Do you believe it's possible to be in love more than one person at once?

As you've all probably figured out, a lot of my questions are inspired either by my own neurotic thoughts or by the people I interact with in my daily life. For this question, I was inspired by a friendly acquiescence who we'll call... CC. Basically, CC is a chronic dater: she dates a guy, breaks up in a month, is dating a new guy. That's just CC's life, all the power to her. However, CC has claimed recently (whilst in a relationship) that she has been in love with more than 3 men AT A TIME.

Needless to say, I was baffled. But then I asked myself this question: if it's possible for us to love multiple people in our lifetimes, is it so far fetched to assume you can love more than one person at once?

What do you G@Gers think? Do you believe that if you're in love with somebody you're only able to love that person? Or do you believe it's very possible to be in love with multiple people at a time, even if you're in a committed relationship?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmm i would say there is an odd correlation between love and desire but they are not always exclusive. Let's be honest though some people can't tell the difference between peanut butter and almond butter. I would say that it is very hard to have a deep emotional connection type of love with 3 people at once and not feel guilty about it. But so many of my friends have always said that they can't decide, perhaps its always too early for them to do so for a relationship to even work... if that makes sense

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What Guys Said 11

  • I think of love as an unwavering desire to spend the rest of your life being one-half of a couple with the same person.

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  • I think it might be possible but not on the same level. Even true for families there are favorites. However I couldn't romantically I'm too loyal and only have eyes for my girl.

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  • I have never experienced it, and I could never do so. However, that doesn't mean that it couldn't happen to others. I do confess that when I hear, "I'm in love with two people," my first inclination is to think, "You mean you're in lust with two people." Of course I could be wrong.

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  • Family wise, yes.
    Romantically, maybe.
    Evenly, no.

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  • Personally I would say no it isn't possible and that people who claim to be are possibly mistaking attraction for love which clearly is not the same thing. From my experience I have found being in love to be a very intense feeling and something I could not possibly feel with more than one person at a time. However, we are all different and perhaps for some people it is possible, i'm willing to keep an open mind about this.

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  • You can love your wife and kids, you brothers and sisters, you parents, etc. I wouldn't say you can love two partners... Either you're all in or out...

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  • No I think that the person is confused about themselves

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  • Yes I do...

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  • Sounds like a talent
    "CC Got Talent" :P

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  • kind of, since it doesn't have to be full love

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  • of course especially men can love;)
    i'm too

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What Girls Said 10

  • I think it's possible to love more than one person at once, but in different ways. So I don't think you can love more than one person in that "you're the perfect person for me, I'm willing to spend the rest of my life with you" type of way. There's a quote that says "if you ever find yourself in love with two people, choose the second one because if you truly loved the first you wouldn't have fallen for the second" and I back that because I've learned the truth behind it from my own personal experience. Once you start falling for someone else something changes, and it's virtually impossible to keep an even balance between the two or three, so even if she was to love all of them, I'd put money on the fact that she cares about one more than the others, and in that case, what's the point of the other ones?

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    • Wow, that's probably the worst quote I've ever heard in my life. Like... srsly?

      If everyone followed that quote, then, anyone in a long-term relationship who EVER had a fleeting affair -- or who felt any "new" infatuation -- would feel like she/he should just go run off with that Other Woman/Man.

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    • @redeyemindtricks @HookingSwan, I think you guys fail to grasp the most important part of the quote, it's that you think you LOVE the second person. This doesn't refer to fleeting affairs or flings or infatuations.

    • many people think they love someone when they're just infatuated or excited about this new person

      now if, with time, it develops into love, now that's another thing. and that may also be nfluenced by the state of ur own relationship with the person u were with 1st. if it is in a good place, it is less likely that the infatuation or excitement develops into something more.

      I got what u meant, however, @jesshkah

  • I think its possible but I am more loyal than that. If I love my guy I don't see anything else. But thats me. <3 #Futurebf WHERE ARE U? ! lol

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  • I don't think so plus it would cause a lot of problems.

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  • Yes I do think it's possible. It might not be love on the same level, but I do think that a person can love multiple people.

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  • Being in love with multiple people is a very real thing, that's called Polyamory. It means being in love with or romantically involved with more than one person at a time. A Polyamorous relationship is with the consent of all partners involved though.

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    • Grrrr closed question, so, I rants on this opinion thread.

      Sry y'all, but, if "polyamorous" is a possibility, then you just don't know what "amorous" even is.
      Amorous.
      Love.
      Crazy irrational heartrending aching omg can't-think-about-anything-else fuck-it-bet-it-all love.
      You've never had it.

      Folks, there's a reason why Romeo and Juliet is Romeo and Juliet, and not Romeo and Juliet and Danny.

      There's a reason why, even when there ARE "love triangles", they STILL aren't actually triangular.

      There's a reason.

      True love -- the kind that makes a whole heartbreaking life of failures worth it, with just one glance -- is strictly between 2 people. And it's intense, and it's scary.

      "Polyamory" is one way to hide from that. It's a way to minimize emotional risk, by diversifying a portfolio. In other words, y'all scared. Scared of real love.

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    • Huh, wish I noticed this earlier, haven't had time to be on here recently. That idea that there is only one way to love, and that it can only involve one person, is fundamentally flawed and a sign of people incapable of understanding that other people may not work like they do. It's a very selfish view of the world, which fits because being unable to understand polyamory is essentially being unable to understand unconditional love, which is a problem for people that are selfish and self-centered.

      Crazy irrational love isn't love, it's part of the chemical reaction that takes place during NRE, the new relationship energy period of initial attraction. It is a chemical high used to artificially bond two people while real love grows in the background. That's the 'love at first sight'. People know how it works because science figured it out. Ignorance to the chemical workings of the brain doesn't make an opinion valid.

      There are numerous people living happy polyamorous lives.

    • It is very possible, and I see it every day.

      The way a person can love two children, or two parents, or four grandparents... it's exactly the same as how a person can love two people romantically. Some brains handle romantic love the same way they handle every other form of love. And just like saying 'why have a second child, it must mean you don't really love the first one', people that don't get it, simply don't get it. Doesn't make them right, just makes their brain different, somehow unable to feel romantic love the way it works with other forms of love and getting stuck thinking that somehow the chemical high associated with NRE is a real love. It's not, is self-facing, and real love is selfless and unconditional.

      Someone saying polyamory is a way of hiding from real love does not understand love, nor do they understand polyamory. They are confused by the chemicals in their brains and making assumptions about things they don't understand. I wouldn't spend much time listening to

  • Some one asked this exact same question a few days ago actually, and my same answer is no its not possible. The second person they fell in love with is the person they want

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  • It's possible, poly-relashionships is a great thing for some people, and there's nothing wrong with it

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  • yeah just watch the show bachelor lol

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  • Unfortunately, yes. Loyalty has nothing to do with it. It just happens.
    According to researches I've done about this particular topic, it's completely possible. Sadly, I think it happens more often than not. However, if it ever happened to me while I was in a relationship with someone, 'd probably break up and try to deal with it on my own.

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