How do you get over a great guy?

Ok me and this guy that I only saw in person once, really liked each other. And we always talked online, on the phone or texting, and once in person. It was awesome and he told me he loved me, that he'd never hurt me or leave me. And that he loved me a lot. And I felt the same way about him. That was like October 2009 to January 2010... But then in the end of January and the beginning of February he stopped getting online and talking to me as much. And then he asked me out, and I said yes. But then for 5 weeks he didn't talked to me. I was lost and confused and I didn't feel loved anymore. I was so sad and I talked to my friends about it, and asked some of his friends to see what was wrong ith him and they said he just ignored them about it or acted like he didn't even care. So I was thinking about breaking up with him, but didn't because I knew we'd both be sad. Then HE breaks up with me! Here's what he said "Umm since I don't talk to you anymore I'm brekaing up with you srry but ur single now" I'm thinking what an ass! I wanted to cry, I was so mad, I felt like I was gonna puke (this was yesterday march 14 and today) And I tried talking to him, but he's just acted like a heartless bastard. So I said this to him " god you know what uve been such an ass ever since like february, and I'm sick of it. I wish I wouldve broken up with you sooner, wut sux is I still really like u" in a text since it's the only way I can talk to him. And I can't get over him. This is my first boyfriend and I don't know what to do with myself! I have all these feeling for him and he doesn't even care anymore

Updates:
I wanna hear from some girls too plz :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ouch.

    He was using you for personal satisfaction.

    Your frist "bf" I wouldn't really call that a boyfriend, you wee engulfed in his flurry of compliments lovely quotes and bs that he was spewing from his mouth, he didn't talk to you for 5 weeks? Yes, he totally "loves(d)" you. You cannot honestly tell me you love someone who didn't love you in the first place, things like that don't happen when someone truly feeling the emotion called "love".

    I'm sorry, but don't talk to him, don't talk about him, and DO NOT find someone else to fill that void you THINK you have in your heart. You'll end up hurting yourself and the guy. Get over him in due time, and don't LOOK for someone, someone will look for you.

    Ok? Goodluck.

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    • That sounds really hard, but what do I know

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    • Thanx :) And yah he is really immature

What Guys Said 10

  • You have a classic case of one-itis.

    One-itis is the illness where the person believes or thinks the other person is the only one they have in their life, and so works their life right around them.

    The truth is there are plenty of other people in the world who could be your boyfriend...not just this guy. So how to get over it? Keep looking...I'm sure you'll find your match eventually! :) Just don't think this guy as your 'first boyfriend' is really that important...he's only a guy you've met and known (albeit the first), and frankly couldn't get on with. That does not make it the end of the world for you, only the beginning.

    Just try to remember that there are thousands more out there who are far better than him. Good luck with your search!

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  • Just find another great guy. Stop wasting your time on "getting over" and start focusing it on "getting with".

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  • You are too reactive to the way he is with you and NOT communicative enough with him so he can "grow" being by your side. You seem to be more in love with his approval then him and he feels that. Its more like your having a daughter-father dynamic and expectations then having an equal couple dynamic. If I were him I would most likely have reacted the way he has minus the being a jerk verbally about it all.

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  • There are plenty of other great guys around :)

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    • There are plenty of guys around but you can't simply get over someone you invested time and feelings to. A lot of guys may attract you but not everyone could make you fall in love. Just sayin'

    • Like many others have said, I don't believe it's love, more infatuation.

  • Ummm...whats so great about him again?

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  • First of all, it's impossible to love someone just from texting/calling/meeting once. It wasn't love. More infatuation.

    I wouldn't even call him your 'boyfriend'. Sorry, sucks to hear but it doesn't sound like it was anything. It's not a relationship if it's just over text.

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  • Some times you need put it down as it is. He does not like you anymore, so imagine he doesn't exist anymore. Yes, I'll give it to you, he was a complete jerk. But he's acting like he's 13. If next time he makes fun of you about it. Just tell him that you're glad it's finally over and that you were itching to get rid of him.

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  • Find another great guy and you'll forget him

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  • With time. If he was the one and even not you will never truly get over him. The only thing that will do it is time.

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  • Find a better one...

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What Girls Said 11

  • Great guy? Cutting you off and acting like it doesn't matter isn't something a "great guy" does. A great guy wouldn't just tell you that you're single now either. That's a pretty cruel way to break up with someone. You even called him a heartless bastard--that's not a great guy!

    It seems like he treated you well when it was convenient for him, and those are the times you're focusing on. The way he ended things was completely different though. He left you hanging without any regard to your feelings. If he really loved you, he wouldn't have done that. It might not be easy for you to get over him, but the reality of it will sink in a little more everyday. It just takes time.

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    • He WAS a great guy

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    • No he was and then he changed , not over night but over like a month or so

    • Trust Cool-Relax: He was and is not a great guy. A great guy or girl still has respect and consideration for the feelings even for someone they are breaking up with. He is, as you said, a heartless bastard. You cannot go from being ‘great guy’ to a ‘heartless bastard’ overnight or over a month.

  • Girl you gotta stop throwing your self at this guy. He was a complete d*** to you ! I realize that he was your first boyfriend but you can't make yourself desperate. Guys always want what they can't have, you need to make yourself something he can't have. Become out of reach for him, that will make him want you more than ever;)

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    • LOL, I just got finished writing an answer with mitsy's advice in it. Basically: noticeable emotional desperation = not sexy. Being hella-confident and ‘hard to get’ = quite sexy. At least most of us find it hot... even if we don't know why...

    • Its probably that whole challege thing... I mean if a guy throws himself at me then I usually will just put him to the side for like a "rainy day" lol and go after the challege. Wow that sounds really rude and mean but I'm just trying to be truthful

  • i stopped reading after the first few sentences. If you meet someone once and they tell you they love you they don't mean it. Also if you're under 18 you ave no business in online dating, there are plenty of guys around your own age, go out with them , not random people you meet online. Oh, and he probably didn't love you in the first place. Oh yeah, if you only met in person once he wasn't your boyfriend either.

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    • I wasn't online dating!!!!!!! This was through my friend that I did know in person! We just talked on Facebook all the time! Sheesh

    • If your relationship is based ONLINE - it doesn't matter the website - That's online dating. It wasn't in person it WAS online. It's ok though we all have had that one person that we lusted over. When you truly love someone you'll know it! I wish you the best sweetie!

  • Tell you what, I felt like it was me talking. I've known a guy that I felt really comfortable with. We would chat everyday, I would call him and comfort him since he hasn't gotten over his ex. So it was like we were really "prospects" but then I noticed that he sort of ignoring me lately. Well, maybe this guy is going through some confusion about his feelings for you, his situation and some other things. Give him some time, space and if he's really yours, he'll come back to you. I know it's hard to wait but if he's really worth waiting for, then you need to tell yourself that it's essential. Try to focus more on things that will need your time like school, friends, family. Time will come that if he really loves you and you're meant for each other, he will come back and realize his mistakes. (You know it helps me giving this advice because I sort of telling these things to myself too.)

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    • That sounds like a lot of false hope to me...

      Just forget about him. He ignored you for 5 weeks, I'm sure he is doing the same thing.

  • you'll get over it before you know it I promise...just about every girl goes thru something liek this..a way better guy will come along don't even consider him as your 1st boyfriend..take it as a friend you had a lot of feelings for...i promise you beter you knw it ur really gonna be in love with a great/better guy

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  • Time heals all.

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  • One tip is to watch what you eat. And do a lot of physical activity. When my boyfriend and I broke up I gained 20 pounds in 5 months. And I'm now more addicted to chocolate than I was before. Just try and find another guy, but wait about a month first. It will make life easier for both of you. Trust me. I hope it works out and then you don't turn out like me.

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  • come on girl you said it yourself you saw him in person ONCE

    you didn't really love him you just loved the fact you had someone!

    this was all online stuff and he's full of bs

    you didn't love him there's no possible way!

    hes just a faker and a bullsh*tter and you don't need that

    i know that sick feeling and you know what he's sooo not worth it!

    trust me you will know whenyou really love someone you'll spend time with them and grow emotion.. not online!

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  • go out and just stay busy try to think about anything but him

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  • Make a playlist of your favorite songs and dance your ass off to one of them every day. (My favorite for any break up is Single Ladies.) It sounds silly but it does make you feel better. :)

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  • So you hadn't hung out in person much but he said he loved you? That's bullsh*t, sorry to say. You deserve a better guy.

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