Is it hard to talk/approach girls or is it just me?

[Anonymous]

This hits close to home. You see since I was a little fucker I had hard time being around opposite sex. How hard you say? Well I would start sweating buckets being around girls and often when time came to be part of a play or for a musical class to hold hands I would feel my chest tighten and my heart beating like it's about to blow. This has been haunting and taunting me my entire life, getting overly nervous around girls. I went truth most of high school life being "that guy in the back" I never existed to girls in high school and honestly I never cared. Only time I stopped to think and run things truth my head is seeing variety of couples form in high school, and I always wondered "how. what do I lack that they have?". See I'm not a jealous type and I got a backbone, so I'm not a spineless fish fillet.

For future career I'm working towards becoming a Realtor. And you may wonder, how? Your a bloody introvert. Well yes, however I'm also a Capricorn and ISTP-A so with that said I love them money, to spend on useless crap that will kill me like that CBR1000RR ;) so when it comes to being a Realtor I have no problem talking to both sexes. Then again, my personality makes me feel awkward talking about something I hold little knowledge for. Since I'm not a type you will ever see in a bar or a party, to some I may live or exist under a rock, and that's a fair assessment. Alternatively you may say that walking to girls in public is a ultimate testament of showing you're "a man", but realistically living in North America specifically Ontario, Canada I doubt that would be a wise choice. I'm originally from Europe and approaching girls in public there is rather normal, not here sadly. Here you will have either cops called on your ass or looked upon like some kind of perverted weirdo.

So then what would your verdict be? Is it me, or is it just society this days? And yeah I know some parts like being anxious are on me.

[SomeGuy37]

The short answer, yeah, it’s you. The upside: you can work it, and it is just another ‘problem’ that needs solving!!
I’m ISTP SQUARED, OK? Total nerd, in HS, but hated the ‘nerd guys’!!
The hardest part of ISTP is dealing with the ‘small minds’ that seem to be the majority of the population!!
Women: Talking to them is an issue, because you like them?
Practice with women you aren’t interested in!! Talk to the checker at the store, and people at your work, or church (if you are so oriented). Just talk with ones you AREN’T interested in, and get comfortable, and work on your ‘style’, make them laugh, or like you.
It’s all practice, and building your personal confidence!! Then you won’t be so afraid to talk to the ones you really like, and you already have a ‘style’, maybe joking, maybe ‘the smart guy’, or whatever you are comfortable with!
Don’t be a dck, or be disrespectful. That only works with ones with low self-esteem, or ‘issues’ and you probably don’t want that.
It takes time, practice, and be patient!!

[Asker]

Hell yeah. Nerd type but not a nerd enough to play Dungeons & Dragons or go to ComiCon lol. You got it bit wrong, I get nervous around woman when it comes to dating. I have no problem talking to woman just for the fucks of talking to someone. It's when I look to date someone I get bit paranoid with myself. For example, I go to this clinic for physio and there are 2 hot smoking Russian babes at front counter, never had problem talking with them and keeping and eye contact and getting them to smile back at me and shit.

Actually, fuck. I guess it may be just be being unable to talk to woman on online dating sites, lol.

[SomeGuy37]

More 'adapted' to society than most 'Nerds'!! Online is the real problem? If you can talk, and flirt, in person, WTF with online?

[Asker]

Who knows man. I often hit a roadblock online, start with small conversations and boom they fucking die out. I guess asking what people want to do with their lives or asking about pets and shit ain't the best way to go about online. I tried Tinder, but deemed it to be stupid in 14 minutes. Then again, Online Dating is for people who like them Ego Boosters coming and coming. I did manage to get a girlfriend from Online Dating, but now she is an EX. Problem wasn't communication truth, it was more being humane and reasonable in the relationship which she kind of fucked up. My ex never wanted to come visit me and I got fed up with always going to see her and shit, she expected me to come visit her when it was raining outside and at the time I only had a Motorcycle and no car, while she could have taken her parent's car. Eh, I really don't know the fuck is wrong me when it comes to girls.

[SomeGuy37]

Online dating is a JOKE!!! I've tried services, and get nothing but BAD MISMATCHES!! Even that one site that says they match you with all these criteria--total CRAP!! I HATE sports and traveling, yet they matched me about 75% of the time with women who loved travel and sports!!
WTF? After an hour, answering all their questions, paying, I get sht matches!!!
Online dating, dude, it isn't you at all!! Online dating is just crap!!! I've tried a lot of sites, and it is just bad, all around!! Then, when you meet them, they are like 50 pounds heavier than they say, and don't look at all like the picture!!
I'm not a 'pretty boy' and a little 'heavy', but I send an honest, real picture, because I don't have time to fck around with fakes, and I guess some were desperate enough, and I thought I was meeting someone else...
Not to mention how many lie about what they like, and interests!!
You are better off flirting with the Russian girls, seeing what it is!!

[Anonymous]

Lol little fuker, that's hilarious. Also I understand your fear you get some girls that if your not their type they'll call the cops on you and say your harassing them buts it's just something we have to deal with not everybody is going to be a positive and nice person.

[Anonymous]

Lol u sound like my boyfriend. His introverted capricorn and im an extroverted libra. We get on really well though, i guess we balance eachother out. He keeps to himself, and is pretty nerdy but i love him for it. He told me on our first date he was nervous as hell but to be honest he seemed SO confident to me and honestly thats one of the things that attracted me to him. Maybe you think you look nervous so you worry more but your not as bad as you think you are. If there's one thing I've learnt its FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. You live one life... you can be ANYONE you want to be.

[Anonymous]

Are you nervous around ALL girls or are you just nervous around girls you find attractive? Because then that's a whole different story..

[Asker]

It's a 50/50 really. I don't do well in big crowds since childhood, so I always hated to be in plays and shit. And back in high school art class when we had to dance with girls I felt bit awkward since I got the girls I liked :D. As mentioned already I go to this clinic for physio and there are 2 smoking hot Russian girls there at front desk, I can talk to them and keep eye contact and get them to smile back and all. I do find them attractive, but outside of that there is nothing. So I guess the problem is not with talking to "attractive girls" or fearing "rejection" it's probably talking to girls I actually "like" and possibly getting that "rejection"... Also as a girl please care to explain the difference to me?