Need help with a decision about my gf?

Me and my girlfriend met two weeks ago. I recent bought a bus ticket to go out and see her. My grandpa just passed away. The funeral is this weekend the same weekend I'm was going to visit her. My dad asked if I was still going to see her. I said yes but he guilt tripped into saying I wasn't going. I told her couldn't make it and she freaked out and got mad. I don't blame her for doing so. If I don't go to see her I don't know when I can. It could be another month or so. I've told her I'm coming to see her. My dad said its my choice if I go to the funeral or see her. I don't know what to do. I really want to see her more the. Anything.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Funerals are for the living, not for the dead. You are not going just to honor your grandpa (your personal memory of him), you are going to honor your entire family and share this hard moment with them.

    If a girl is worth her salt, she would understand and encourage you to go, because she would out of affection for you, desire for you to act in the best way possible to maintain good relations with your family. To be happy.
    Obviously she is a self centered cunt.
    Based on that point alone you should go to grandpa's funeral and treat this relationship as a dispensable toy.

    If that's not enough for you, I can add that there is nothing more sleazy than disrespecting your family in such difficult times over the desire to make out with some girl you just met.

    If that is not enough for you, then add to that her blatant imposition on you. In short, in this relationship, she already wears the pants if you bend to her will whenever she throws a fit, because she threw a fit. Don't let her "freaking out" be your motivation for anything, or you may as well end this relationship right now.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well you have to make a decision, decisions can be tough.
    1. You could go to the funeral and fulfill your promise to your father and grandfather; both of them have always (assumption) been there and both of them would attend your funeral no matter what.
    2. You admitted that "I really want to see her more the. Anything." so maybe thats what you do. Maybe this girl is so important that our father and grandfather would understand.

    Consider both sides. You must make this decision.
    I will not tell you my opinion because this needs to come from your own heart and your own values.

    I hope you find your answer :)

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What Girls Said 6

  • Are you really going to put a girl you've been dating for two weeks above your grandfather whom you've known all your life? And if you told her why you can't make it, who is she to get angry at you? It's not you're fault your grandfather passed away (I send my condolences) and that the funeral happens to be the same weekend. I understand you really want to see her and the ticket is already bought. BUT. You're family needs you to be there to help keep each other strong. But you're thinking of not going to the funeral just to please her desire to see you? Family always comes first, if you go see her, you will feel just as guilty for not going during or after that weekend. And you're father, just may hang that over you're head for the rest of your life, which will of course cause you to feel even worse. Then also think about this: How would your grandfather feel? I'd imagine he'd feel a bit sad because his very own grandson chose a girl he's dated for two weeks over saying his final goodbyes. Think of your family, how would they view you after that. God forbid if you were to lose another close family member they probably wouldn't bother to persuade you or even inform you about the funeral cause you decided not to come. You have to make her understand you just lost someone and that your family needs you, SHE WILL BE OK. She won't die. GO TO THE FUNERAL. Bottom line, you'd be crushing you're family's heart if you didn't.

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  • Family over everything.. I disagree with your decision honestly. You guys have just met, but I'm sure your grandfather has had a pretty important impact on your life. What if you go and see this girl and it doesn't work out a month later and you missed out on this hugely important family gathering.. For nothing? Not to mention, I think you'll definitely put some strains on family relationships and be looked at a certain way if people knew you chose to go meet a girl you been with for TWO WEEKS over a family members funeral.

    If you told her it was for a family emergency she shouldn't have freaked out. If it's another month, it's another month. Oh well. And if your relationship can't withstand a month in order for you to be at a very important family function, then I honestly question how strong it is in the first place.

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  • Just tell your girlfriend to chill down!

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  • You gotta know your priorities but really I wouldn't put a girl I know for 2 weeks over such an important family event.. Never ever and if she fails to understand that I'd know where to put her..

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  • Tell her to calm herself down. Family will always come first no matter what! If she doesn't understand that you need to go to this funeral then... she isn't the one for you.

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  • Well first off family is first, they raised you and made you into the person you are. You girlfriend should understand that family should always be first. I would if something like that happened with my man! Family last a lifetime, girlfriends/ boyfriends come and go. My gparents are my life and I would never miss something like that!

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What Guys Said 4

  • i think you should go to your grandfather's funeral

    i understand that you haven't seen your girlfriend for a bit and you won't get to see her fora while afterwards but still a deceased member of your family takes precedent. your girlfriend while mad, and understandably so, needs to respect that sometimes things will have to come before her and admire that your family means so much to you

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  • I think you should go to the funeral, because that happens only once in a year I suppose, but you can go and meet your girlfriend on a regular basis and that will go on. I think you should really explain this to your girlfriend, it's surprising that she is not being understanding, I mean it's been only 2 weeks into your relationship and this is how she is behaving?

    It's not a good sign.

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  • I'd go to the funeral. It's only going to happen once.

    If she's acting like this 2 weeks into the relationship, imagine how insensitive she's going to get further down the track.

    If she really cared, she'd understand.

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  • Go see her. Your dead grandpa isn't going anywhere.

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