My boyfriend lied to me like it was easy. I have so much more that I want to let out and say to him, Is it worth it?

Yesterday I approached my boyfriend (ex now) with an issue that has been bothering me for awhile. Just a little background on us – we’re both in our late 20’s and have been together for 4 years. I’ve had a feeling that my boyfriend has been in communication with one of his female co-workers for about 3-4 weeks now. I know that he goes out with his co-workers from time to time, but I just had a feeling that he’s been texting this one female co-worker a lot. I’ve asked him a lot of questions this past 2 weeks to try to get a sense of how frequently this communication is, but he hasn’t answered truthfully. So last week we get something to eat and she texted him. He left his phone in the car because we were listening to music on his phone and he went inside to pick up our carry out order. I saw her name pop up and took a mental note of that because I knew I was going to bring up this subject pretty soon. I have the password to his phone, but I don’t snoop in his phone. So this feeling I have grew stronger over this past weekend, and I finally approached him about it yesterday over the phone. I asked him if he was in communication with her this past weekend, and his answer was no, and I also told him that I saw that she texted last week when we were getting something to eat, and his response was that he didn’t respond to her, which is a lie. So yesterday while on the phone, I asked him to take a screenshot of his text messages from Saturday, and I told him to promise me that he wouldn’t delete anything. Before he sent the screenshot, I already knew that he was texting her yesterday. So he promised that he wouldn’t delete anything, and of course, their text conversation didn’t appear in the screen shot, which means he deleted it. So I took drastic measures because I knew I was being lied to and it hurts so bad. I told him that I was going to come see him after he got off work so we can review his phone records. I can't fit all the details here. Please review the rest below.

Updates:
He had no clue that you could pull phone records online through your phone company. He agreed, because he didn’t know that that was possible and of course he deleted everything. He then called me back and said that I have to trust him and that he refuses to have my snoop through his phone because that’s just going to cause spiral effect of not having trust in our relationship. He stressed that I have to trust him and that if I’m still requesting this information, then basically our relationship
is over because he knows I’m not going to want to continue without finding out if he’s lying or not. I told him that I could easily access his phone records to see if he’s lying without him there. So after about an hour of going back and forth, I got off the phone and told him that I can’t be in a relationship with someone I can’t trust. BUT, after we got off the phone I just wanted to show him how hurt I was for him lying to me and that he really tried to make me feel dumb by accessing

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Be in a relationship that you can work things out.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well if he didn't bother to try to patch things up, phone records are really excessive IT WOULD be much easier if he just admitted it and I think you should tell him that you just want the truth, it'll be an easier process so unless he just wants to make the situation more complicated its in his best interest if he wants to make it work, to be honest. Find the deeper underlying issue of why he communicates with her so regularly, is it because he's bored? Feels lonely? etc.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Don't look back on it or him young Lady. Without trust in a relationship you have nothing

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  • Not worth it. Look forward instead.

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  • Ur being to smothering. Yesbhe shouldn't have lied but he hadn't done any thing with this girl. except text her.

    It might be cheating emotionally but think about how this lead up.

    Was it hiM you or both

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What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds like he doesn't look from your perspective at all and he has no sympathy for your feelings. Tell him exactly how you feel one time. Help him understand your feelings. If he refuses, it's done. You can't deal with someone who doesn't think about your feeling and doesn't want to do this small favor to bring your thoughts at peace. Besides, I think he sounds extremely sketchy.

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