Why do people feel the need to portray themselves as someone they're not on the first few dates?

It is ideal to show our true selves exactly as we are in real life, even when meeting and dating a new person. However, we often observe people putting up a facade or portraying themselves as someone they're not, especially in the beginning of a relationship or on the first few dates. We tend to show ourselves as someone who we think the opposite person wants to see us as. Why do we do this? Detailed answers would be welcome.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • A lot of this has to do with insecurities, self consciousness, low self esteem, lack of confidence as well. So many people believe that societies perception of the perfect man or woman is the best way to go, so they tend to not act as themselves but more so as an ideal version of themselves which is unsustainable and usually leads to stress or indirect destruction of a relationship if they get into one.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Such people are insecure and think that you won't like them unless they put up a front or prove themselves to you.

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What Guys Said 4

  • It's really simple. You want to make a good first impression so you get a better chance at actually scoring a relationship. It's all down to pressure really. Sure, it's easy to think about this logically when you're on the outside but when you're actually there on a first date you just unconsciously put up a facade.
    First impressions count and most of us just go out there putting a mask on in the heat of the moment.

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  • Lots do that I know.. but I am not one of those kinds of people.. I am honest to everyone about things.. but more so to my lady friends.. if they ask.. and they are told all about me the day I meet them I am convinced that is why I get many dates with them.. honesty to me is still the best way.. lots of people just have told so many lies in their life it is now the only thing they know how to do.. trouble with that tho is you run out of lies after a bit to cover those previous lies.. take care

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  • I don't know. I always try to be myself because I don't think you should change for anyone

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  • Because women expect so much from guys now.
    A regular guy is not enough.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Who knows. Sonetimes theyre consciously hiding their true self but passive to their own actions, sometimes they dont know who they are do they do whatever they feel like, sometimes theyre unaware of the inter changing people they present themselves as.. Who knows. Could be a million reasons..

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  • a ton of people are insecure about their true personality and would rather have an artificial one for the other person to judge so that it doesn't hurt as much if they don't like them. it all ends up messy

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