I feel guilty for breaking this guy's heart.. Now that I found someone to love... Should I feel guilty?

This guy and I had a "thing" for maybe a month; we go to the same college. We never had sex, just other intimate things and hung out every day. Then I cut our ties because I just realized he wasn't the one. I suggested friendship, and he eventually agreed but that didn't work out because he kept expecting more. He would hope I would catch feelings and be with him all the time, so I recently told him we can't hang out anymore. He was also getting kinda love-crazy... His behavior was spooking me out and it was becoming obsessive. I know he still has feelings for me. He texts me at night sometimes, saying to tell him he has no chance (even tho I have) and that he loves me. He walks by my room all the time and makes noises. He follows me sometimes. I met someone else, and I really haven't felt this excited over a guy before in my life. He's 26. We both like each other so far and everything is going smoothly. However, I feel guilty... I broke this guy's heart and now I'm going off falling for another guy who is also falling for me. Should I feel guilty? I don't know how to feel about this. I feel like karma will f me over or something.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • These things happen, and you haven't done anything wrong.
    It's kind of a nice sign that you feel guilty, just because it shows you care about others feelings and your not just a bitch with no empathy.
    But as I said before, you haven't done anything wring

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What Guys Said 18

  • You have done nothing wrong. You were upfront with guy #1 and that's all he can ask and expect. I'd suggest you block him on all your communication channels and tell him that the next time you hear or see him you'll be forced to call the police and make a stalking complaint. Then move on to guy #2 with a clear conscience.

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  • no. it happens. it's part of relationships. i mean it's normal to feel bad, you have to pretty cold hearted not to feel bad when you hurt someone emotionally but i don't think you should feel guilty.

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  • If there is guilt, it is because you know deep down that you have not done right by the first man.

    Since you are not married to either man, and as long as sex is not involved, there is no literal violation of Matthew 5:32. Yet, if you feel in your heart that you've got something to atone for, then avoid the man you've hurt for a time.

    When you do run into him again, assuming you ever do, you can tell him what you've been doing with your life and who you've been with since then.

    Immediately after that, confide with him in secret that you feel bad about what you did to him, that you feel it was unfair. That you wish you could make it up to him. But that you're not gonna leave your new man, if he tries to get you to do that. (Otherwise, don't mention it.)

    As long as he is reasonable and not vindictive still, he will probably forgive you on the spot. If he's an ass about it, walk away. You've done your part. The ball is now in his court.

    Don't ignore a guilty conscience, nor rationalize it, as others on here like madhatters4 are telling you to do. However, don't obsess in your worry either. That too will lead you to make horrible mistakes.

    I knew it was for the best I parted ways with Annamae. But it tore me apart inside. I loved her, and she loved me. But I knew she'd never be happy with me, so I let her go. She found another, and they are happy. And I'm happy for her.

    I got my karma too. I won't name their actual names here, but rest assured: one of those gals, her mere image brings me shame to know I ever knew her. And the other fills me with resentment at the mention of her name. I could maybe forgive the one, but the other one can frankly go jump in a woodchipper.

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  • Overall, no. You shouldn't feel guilty. That's life. Guys (And Girls) usually tend to put all their eggs in one basket and when it doesn't work out, you get a 50/50 chance of things like how he acts happening. You'll feel bad though if you actually care about his feelings, that's unavoidable.

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  • Don't feel guilty, but understand where guy #1 is coming from.

    He feels really hurt and wanted you, so cut him a little bit of slack when he asks you for confirmation that you don't want him at all... he is trying to get over you.

    You should say Sorry to him, that you don't have feelings for him, and try to cut contact with him, don't message him, don't say hi, don't be his friend.

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    • Sadly I am someones "guy number one" right now :(

  • Yeah you should feel a little guilty because getting your heart broken sucks, but you have a life to live too and if you're not feeling a relationship anymore you owe it to both of you to end it.

    Trying to stay friends is not a good idea because seeing someone you had feelings for be with someone else sucks.

    He'll be okay eventually. I've been there, as most people have.

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  • Karma may get you if you feel guilty you feel regretful and that in itself is a sign that you may not want to forget him. But life is about making choices you learn from mistakes not the right choices well usually lol

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  • he can get over it. it was only a month. emotions go as quickly as they come and one day soon he will realize what you already have, that it wasn't meant to be.

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  • No. Its not that bad. you didn't cheat on him or anything. Dont have to feel guilty. After he stops seeing you for a while, he will Move on.

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  • It's happen you just have to get on with it and he in time should move on

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  • Goodness no, and he sounds like a creep.

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  • " We both like each other so far and everything is going smoothly. "

    classic creating problems where there are none.

    you think you should feel guilty because spooky guy lacks self control to act the part of a civilized ex fling. ignoring a guy who's chasing you normally emotes guilt. giving him numerous chances and outlets to realize you're not interested, just causes you to feel bad for this obsessed zombie that doesn't know better.

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  • You have to follow you're heart, no matter what.

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  • You have a "situation".

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  • Question.

    So you cut ties before meeting "the new guy" right?

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  • You feel guilty for feeling guilty not hurting him no woman has ever felt
    guilty rejecting a guy.

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  • Any decent person will feel bad when they hurt someone that cares about them. Evein though you didn't do anything wrong, you are a decent person and had to hurt him. That is why you feel guilty even though you did nothing wrong. Your feeling bad is a good sign. It means you aren't a heartless monster. So in that aspect, yes you should feel the way you do, but in time you should move past this feeling.

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  • Yea when you break someone's heart you karna will break yours..
    You should definitely feel guilty... And ashamed of yourself...
    Don't your feel like a bad person for doing all this?

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What Girls Said 5

  • Don't feel guilty, you haven't done anything wrong. It must suck for that guy, but It's all normal and a part of life. It's not like you were married to him. Wouldn't it be worse for both of you if you stayed with him because you wanted to spare him the pain of heart-break, even though your feelings have changed? It wouldn't be fair to both of you. Distance yourself immediately from that guy and enjoy your new relationship. Good luck!

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  • That you feel guilty is good in a way, it means you have a conscience. However, you shouldn't let that hold you back from being happy. I think it would be more unfair to your friend of you had continued the fling with him, eventually cheat on him or just be unhappy everytime. See if you can talk to your friend, express your concerns over his behavior. Try not to tell him about the new guy. Also try not to rush things with the new guy.

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  • Forgive yourself and move on

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  • Nah, you didn't do him wrong and it'll all work out. I felt really bad once for breaking it off with a guy who was crazy about me for a long time and he ended up married before me.

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