I have found the man of my dreams. Sadly, I had to say goodbye. Now that I feel hurt, how can I let go and move on?

I was on a vacation for two weeks in Spain. I just arrived back yesterday. My heart is eating me out. I met a Spanish man there, and my vacation was a dream trip because of how passionate and affectionate he was. Everything was so perfect. I have never received as much love from any guy that I have dated before. I am a mother of two and I feel like I am losing my mind thinking that I won't find a guy like this again. He was hugging me and kissing me continuously in public and in private. He was finding every way possible to make me smile. Giving me body messages every night. Holding my hand and caressing me all the time. The sex was so darn good. Saying goodbye to him was painful. I am a 32 year old woman. I have dated so many men and broke up with so many men. I was married for six years and divorced my ex husband after years of misery. I feel dumb and stupid that after meeting this Spanish guy and spending less than two weeks with him, I feel torn and hurt. I have never met a man who offered me much affection and love like this guy did. I feel lonelier than how lonely I was before meeting him. I don't easily fall for any guy, and this time I fell so hard. Is it possible that I will meet someone who i will like as much as I like him? It is hard for me to move because I share my kids with my ex. He won't move either because he said that his life is established there.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You had an intense experience in a short period of time because of the pressure of having your time in Spain limited. Usually, when relationships develop that fast, the driving force is satisfying our own personal needs and not the kind of love that develops when you get to know someone very well. Those kind of relationships usually tend to fail because they are not founded on love. Unfortunately, the feelings that you get from the intense affair feel like love; they feel like the real thing, so it is very easy to confuse the two.

    Recognize that this experience taught you that your needs are very close to the surface and your potential for bonding is very much alive. I don't know your history of dating since your divorce but you should use this experience to motivate you to find someone who is more available to you.

    I suspect that this is not what you want to hear, but no one will have any magic for how to make a long distance relationship work under these circumstances. You can make plans to visit him again but the next time, it will probably feel different and you will not the same special connection. It is better to savor the memories that you have rather than trying to extend the relationship and having everything get tarnished.

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    • Oh thank you so much. Your words help a lot. I actually just texted him to ask him if he would consider having a serious relationship with me if I move to spain and he said that he won't because I have kids.

    • You are welcome. Good luck with moving forward.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I m glad he is honest with you about not wanting to date due to you having childten.

    It's not love. Enjoy what you had. It's not easy to move on. If it helps, no contact so u can move on.

    I too had an amazing, romantic man for almost two years.
    Candles, foot rub, back rub. Romantic dinners, extremely attentiv, domesticated lol, cooked, did dishes, laundry. Just took care of me and my children with every lititle thing. I too worry I won't find another guy as sweet and detailed oriented as him.
    He is still calling, I worry that I will be too weak and give in to him. Sigh...

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What Guys Said 4

  • Well... they Are passionate over there, i can tell you that. Then add the thrill of meeting someone new, new area, new culture, not to mention the "honeymoon" phase as well...
    don't beat yourself up, chances are, it would have dive-bombed like other relationships. I enjoy the honeymoon phase as well but i don't take a relationship too serious until it fades, then you get to see the person's true nature... and can decide if it could be a long term thing, or it has run its course.

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    • I experienced many honey moon phases before. It wasn't about that. He is affectionate and passionate in nature. It was easy to recognise that.

    • I honestly think its just the change, and you said you have been in honeymoon phases before, probably with people from the same country/area and now this one is from a different country and culture... got you hoping... that could be a strong additional factor.
      Even he knows it was just a thing... cmon, two weeks? i'd just take the memories.

  • I think it was kind of a fantasy that he gave you. In return for having sex with you he treated you like a princess for two weeks. He knew it was for a short time and that you would be well worth the effort. What more could a guy ask for. If this was for a longer period pf time, i can bet you my left nut that he wouldn't bee able to keep that up. At least not on a daily level. So , for a realistic, long term relationship, dont set your expectations that high, because reality can't match fantasy. For a short fling, sure. Now you can have a better relationship than your ex definitely. And dont feel like he used you either. You both got what you wanted. Also am not taking anything away from the guy either. To charm your pants off like that, he must have been a spectacular lover. Im just saying, the setting, th freedom, and the short time period heavily influenced how you felt.

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    • We both wanted it and we both enjoyed it. It is the passion that went along with it which affected me deeply. You know a lot of eye contact. Caressing me all the freaking time. I never had it that intense with any guy even in the honey moon phase.

    • Hmm, must have been a don juan

  • Well that depends on you how long it takes,, but get right back out there and find another.. this will help faster then anything else

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  • Somewhere there's a Spanish guy laughing over beer with his friends "So I banged ANOTHER American tourist and made her fall in love with me!"

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yes, you will meet someone again. Also, it was only two weeks you spent with this guy, the passion when meeting someone new and knowing you had limited time may have made the feelings seem stronger than they otherwise would be. It was only two weeks, call me pessimistic but you never know how you would feel a month or two into it or longer. Through experience and this site in particular there are so many times guys get scared off or disappear on women or cheat, etc. This is very pessimistic I know but you never know what more time would have done. It sounds like a fantasy situation but nothing that you should change your life for.

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  • Its just an act. He gave you good sex. Thats it.

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    • Girl, they are just known to seduce women well, that is not love. More like sophisticated hustler 😜😝😂😎😛😂😋

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    • @carlitoswayy we both wanted it. At the begining I knew it was just a fling but the little things are the things that got me hooked up.

    • Yes, we get he gave you great sex, move on

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