Am I fucked as a shy guy?

I have everything, a job, friends, doing kinda good in college, family, but I haven't had a girlfriend in over two years and she was the one that asked me out!

I just want to share my time with a girl, but I haven't been able to. Being shy is really holding me back and even if a girl liked me she wouldn't show it cos it's not common. It's up to me but I thought I would've stopped being shy by now...

Am I finished?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Quit whining and do something about it, Jesus. Don't just sit around feeling bad for yourself if you're not even trying.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are not finished because you are going to change! If you don't change, then you have a big problem because girls are drawn to confidence and they generally don't approach guys nor are they good are pushing past our barriers. There are girls that like shy introverts, but it is a lot harder to connect.

    The other side of this is women are missing out on what you have to offer (intellect, humor, affection , time, etc..) because you aren't mature, confident and able to approach them like a man should be. They want a guy, but there you are hidden in the corner burried in your beer. What good is that? They are losing out because you aren't able to share yourself and lead.

    I was shy and introverted for a long time. You've got to get past that, evolve, heal, grow, and build your self confidence and esteem. Go to counseling and dig through what is causing this. You weren't designed or made this way, you were conditioned this way. FIX IT! Read the book Change your life in 7 days and do the exercises. there is much more you can do, but that's a start.

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    • I'n going to suffer so much if I try to approach random girls

    • Maybe we need to talk more. Why the fear, what are the feelings? You need to work on that stuff. It is junk from your childhood that is holding you back. It will warp your whole life unless you deal with it now... counseling should help. I have some things I did to break out of those fears, it is dooable. I've approached women 8" taller than me and very attractive without fear. There are simple mind tricks to get past this stuff.
      You may be right about suffering, but suffering is good! That is how you learn sometimes and how you grow. You have the wrong perspective on life, you are introverted, probably wounded from childhood, and none of that is how God made you to be.

What Girls Said 6

  • shy is a state of being!

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  • Sorry, brah: you're a beta. It's ok though. You can use it to your advantage. Ladies like to "help" or "fix" men. Your "in" might be shyness. Seek outgoing women... but they'll probably be controlling or aggressive. Hm. Just depends on the type of girl you want. Good luck!

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  • Lol your situation kinda sound like the guy used to like.. I asked him out on the date, coz he couldn't find the courage to do so, but I feel like he likes me. He was really sweet and all during the date. But then now he's texting me lesser and I don't know why... so now I have moved on.
    I guess if you really like a girl, you just have to step out of your shell and show it to her, or she might think you are not interested and move on.

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  • Some girls like shy guys. You aren't doomed. Just probably doomed to being the one to get asked out

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  • No! Wtf who told you that

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  • You're still very young I'm sure you'll get the hang of it eventually

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    • I don't know I'm in the same boat I'm 24 and haven't grown out of it

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    • @warrior0345 don't loose hope! I'm sure you'll find the one sooner or later. Maybe you just haven't looked at the right places yet

    • Well I don't know where to look I have no social life I never been to a party nothing from what I see women aren't even interested in me as a friend

What Guys Said 9

  • If you remain shy, then probably. However, from your description you seem to have a huge chance if you work on your shyness. Try to get out of your comfort zone more. Your shyness should diminish by time if you attempt to talk and meet more people. :)

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  • You're kinda fucked, but you can fix it by becoming more outgoing.

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  • you're at a disadvantage if you can't stomach the fear and talk to someone u really want to. if they're that desirable, then surely they should be worth the momentary anxiety

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  • Pretty much lol,

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  • Are you even a virgin? If not, you should book an appointment for some anxiety mesications that will work for your social anxiety.

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  • yes you are

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  • Just drive a Tesla. That's all the flirting you need to do.

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  • Pretty much, women hate shy guys more than anything else.

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  • It's hard to say. I'm in the exact same position as you and I've never had a girl. Hate to break it to you but I think guys like you and I are kinda fucked.

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    • But something can always pop up out of the blue so it's hard to tell.

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