Most Helpful Guy
Not exactly selfish. Everything we do is selfish in some manner. Even mother Theresa. But he is telling you he is content with your relationship as it is and does not see any need to favor you over other parts of his life. He is undoubtedlying getting every benefit he wants from marriage to you already. He is sufficiently confident... arrogant... that you will accept things as they are. Will you? Here's what I think. He has given you a massive vote of no confidence. At 30plus, the clock is ticking for you if you want kids and I think he feels you do not have better options and he is willing to risk losing you to maintain control of the relationship as it is. A low cost ring set of titanium with a cubic zirconium setting is less than $300 and you would be no less engaged or married. He does not plan to marry you and it would not shock me if he summarily cuts you loose before age 35 for a newer "boat". Do not try to "negotiate" some paliative deal. He has told you where you stand and now you have to decide where you stand.0
Most Helpful Girl
This may sound harsh, but if you're in your 30s and you've been together for 5 years and you aren't seriously discussing marriage at this point, he doesn't want to marry you. The question is, does he want to be with you but just doesn't believe in or see a point in getting married? Or is he just kinda floating along with you til it gets too hard or complicated, not wanting to actually commit to you as an individual?
Or maybe he wants to get married but sees engagement rings as a scam.
None of us know your boyfriend. Chances are, whatever the answer is here, you already know it deep down somewhere...2