I guess they're saying I should be a jerk. Is this the right?

I just got this girls number like 3 days ago. I really like her and it seems like she really likes me too. We have been talking on the phone and face to face for some time now. I want to keep her interested in me, so I want to talk about things she may like. I need some help on topic ideas to talk about. And is it bad to be eager to talk to the person you like? People have told me I shouldn't take her calls right away and only talk to her on week days, not the weekend. I guess they're saying I should be a jerk. Is this the right?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • well if you're playing hard to get you want to , when she texts or calls, wait like 10-15 min...10-15 min for a text response is a lonnnnggg time, think about it, texting someone and waiting for their response and then 10-15 min later you finally get one...then after she texts you again wait like a few min, not 10-15...just to show you're busy and have a life basically lol...not that you wouldn't if you responded right away, but still

    if you want her, then talk to her whenever man...if you think she likes you and you like her, why do you have to NOT talk to her on weekends...talk to her whenever, id tryt o keep it short if you're running out of things to talk about...

    now on the topic of things to talk about...find out what she does in her spare time...hobbies, interests, goals, fav food, stuff she likes and doesn't like...bond with her, make her feel comfortable and MAKE HER LAUGH, but I mean ti seems youve broken that barrier...girls love being with a guy who can make them laugh and feel special...when you find out what she's interested in or what she's good at make her feel great about it.

    ex:

    you "so what do you usually do on weekends?"

    her "i love playing soccer, the team and I went on this trip to ____ and blah blah blah"

    you "wow that's awesome, id love to come see you play sometime, I bet you're really good"

    her "hahah that's sweet of you, I have a game next weekend if you want to come you can :)"

    you "awesome, what time?"

    her "430 at ____"

    you "ok cool, ill see you around then"

    then after the game, wait for her to get all done, but say something to her on the field, before she goes to change..."hey thanks for inviting me up, I had a lot of fun watching you, you're the best player on the team by far" - that's the FEEL special part...the conversation above was just to set you up to make her feel good about herself...

    in the end make her feel special

    anyways just bring up stuff like school work, a teacher you hate, something interesting that happened to you, usually if you start a convo and you both can relate to the situation it'll just flow...if you find yourself getting into awkward situations then just simply say "alright well hey I gotta run, call me later" - that way you leave the ball in her court and she has the say of calling you later...now if she doesn't call you wait till the next day or 2 days after...you don't want to seem desperate like I said before...

    k I duno if this helps, I kinda went on a rant, GL!

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    • Wow man this was very helpful. Thanks. Hey, me and her were talking the other day and she said she want's me to teach her to play golf. Do you think that this would be a good first date?

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    • JYCC...now I said for him to wait just to not seem desperate...this doesn't mean every guy does this...i mean, sometimes people are busy, all the time...i know I am, when I had my girlfriend text me id always respond right away...now she's my ex and I don't always have my phone because I'm not always lookin out for her, if you will, thru text...ya know? I mean I stay busy so I just respond at a convienant time...hes probably just busy, if you liek him stay with it.

    • Thanks! =] yea I'm starting to figure him out and now he even emails me when he is working because he doesn't get reception, which means he is trying to get in contact with me eve if he is busy and I really appretiate that . And like you said everyone is different.

What Girls Said 1

  • Okay, seriously. What's the deal with these quasi-rules about "oh, you have to wait so long before you call her" or "don't text her right away" and all this? Just call her when you feel like it, and respond to her texts when you feel like it. As long as you're not doing it all day long, I consider it a positive thing to be contacted frequently - it shows that he cares and is thinking about me (as opposed to ignoring me, which makes me wonder if I should even bother. If he's not going to talk to me, he's not worth my time, right?).

    As far as topics, asking her about her childhood/favorite movies/activities are good conversation starters (her childhood being a particularly good one - most people have a good number of fond memories/funny stories that they're happy to share). Asking her questions shows that you care about her, and the answers you get give you material for future conversations and immediate discussion.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Not be a jerk, but don't make it seem like all you do is wait around for her phone calls. Use phone calls to set up face-to-face meetings (dates) only. Once on the date ask her questions about herself, girls usually love to talk. Ask followup questions to what she says, this demonstrates you're a good listener and keeps you from having to pick good topics for discussion.

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