said we don't notice hints no matter how many you throw we are never sure. A long stare could do it but I mean long and usally that more awkward than conversation especially if the feeling isn't mutual

  • You probably come across as uninterested/unapproachable.

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    • You need to work on that. Force it if you have to, just make sure it doesn't look like a fake laugh (laughing with only the mouth, not the eyes), because that's worse than not laughing at all. Also raise your eyebrows or nod when you find something interesting or agree. If a girl doesn't smile at all during a conversation it's easy to think she wants you to go away.

    • well, i laugh hard when i think that you're gross and cheesy in the middle of the conversation, so i think that guys sometimes got the wrong idea.

  • You're probably unapproachable. I also get a serious whiff of vanity. Try to smile and tone it down a bit.

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    • thanks, i get it now why my headteacher call me stupid... that bitch...

  • Why wait for someone to come to you and then complain online why you don't have a boyfriend. You should approach guys and take the initiative otherwise you will be single forever.

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  • Nothing. Maybe the opportunity hasn't presented itself. Get on tinder?

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  • Have you ever had a boyfriend?

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    • ummmm, i rejected them... so ummm... no, i've never had a boyfriend... you know the feeling of seeing nobody good enough for you or those boys are not your type. Im 17 not 23 by the way, got trouble with creating my account.

  • Everything has a time and place. It will happen, don't worry much.

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  • You don't come across like you are opened to being approached.

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  • You probably haven't made enough if an effort.

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  • Getting a relationship is all about connections and/or how social you are. I've also never had a girlfriend and that's because I'm not social at all.

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  • Need to know way more but it could be your personality. Why? ? I don't know. Ask guys out, be more friendly and talk to more people.

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What Girls Said 8

  • There isn't anything wrong with you, guys tend to be drawn to girls who are outgoing and who are easy to talk to, maybe you give off a stand offish vibe because you are shy and they feel they cannot approach you. But this is not the case for all males some really do like the shy and quiet ones to. Do you go to bars or pubs much they tend to be really good places to meet guys (not nightclubs) or possibly get your friends to introduce you to some new people. A lot of people meet there boyfriends through other people. I don't think you should go out of your way to meet someone but if you really do want a boyfriend have you looked into online dating?

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    • I don't drink alcohol with extra calories, and i've tried online dating once, it was horrible, guys on the internet are just creepy.

    • Yeah they really are, I would never try online dating the idea of it makes me uncomfortable.

  • It is not the right time. Why do you want a bf? Relationships are sometimes demanding, you have to be able to share your time and affection with someone with a diff personality. You have to communicate, sometimes he will annoy you, you will have doubts, breaks, jealous moments. So are you ready to be in a relationship? Do you have what it takes to maintain a healthy one? Will it involve sex? Will the sex be protected or not? Will you both get tested before sex, or when you chose to go unprotected? Will you go on the pill, which pill will you go on?
    What happens if it does not work, do you have good coping methods to dust yourself off and try again?

    A beautiful woman like yourself needs to be careful, men loves to have sex with us without any long term commitment. It really is a mutha***ker getting hurt.
    I will advice that you determine what it is you want in a man or relationship, be less standoffish and more approachable. Go to places you will meet guys that you deem boyfriend material. Most of all, do not be afraid to walk away if it is not fulfilling the things you want from a relationship; because you lose yourself trying to keep a man that is not all into you.

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  • Sure you could be the whole package to some guy out there.. But you are not social.. Which is the issue

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  • "But i am not really sociable , i only talk to my close friends and never really have the urge to talk to stranger"
    That's why. You don't make yourself available.

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  • Try talking to guys! Or at least smiling in their direction! Guys seem to go through a bitch stage, like girl go through a bad boy stage. It doesn't usually last too long.

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  • Guys are probably intimidated by you. The fact that you don't talk to them makes them think they have no chance.

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  • your gonna need to approach people other wise you might end up 40 and single

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  • Well you can't just sit around and expect to have a line up of men. From the sounds of it, you don't make an effort to date. You only talk to your friends and no one else. They aren't just going to come to your house and ask you out.

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