What is it that makes you uncomfortable with dating?

What is it that makes you uncomfortable with dating?Many of the users have responded to other questions with general statements about being afraid of dating. We're all different in some ways and we all have our own hopes, dreams, and desires. . . and our own fears. Please tell me, and please be specific with your answers: what is it about dating that scares you?

  • I'm afraid I'll run out of things to talk about
    20% (19)27% (12)22% (31)Vote
  • I'm afraid that the other person will reject me
    26% (25)22% (10)25% (35)Vote
  • I'm afraid the other person will want sex too soon
    16% (15)2% (1)11% (16)Vote
  • I'm afraid that the other person will think I am boring
    13% (12)24% (11)16% (23)Vote
  • I'm afraid that the other person will think I am not attractive
    16% (15)13% (6)15% (21)Vote
  • I'm afraid that the other person will want to get serious too quickly
    5% (5)7% (3)6% (8)Vote
  • I'm afraid that the other person will tell others unflattering things about me
    4% (4)5% (2)5% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • E all the way. It's not exactly a blessing to be this tall and trying to date, when most guys have a preference for shorter women. I've had guys tell me I was not attractive because I was too tall, among other asshole-ish comments. I got over it eventually.

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    • I had a woman refuse a first date with me because I am 2" shorter than her. I am 5' 9" and she is 5' 11". I saw pictures of her and I thought she was beautiful. My current girlfriend is short; she says her height is 4' 11 3/4". It sounds like a kid saying, "I'll be 14 1/2 in five months."

    • Women like that are the ones who make it hard for all tall women. Sure, short guys and tall women kind of got the short end of the stick in terms of dating, but beggars can't be choosers. She was being ridiculous and that kind of attitude is what makes men eventually overlook tall women (even if she is still shorter than him).

What Girls Said 25

  • Can I pick every single option? Lol. In a way I am afraid of all of those things. Maybe not if they think I am attractive, if they already met me before the date then I am guessing we are out because they are attracted. But, I guess mostly running out of things to talk about because I am a little shy. I used to be a lot worse and I am becoming the person that talks too much when nervous, haha. But I am still bad at initiating conversation sometimes. Also, I would worry that they would tell unflattering things after it didn't work out, but that would be horrible to do if you were dating.

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    • Same here worried about wrongING about things to talk abiut

  • If I'm dating or considering dating someone, I don't think I'd be scared of any of the options listed in your poll. Of course I'd have the insecurities of myself being 'too tall' and such but alas, not much I can do about that one.

    If I let myself get to the stage of 'dating', I'd imagine that I'd already feel pretty secure in all of those, like what we want from the relationship, how into each other we are, etc.. My biggest fear when dating or in a relationship with someone would be dishonesty. That they'd lie to me about who they're hanging out with (like another girl).

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  • I have ny been afraid of rushing into something im not prepared for. people have so many different ideas of what dating means, so you're never sure what it is you're agreeing to when you say yo want to date. s for gong on a date nothing. thats no big deal. i just dont like eating ot.

    as far as se of course i wouldn't want to do that before im ready but i simply would not. so thats not a fear just a rule.

    i think if communication is good there's nothing to fear. i think when people fear things its bc they are not are what is going on or what is expected or what is heard.

    i think in cases of mutual respect and solid communication no one would fear. But that kind of dating would need emerge out of friendship and i think few people have the patience to be friends with someone they are attracted to. its the only way id do it. i could never date a stranger. i not date till im in love. otherwise i dont feel the impetus. there's nothing i want that i can't get in a friendship if im not in love.

    a lot of the fears you mention sound like doubts about the quality of character in the other pen. with decent people even if things dont work they dont tear you apart.

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  • That they will lead me on, aka not be clear with what they want. I hate wondering what's their deal.

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  • i think i'm pretty good on paper, but i have so many hang-ups lol. i can't really imagine someone being patient enough to deal with all of my crap. also, there are so many beautiful women out there. i'm not sure i could keep a guy's attention from wandering... and that's what guys do. they may not physically cheat, but their eyes will wander, right? bleh. i guess... i want someone who will be devoted to me, but i think that's probably an unrealistic expectation. so i'd rather just... not date, not get disappointed. also... I don't know. i'm not that good of a person lmao. sure, i'm not murdering people left and right, but i get frustrated really easily, de-motivated, possessive, super stubborn, judgmental, not very transparent with my feelings except when it comes to anger, etc. i would not want to be with me. so i have no right to expect someone would want to be with me.

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    • not unrealistic SquishY, bold that you don't want to settle

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    • @iFarted LOL like a poltergeist!!! :p

    • Ohhh, you freaky.
      Poltergeist it is! ;P

  • I'm not afraid of dating. But if you think about it... you agree to date someone and like... you could be signing up to be with that person for the rest of your life. And if it doesn't work out, you're agreeing to not be friends with them forever.

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  • I'm afraid I can't fall in love. Besides that, nothing about dating really scares me. Maybe he will change his mind or he will be a hapless romantic, a yup, and I won't be anything special, just something to obsess over.

    Those are my ultimate fears regarding love.

    Dating isn't really scary. Love is.

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    • "he will be a hapless romantic, a yup, and I won't be anything special, just something to obsess over. "

      @vishna , if a guy is a romantic sort of person, really into being romantic, wouldn't that make you feel special? Couldn't it be that the reason he is feeling really romantic is because he thinks you are really special to him, after all?

      I'm just confused about that. I've heard that before as dating advice but didn't really understand. If you could explain that would be cool :)

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    • @TheSkaFish Dude, I might ramble. :) I think establishing self confidence and truly respecting yourself and your partner is the best and first step. I was hurt a lot in the past because the first guy I loved, rushed into another relationship, had sex, (told me these things) and fell in love within like a month or two. But before, he was always kissing the ground I walked on, and it was a first relationship, so, I felt pretty special. Then if we stopped talking, he would go kiss the ground someone else stood on soon after. I mean, it's complicated. But I think respect and confidence are key and also thinking "Is this desperate and/or sincere?"
      Again, I love my super sweet and romantic boyfriend because he's sincere... and consistent, haha. :)

    • @TheSkaFish Make sure that what you do for your partner is done by your appreciation for them as an individual and not simply because you are trying to "buy" their interest or affections by giving them things or doing things for them. Give yourself some limits and make sure you don't do anything "over the top", like sending a dozen red roses after the first date.

  • None... I am not afraid of dating :)
    Currently dating and enjoying myself. It's actually a lot of fun!

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  • Several reasons for me: I have social anxiety to the point where every time I've started dating someone I've thrown up out of sheer nerves (lost 10 pounds when I started dating my first ex because I couldn't eat for a week), I have terrible self esteem and I'm scared of hurting things because of it, I'm afraid they'll get bored with me, I'm afraid of someone seeing me how I see myself, the guys I see around me are generally morally repulsive to me (partying, being fuckboys, insensitive, etc.) so I'm afraid of thinking he's a decent person and being wrong, and for whatever reason I have problems showing affection (even though I definitely feel it)

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  • B, D and E.

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  • Afraid of being led on and thrown out like a piece of trash.

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    • Which i still wouldn't regret trying though which makes no sense because id basically eillingly get hurt but it seems worth it

  • I kinda of don't care. Even if I started dating I would be full defense. Like what the fuck do you want! I am better off just making friends!

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  • I think everyone has a fear when it comes to meeting new people, it does not necessarily mean that they are afraid of dating.

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  • I am not afraid of it. I would just rather be in a steady relationship.

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  • Pretty much all of the above.

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  • I was just afraid of things getting to serious. It scared me a lot. I'm happy in my relationship right now and that fear has been eradicated with my boyfriend, but he's a different story.

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  • Lies, l am afraid the relationship started on lies, and false hop

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  • Maybe that I've never done it before!

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    • If I can give you some advice @livehappy...
      Start dating now (I suppose your old enough) while your still a bit younger. I waited to long and now I know nothing about dating and girls 😞... (you saw my question earlier and know what problems I experience)
      Except in your case it will be the other way around

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    • Thanks and good luck to you 2... 😉👍

    • Yeah I can, but I find it very difficult because I have been very antisocial my whole life, so I struggle to talk to strangers never mind a girl on a date haha 😞...
      But it has been approving a bit though.

  • Its actually less to do with any of these things and more to do with me both finding the other person interesting enough/having any interest etc.

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    • Both should say not

    • So, for you, dating does not involve fear/anxiety but it more about being disappointed?

    • Yeah, more about being disappointed. I rarely ever go on a date feeling nervous or anything else. Why should I? It's not gonna matter one hundred years from now. There's always greater risk of me meeting a person and them 'just not doing it for me' kinda thing. Which is a shame, I find it pretty hard to find someone I actually like.

  • a blind date? there is always a potential for danger or weirdness.

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  • Vote H = Nothing makes me uncomfortable = This is my life :P

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  • that's the person doesn't to be in a relationship fast

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  • My biggest fear of it all is that someone I'm head over heels for will drop me like I'm nothing for a shallow reason, and not think twice about it.

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  • I have a boyfriend now but he's my second boyfriend in my whole life and I'm 21. The first relationship lasted a month. I'm afraid of committing myself to the wrong person and finding out way down the road that they weren't as serious as I was or finding someone who is better for me. I don't want to waste my time or give everything I have to someone and have it not be enough.

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  • Let's keep it simple: I'm a potato its hard to find non taken male potatoes.

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What Guys Said 17

  • Actually I have an issue with the finding some one to date. I am (apparently) very picky so I don't feel much of anything until I get to know the person which means its hard to find some one to ask out to begin with. Thats what I hate about it.

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  • nothing, I'm all open for dating. to me, dating is the equivalent to hanging out.

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  • Crappy expectations... oh and Valentine's day. :)

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  • Umm yeah...
    I'm 17years and I've only been on 4 dates my entire life :( yeah I know it’s sad !!
    I'm a huge armature in dating and girls, so to me just seeing her for the first time on the date makes me uncomfortable as hell. I'm from smart to stupid in 0.00000001 second’s
    But from the options above, these make me the most uncomfortable.
    I'm afraid I'll run out of things to talk about !!
    I'm afraid that the other person will reject me !!
    I'm afraid that the other person will think I am boring !!
    I'm afraid that the other person will think I am not attractive !!
    I'm afraid that the other person will tell others unflattering things about me !!

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  • I'm not uncomfortable with dating, in fact I'm definitely for it. It has been less challenging for me to find girls to make friends with, not go out or hang out with them just be friends, I'm so indecisive as to who could have I pick out of all of them to date and be in a relationship, and if they want that from me too. Is tough to find someone that could be on the same page as you. I'm generally a cool, calm collected, mild mannered and positive all around.. I feel like I can always do work for me but I feel my personality is not a problem.. everyone is on the go, move move and there is no time for anyone a lot of the time, everyone is so busy or at least pretend to be.. it's tough to date because of that. I'm not hideous I have normal looks but I don't consider myself super attractive but depending on my day or how I'm feeling at the moment determines how I see me. Anyway I don't lose hope and I don't close the door on any girl I know that I like. That's were I'm at now

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  • A, B, D, E, and G as well as a few other things.

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  • i´m not "afraid" of anything. just annoyed. cause most times, if i end up liking her, she doesn´t like me and if i dislike her, she starts having more interest for me xD

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  • rejection, nothing much to talk about, controlling (from her), over extravagant places ($200 tabs)...

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  • It's A) and D)

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  • Not to be big headed, but I believe I can date anytime I want, I am just taking a break from getting cheated on and minupulated. #Niceguyproblems

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  • afraid of being ran out of things to talk about

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  • Mind games; unwritten rules that people are expected to know; women who do not say what they mean, or mean what they say.

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  • I voted E. I have many flaws and sometimes I overthink things; I imagine getting called out about one of my flaws that bothers me and that she'll be un attracted to me for it.

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  • they're losers

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  • I am afraid of actually succeeding and getting a second date or worse a relationship. Dating is the easy part; you pay a bill to hang around talk for someone who is mildly interested in you.

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  • I'm terrified that she will reject me for having a small penis.

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    • I'm moving forward, though. About to have our fourth date tomorrow.

  • Well rejection makes me doubt my ability and desirability.

    I've had girlfirends in the past, but they've asked me out.

    What really irks me is the fact that I never get the girl I want. Of all the crushes I've ever had and asked out, I had no success and this really makes me mad. I never get the girl...

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    • you'll get the girl you want if you pursue the one you want

    • @BertMacklinFBI Dude that's not true. I have went for the girls I wanted and I didn't even get a single date/chance. I think I'm going to start giving girls I don't exactly want chances if not I will die alone

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