Before anyone tries to judge, I'm a person who is very guarded, but I tend to care a lot once I let that guard down.
To cut a very long story short, I met a guy that fell in love with me. At the time I wasn't in a great position for a relationship... and I continuously pushed him away. I denied our relationship status as a couple, and I guess you could say I didn't treat the relationship like it meant much to me.
Anyway, basically the guy got sick of my behaviour. So yeah, he left. And I never realised I'd made him feel as low as I had. This was a WHOLE year ago. And to this day? No closure.
We've spoke on and off, flirted on and off and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of this in the middle nonsense. Arguing then not arguing, friends then not friends. And? I've initiated the contact every time over the past year and i feel he's not making any effort.
And recently? He kissed someone new, and I'm not gonna lie, finding this out hurt. I feel like my remaining trust for him got shattered. And now I'm just fed up. Can't see how I can resolve it.
So yeah, should I be the one to initiate my own closure? You know, so we're on the same page. And actually, mainly for my own sanity.
this just doesn't sound good. the way you felt about him kissing another person says something obviously, but do you want to chase your feelings? cause he obviously liked you a lot, and maybe still does if you were to come around.
if you don't want him though, just end it now and start fresh with someone else or just stay single until you feel ready.
The guy fell in love with you. You continuously pushed him away. You denied you were a couple. basically, you treated him like shit. He got tired of it and left. It seems to me that at that point, that was your closure. He tried all that time, you denied him, he gave up and left. Done. Over. End of it all.
And that was a whole year ago. Could not be much deader! But now that it is over you keep initiating contact? Why? And you feel he is not making any effort. Why should he? I-t-s o-v-e-r!
And you are hurt because he kissed someone new? Why? You are not a couple! You treated him like shit for so long and drove him away. Now please be decent enough to let him live his life.
"I didn't treat the relationship like it meant much to me." So how did you expect him to act? You didn't want him, he found someone new, and now you're jealous, so. . . you want him or you don't want him? You have given him mixed signals so it is no surprise that you have a mixed-up relationship. Have you ever tried talking with him and telling him, candidly and sincerely, what is in your heart?
You pushed him away, denied him being your boyfriend & never took your relationship with him seriously? No wonder he got fed up & left you - he had every reason to. So he's the one not making any effort now? Why are you surprised? I'm sure you wouldn't either had you been treated the same way. But maybe he's trying to make you feel the same low he did which I don't agree with, like revenge cheating. I would just end it now.