Is this guy using me for sex?

I made the mistake of having sex with this guy the day we met and we've had sex every time we've hung out since then. He's my boyfriend now but I'm getting the impression that this is a hook up and not a relationship. He is conveniently busy every time I want to hang out and there's a possibility that we might not be able to have sex. When we do hang out we have sex the whole time with TV breaks in between. We don't go on dates and he usually leaves once the sex is done (sometimes within two hours). I've said something to him about it and he denied it and said he really liked me and asked why he would want to meet my parents if we were just hooking up but I feel like I'm being used. What do you think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe, maybe not. You need to make it clearer that it's important to you to have dates/time together without sex. It's great it be very sexually into your partner but if you aren't happy doing nothing together then you're not really going to have a healthy relationship.

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What Guys Said 12

  • look at it a different way, it isn' ta complete relationship and so it isn't satisfying. You are allowing yourself to be trampled all over and I think you're gonna learn a lesson. You've got a mess, which so many people these days get into, because if you dry to back off the drugs (sex), good chance you lose him. Trying to build a relationship on sand doesn't work. Building one on trust, respect, actually liking the person has a chance.

    I'd have a discussion, like at dinners, that you want a normal relationship where people get to know each other and have fun together. I didn't say bitch session, I said dialog. The physical stuff is backed off. I don't know if you can get away with none, so I'd say reduce it to some specific day. Ideally back it off to snuggling and such.

    Its gonna be hard and assume its gonna fail. If it works, its a miracle.

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  • Don't you think you're using him for sex?

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  • "I made the mistake of having sex with this guy the day we met and we've had sex every time we've hung out since then."

    I think you basically answered your own question. If you think its a mistake, then likely, it was.

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  • My relationship last two weeks has been mostly sex and walks and she left every day wouldn't spend the night. I felt used to then she dumps me and I kinda miss her company

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  • you're totally being used. You're being played right now. Ignore him from this moment and I guarantee you will find a guy who is worth it for you.

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  • doesn't get any clearer than that.

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  • yes he's just usin you for sex

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  • Well this is pretty obvious, isn't it?

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  • Having sex every time you hang out is not surprising.

    The lack of interest in doing anything else is an issue.

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  • Lucky bastard, his balls must be nice and drained.

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  • This really amuses me.

    Girls say, "It's my body!" then ask "But is it just being used? What should I do with my body?"

    It is as if you don't have the actual assertiveness and courage to take responsibility of "your body". smdh

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  • Oh hell yes he's just in this for the sex. Save the heartbreak and move on quickly.

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What Girls Said 15

  • Ask him to slow down. If you really are a booty call, then it'll be a problem. If he can go without sex for few weeks, hey maybe even a month without engaging in the same behavior, then maybe he's serious about wanting more than just your body. Of course, only cut him off within your means. No one likes to be sexually deprived but... to prove a point about a "relationship" it might be necessary. 

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    • An entire month seems a bit extreme, if that's the philosophy that she should just cut him off until he's desperate than she should just break up with him now.

    • @Benk111 Haha I know that's a bit extreme. A month is a lot if you go from only that to nothing. But asking her partner to slow down and focus on the friendship part of the relationship is what I meant. I had to do that with my partner too 'cause I feel like we were losing our fun side in all the lust.

  • Girl. Run from that dude ! Yesss. He is using you. Don't fall for those mind games of his. He's what we consider now a days " Fuck boy "
    Question?
    1. Have you met his parents?
    2. Have you hangout with his close friends?
    3. Does he text good morning or goodnight, or even if you ate something or need anything?
    4 . Do you always text him first?
    5. Have you gone out in public and hanged out for a whole day?

    If you know he does not do these things you pretty much are a easy sex target for him. Funny how once you confront him about it he's gunna be denying everything. Probably even saying you how busy he is blah blah.
    Please i been in your shoes.

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  • Well if you don't want have sex with him than don't.

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  • if u have to ask this question that ur unconscious mind already know's lol. Reading that i can say yeah he is a user and u shouldn't give him the time of day anymore.

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    • Then again I think you both are playing each other now that I reread it.

  • He a fuck boy.
    Test my statement by trying to get him to hand out with you casually. Once twice , thrice or more if needed.
    If the tries exceed a 10 , he a fuck boy. Get away from him.

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  • You know its true

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  • I think you shouldn't have sex with him again until you guys go on a proper date together in public

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  • First phrase says it all.
    Leave him NOW!!! If he truly cares for you he'll be sad and try to prove to you that's not the case. If you chose to stay with him, make him work for your body, he'll appreciate it more. You should be doing things other than just sex, your needs are important too

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  • OBVIOUSLY

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  • Stop having sex with him and see how long he sticks around. Why would you wanna be in a relationship with someone you just have sex with and never any chemistry? No dates? No talking about interests or life. That's beyond boring & I'd just have a friends with benefits before that

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  • Uh yes. He basically just said " why do I need to meet your parents if we are just hooking up"

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  • Well it seems that he is using you. Unless he is super super super super busy all day. Which I doubt. If he really liked you he would be with you and treating you like no other. Not only having sex.

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  • yessssssssssss

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  • Are you sure he's your boyfriend? This sounds like you're just hooking up. A relationship is when you spend time with each other and get to know each other. This clearly, is just a booty call for him, not a relationship. Both of you are on different pages.

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  • Unfortunately you are being used. Dump this jerk ASAP

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