Is it true men don't like to be asked his?

My dad has always given me misinformation about dating and men. Once he told me to never ask a guy " What are you thinking about?" and never make small talk with a man. do you agree or disagree? why or why not?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I can agree about the "What are you thinking about?" Guys tend to categorize things in boxes, but guys have a box that women don't understand it's called the "Nothing box" this is when a woman asks a guy "What are you thinking?" and he says "Nothing." and she goes, "really what are you thinking about?" and he says I told you "Nothing". You see guys have the ability to completely empty their heads of all thoughts, and think of absolutely nothing.
    For your second question, guys don't generally like small talk because it accomplishes nothing, doesn't solve a problem, and can get annoying if it's not deep or something a guy is passionate about. Iget it's a form of connection, however it's like sometimes having a mosquito buzzing in your ear.

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    • Wow! If this is all true it's great info to have. Lol. Thanks! Is asking him how his day was also considered small talk or a waste of time?

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    • Thank you for MHO!! :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Your dad seems to be under the incorrect impression that he speaks for all men...

    Most people would find it annoying if the person they're with is constantly making small talk just to fill the silences, but that doesn't mean you can NEVRR make small talk or ask what he's thinking.

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What Guys Said 19

  • No its not true. at all any man would be flattered at the attention of a young attractive woman.. I have been in this situation more Han a few times. And o confident young pretty woman attempting to make conversion is very hot. She may be even a little shy and nervous but her desire to talk to you get to know you is making her over come her inhibitions.
    That is very hot to most men.

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  • Your dad may know many guys can't stop speaking about the subject you ask if it's something he knows about.
    Never ask a guy " What are you thinking about [something he isn't informed about or interested in.] ?"
    (and don't ask me anything about pastel colors!

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  • What are you supposed to discuss with a guy? Comparative philosophy? You r father may be well-intention with his advice, but you know where that road leads, right?

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  • I don't mind usually. "What are you thinking about can be annoying if the woman doesn't accept our answer. Example if we say "nothing", then it's nothing or it might as well be (something little and/or stupid and not even worth mentioning), or, we simply don't want to talk about it. My ex used to ask me this and I'd say nothing because it was true, I wasn't thinking about anything but she didn't believe it lol. I think I once just made something up just to get her to stop asking. I don't see anything wrong with small talk though. Most women aren't into small talk I find though?

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  • I agree to the point that in the 1940s were women was not equal to men but in this day in age although men are still treated a lot better in this day in age in terms of promotions and earnings. Women are now seen as equals a lot more meaning a lot more female bosses and professionals earning more than men. So I think women can ask same with men but a lot of men are shy like me lol I kept looking at this gorgeous girl on the train then I gave up as I was shy then as I started catching it again she now always smiles and says hello. But before I stopped she was shy

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  • i don't dislike it.

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  • i get asked that a lot. doesn't bother me.

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  • Almost certain he meant men like himself. Curious, what other guy advice did he give you. This topic has the funnies' potential.

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  • Small talk is usually ok, and being asked what I'm thinking is also usually ok. But it is irritating when you keep bugging us when we say "nothing". Either you're better off not knowing, or we really aren't thinking of anything. Nothing is an acceptable answer.

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  • That's a really dumb advice, how else will you talk to them? Small talk is a necessary requirement in communication.

    Just note that sometimes, some people really aren't thinking about anything specific at that given moment.

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  • That question presumes that we are thinking about something when sometimes we aren't thinking about anything at all. Or a guy could be thinking about something sexual, so either ways we'll probably just say "nothing." It's not a great question for starting a conversation, but I don't see why I guy wouldn't like it.

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  • i agree. cause most times i´m not thinking about shit xD so it´s awkward being asked and then having to come up with something deep and interesting, to not appear like a dumb person xD

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  • No I don't mind, in fact I like it when a girl care enough to know what I think about something. But Ido hate small talk in general.. Specially if it's comming from someone I care about and like, I would be very disappointed.

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  • I disagree with the part about making small talk.
    As for the "what are you thinking about" I don't hate it, as long as you're pushy if I'm not willing to share.

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  • I only agree with the small talk thing but I generally don't lik small talk in general

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  • i think your dad had it wrong. i dont mind saying whats on my mind.

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  • Whenever someone asks me "What are you thinking about?" it clues me into the fact that their thoughts are so dull, that they have to steal some of mine to keep from committing suicide out of boredom. There are infinite topics to discuss, and not one enters her mind. The excuse she'll likely give is that she wants to know how I think, yet she lacks the abilities to probe and gather that information through other conversation and observation of behavior...

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  • It gets annoying, definitely.

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  • I don't generally like being asked what I am thinking. Normally it isn't about anything interesting, or I am just letting random thoughts flow through my head, which I am not really paying attention to and will soon be forgotten unless I am stupid enough to admit to having such strange thoughts.

    Me thinking "So, the sound of a fart is just the butt checks slapping against each other really fast. That is kinda funny to picture. Hehe"
    Her "What are you thinking"
    Me "I err um... Nothing."

    I would rather her ask me what I think about a certain topic.
    Me thinking "What the hell is the Grimace from the McDonald commercials suppose to be? A gum drop, facial expresion, stomach tumor?"
    Her "What do you think about trying this new restaurant some time?"
    Me "That sounds like fun".

    Avoiding all small talk is pretty much impossible. Small talk is fine, but it can also be boring.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I agree totally. Men don't want to hear "what are you thinking about" because it's either nothing and irritates him, or for another reason. Small talk is also bothersome for a lot of men I know. They prefer a few meaningful topics and less nonsense. They just don't communicate the same as women.

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  • That's a weird question to ask anyone most of the time.

    The last guy I dated asked me that all the time and it was never anything important. His insecurity always would get to me, though.

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  • I dislike being asked this question and I am not even a male.

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