How to overcome age barrier in dating?

I've been seeing this guy for over a month now. I'm 21 and he's 27, we have many things in common but he is obviously more mature than me. I really like him and he says that he feels the same way but we can feel that there is an age barrier between us, especially when it comes to communicating virtually (text messages, chatting) like there's nothing to talk about, or he sometimes comes off as distant.

Communicating is a lot better when we're together, although I notice that he doesn't open up that easily. It's as if I need to warm him up or give him a drink before he loosens up. He told me that he usually has second thoughts about sharing because I might not understand (since I'm younger and all) I really like him and I am open to adapt his way of thinking, Can we work through this? How?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • you're not that much younger than him? Seems to me its more of an ego than maturity. Age barriers only occur when one of you thinks the other is incapable of reaching their level of maturity, which may be the case sometimes, but here i highly doubt it. It looks as if he thinks just because he's older that he's more mature. And that's immature to treat you like that just because of your age. you're both in your 20's and usually the "age barrier" ends at 18 because you're adults. Seems he hasn't quite grasped that yet.

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    • IKR? This answer is spot-on. Thank you for all the answers, guys! Helped a lot. We broke it off by the way (turns out, he was asking another girl out. She's 18 btw) lol what a dbag

What Guys Said 7

  • I haven't read the replies so hopefully I'm not repeating someone else. It seems like he doesn't respect you as much as you give him credit for. There is hardly an age gap here. 6 years? You make it seem like he is twice your age when he isn't.

    The age difference doesn't seem to be an issue here but more along the lines of you two don't have the same interests or don't have a lot in common. You don't have to be twins here to make it work. I would just take interest in the things he's interested in, but make damn sure he takes interest in your hobbies and life as well. And go from there, you'd be surprised how this little change could change the whole dynamic of your relationship.

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  • 6 years is certainly not grounds for any kind of 'age barrier'. Maybe you two just aren't compatible.

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    • The age difference isn't really that big but he is way more matured than me

  • First of all 6 years isn't much of a big age difference.
    5-6 years of age difference is normal, so u should take this off mind.
    Second thing is 'communication', men are goal oriented people, u gotta tell us straight what you want, that's most important in any relationship.
    Talk to him and sort out things..

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  • If you truly feel the both of you are happy.. do not worry about the age gap.. after all it is only a number.. the same as a license plate is on a car.. neither means nothing really.. have a great day

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  • Interesting, 21-27 is not an age barrier at all to me

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  • Not easy to talk to not good... Bone up on the things he likes to talk about... Age has noting to do with you getting together better,, you are only 5 years difference... ...

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  • that's not really a significant age gap to worry about.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You can't you just have to deal with it

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  • If you are both willing to put some effort, then I am sure that you can work through it. All it takes is communication. Maybe you should ask him what he likes to talk about and suggest topics that you're sort of knowledgeable too. Or you can ask his opinion/view on things you know nothing about.

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