Do you ever feel like you're settling for less when dating?

I've never dated anyone, I have unreasonably high expectations of the girl I want. At least I feel like I do. So I have no experience regarding dating... at all. Do you ever feel like you're settling for less than what you want?

What I want is the girl that is "perfect" or what I find perfect. Not to come across as "I deserve the best girl in the world." I understand that a relationship takes time to build and nurture till it comes to the beautiful thing we see in romantic movies, not just love at first sight. This is probably a stupid question but I guess I'm going to ask it anyway.

  • Yes
    34% (11)58% (15)45% (26)Vote
  • No
    66% (21)42% (11)55% (32)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
I haven't checked this in a while, i'm surprised it's so split. Thanks for the thoughts everyone!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • In a way I guess I feel like I'm having to settle. I don't feel like my expectations are too high though, but I feel like I do have to settle for what I want.

    I want a guy who is actually going to love me. Not a guy who is just seeing me as a placeholder until he finds the girlfriend he really wants. Unfortunately guys treat me like a play thing. They get to hang out with me, have sex if we are in a relationship and then leave me for someone 'better'.

    I'm sick of being a play thing. I want a real relationship. But that's hard for me to come by. Everyone I know is coupled, and I am just over here wishing I had that too.

    I feel like I have to settle for a guy who can't give me what I want, because I'm struggling to find it. I've been single for a while now and it sucks. Every guy I talk to seems interested at first, and then I guess he meets someone new and finds them more exciting. I'm a simple person, and I guess that's a bad thing :(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • To be honest with you, you have to try everything in order for you to know what you can settle for. I also had a picture in my head of how i wanted the perfect woman and i wanted her to be so pretty that people wouldn't judge me for the woman i was dating. And so i fortunately did find a girl that was gorgeous in my eyes and according to my friends and some strangers she was very sexy. Turns out she had the looks but didn't like many of the things i liked doing so we dated for 5 years and we ended it. Later on i went on to dating a gurl who became my best friend after i broke up wit my ex. At times i found her attractive and other times i didn't but she was great so we gave it a shot and it turned out bad because after seein how she kinda didn't have the looks i also noticed her personality wasn't what i wanted as a girlfriend and if i have none of those then its a waste of time. This meant to me that i settled for less because she didn't meet my requirements at all although i gave it a shot and tried it out.

    Now i think that my standards changed and i won't settle for anything less meaning i will only date women that are gorgeous looking in my eyes, one that enjoys my hobbies and has some of the same interests i have, and most importantly the chemistry. If we dont have that spark or chemistry that means i can't not and will not date her because our personalities dont match.

    So get out there try dating what you think you lile and also go for the ones you dont like and you'll slowly find out what you really wanna settle for. Good luck!

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What Girls Said 7

  • Settling for less? What makes them less or more?
    I'm settling for what's right for me, nothing more and nothing less.

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  • No, apparently I have realistic expectations although I always thought I was quite picky. Still, people that I want usually want me back so I guess I'm good.

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  • I fell for someone for the first time not too long agi and he's totally not what I imagined. When you have no experience you always want perfection, but then you realise some things you thought were important are actually not very important at all. I was just surprised I fell for him, but never felt like I was settling. When you fall in love nothing matters, you feel like everything can be fixed if you're just together. Especially when its for the first time

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  • Yes sometimes I settle for the worst of people.

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  • I dont date someone until I've gotten to know them. My time is precious and im not going to date someone because i need a title or can't handle being alone. i only date guys im sexually attracted to and since im sexually attracted to few guys... etc its simple, so im not settling down anytime and i really dont want to

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  • Not really I would base it off of my own looks and what I might could get.

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  • Never. I have high standards and I wouldn't date someone who doesn't reach them.

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    • And by that I mean MY high standards might not seem that high for another person.

What Guys Said 13

  • Be sure to curve your expectations a bit. No women is perfect and she won't meet all of your standards depending on what they are. When i first started dating I had the perfect women in mind. I chose her figure, her hieght, her physical abilities. You name it I had a preference. Several years latter I realized that I had changed my standards. Usually what I got was one or the other. She was sportsy but not usually into my hobbies. If she was mentally in line with me she was not fit at all or was not able to even play catch correctly. Some where along the line I lined to curve my expectations to fit women that I dated. While I did not lower my standards/moral requirements. I did learn to not depend on just going after the smart one, tomboys, bookworms , beach girls.

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    • "If she was mentally in line with me she was not fit at all" hmmm what does that say about your mental side then? :D

    • Show All
    • @flakosky Haha I'm half joking. Like you know, if his mind matches with someone who is overweight then maybe he's subconsciously that "type" of person too and he just has good luck with his own body. But still it was partially a joke, I get that sometimes you connect with someone but you just don't feel that attracted to them.

  • Perfection is a journey, no one achieves it in a day

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  • Nope I never settle and my standards are realistic and reasonable, wanting a girl or guy that's perfect in your eyes is great and perfectly fine but make sure your standards are realistic. Otherwise you just setting yourself up to be hurt or disappointed.

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  • I've been on both ends. I've "settled" for someone I knew I wouldn't be long term with when I was a teenager. Looking back it was a horrible thing to do, and because we were both young didn't ruin the friendship we managed to keep.

    More recently I dated a women who I'm fairly sure felt she was above me. She was "settling" for someone because she wanted a relationship. From my side it ruined whatever could have come out of it. After I broke up with her I heard through others she didn't understand how I could be the one to end it. I won't go into detail, but it did confirm what I thought at the time.

    Don't settle. You'll find when you meet the right person the problems aren't settling. They are part of a package that make them worth having.

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  • I made the mistake of settling with a girl who I wasn't completely attracted to. Her personality conflicted with mine. I was physically attracted but personality is worth so much more. Don't settle, find someone who's worth it. I don't know how it feels when you find a perfect connection.

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  • I'm like you, I don't want to "settle for less" because that wouldn't be giving my genuine feelings into the relationship I've had one serious "irl" relationship so far that lasted 2 years. I've done some casual stuff with other people too but I never dated them because I knew I wasn't feeling it. Still waiting for someone I think is amazing again :')

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  • Yes, I've done it before and it's a waste of time. Although I had no problems with the girls, I just had no excitement and wasn't feeling it.

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  • Never

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  • I feel a lot of times girls just want me for money and not actually around just to get to know me. So yes.

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  • I pretty much have to settle for the leftovers of girls that nobody else wants to date since I'm a leftover...

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  • Nope I don't settle for less

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  • No, it never happened to me, but I actually never dated :(

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