He cheated, I asked for space...I'm depressed and confused on how to handle this?

So I'm in college. I met a guy and things were great at first. We fell inlove. And he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and we dated for a week before he changed his mind and wanted to slow things down. Things rolled downhill from there. We were constantly having issues and constantly having to have talks and we've basically been on and off for about 6 months when it came to being a thing. Recently it has gotten worse. One day I noticed that he was acting different and so later that night I called one of my friends to come to my room because she seemed to know about his life. She broke the news and told me he has been hooking up with one of my friend's friends. I called him immediately and told him to never talk to me again. We didn't talk for a whole 24 hours and then he texted me asking to talk. I told him I think we should and we did. He explained that it was a one time thing and that he was drunk but other than that he really had nothing else to say. Of course me being a girl I got distracted by my feelings for him and got sucked into crying in his arms and hugging and kissing him when I know I shouldn't have. Eventually he left but right after he left I snapped out of it and asked him for some space over summer vacation. He agreed but then didn't really respect my space because he texted me two days later saying how empty he felt without talking to me. I fell for it and we started talking again and I then realized that I can't be around him for more than like a minute without being hurt by every little thing he does. So we got in a fight and the next morning I sent him a text saying I really need space and all that and he ignored it? Then I went to the dining hall at my school and he saw me and said hi to me? I'm so confused. I'm obviously inlove with him and just want things to be better. Yes he cheated on me but I honestly feel that if we give each other space over the summer it could work out next year? I need advice. why did he act like that?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Multiple cases of he doesn't respect you.
    He cheats on you... albeit you two were fighting so it wasn't going well anyway.
    You lay down a boundary that you need space and he disrespects it.

    Why did he cheat? maybe because the relationship wasn't going well and he acted out for cheap "drugs". Maybe because he wasn't committed

    Why did he stop by to talk? Because he hasn't let go either.

    You both really need counseling, but you probably don't have the $ for it. You need to cleanup your feelings about this guy and put them in order because you are drawn to him (probably not in a good way) but you are bad for each other it appears. I don't see this working out without counseling to figure out why you are attracted and what is going on emotionally, building some semblance of trust. Otherwise, I think you are just going to keep hurting each other. That is how this stuff works and why relationships are so hard. I'm working on a mytake on this subject of why... so watch for it. you just aren't seeing what is lying below the surface emotionally.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • From where I am sitting here, dear, it isd Obvious he is Not Ready Not Raring to be in any Real Relationship with you or Anyone under the Sun.
    He already had made it clear as well, that when he had Suddenly 'Changed his mind,' it was Also due to Not having you as his Steady Betty and this too Caused more problems when he so called 'Cheated,' I see it as he has no strings with you.
    No, I feel as long as he is Free, taking his own 'Space,' he will Continue to do as he wants as a Free bird with 'No Strings' attached. He has to Want to change and Show that he can be Loyal, this could take some work.
    Focus on you 'Over the summer,' and with what you have had in your own Heart from the Start, You deserve the Best from the Rest.
    Good luck. xx

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What Guys Said 12

  • Who knows and furthermore, who cares. You're a smart, empowered woman. To hell with him. There are a million fish in the sea. Go find someone that respects and appreciates you.

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  • It may have to be that you just tell him that if he can't or won't give you the space you asked for that it will just have to be a full on break up. He should have no problem in allowing you time to get your head around what has happened

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  • he fucked himself. do as you will lol

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  • I'm sorry for your pain. According to your writing, you guys shouldn't be together. He isn't loyal to you, however, you're still trying to make it work. You seem to be loyal yourself, so, my suggestion is you move on.

    You're in college. Save yourself the grief and pain of trying to make it work so that you can devote your time to what is more important; your college career.

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  • he act like that because he is a fucking loser doucheback.

    why is it that every sweet girl falls for the same type of loser? seriously.

    please erase this man from your life, your better off.

    now if you go back to him again and fell for him, your dumb. sorry

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  • End it. Trust is a requirement in any relationship and it's very hard to regain once it's lost.

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  • If you think a cheater ever truly loved you:
    "congratulations you played yourself"

    Leave him, learn from this experience and move on with your life.

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  • Leave the bastard,
    He cheated and shouldn't get another chance

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  • It's his own fault, break it off. He is not worth it.

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  • dumb his ass

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  • because he's a fuckboy, and if you don't get out of this situation now you're going to end up with a broken heart and in 5 years time shaking your head full of regrets, leave him behind there is a better man in your future I'm sure.

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  • You should have sex with another man, even if you don't really feel like it.

    Then talk to him about it and describe the experience in detail.

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What Girls Said 9

  • You said you wanted space, and he gave you space. Saying hello is him being a decent human being, without infringing on your 'space'. He's giving you exactly what you asked for, respecting your wishes, and trying to be decent all at the same time. And you are just confusing the poor guy by letting your emotions take you all over the map. Not sure what more you want from him.

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  • You obviously can't trust him and it's a bad cycle of being hurt when your around him. The relationship is toxic now and you should stick to your guns and take space during summer vacation. You might not even miss him and find someone new who makes you happy and confident in your relationship. I hope you stick it out.

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  • I can't handle cheaters! Whats to say he won't leave me?

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  • He sounds like a player. I'd run, but that's just me. I had one bs relationship and I will never do that crap again.

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  • Drop his flakey ass like the piece of shit he is

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  • I don't think u will get over this... How long ago was it? People who can get over it usually find they can accept it within 48 hours otherwise you will never really forgive him

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  • I have a good friend who's that happened to. The guy said he was drunk and that it would never happen again. Guess what, as soon as she took him back he kept playing his little games. AND that has happened to me before, too. The problem is, once they figure out they can get off the hook with the first time, they will keep it going. They don't change. So if you're okay with the possibility of him cheating on you again, and you going through the hurt again, then yes get some space and wait for a while to date again. Otherwise, move on to someone who will respect you!

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  • What? You sound sweet, and he sounds like a huge asshole.

    Just leave him. Life's too short to try and fix people like him. If he wanted to treat you good, he'd have started treating you good long ago. If he wanted to change, he'd have changed by now. He won't change. It won't get better with someone like him. Some people aren't worth the waste.

    You're better than that :)

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  • Dump him

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