Are younger women just shallow?

So, as I have noticed very frequently on responses to questions i post, women take great stock in looks. People on GAG have told me that the reason women are usually always uninterested in me is because of my looks... And honestly, if it is the case I find it rather sad that I'm solely judged based on my appearance. It may shock you, or you may call me a liar, but I don't approach a woman because of their looks. Generally, i have some background information on the girl from previous conversations, and by finding out her interests i determine whether or not to ask her out for lunch or dinner to chat. So, it just amazes me how primitve and unrational the concept of judging someone based on appearance is. Could it be the western culture which causes this? Possibly. Could it be the media and entertainment industries? Most definitely. Clothing companies? Yep. Basically we are taught to appreciate looks above everything. It's money, appearance, morals. So it's rather irritating because, I don't care about looks, but yet everyone else does... I find the whole dating concept to be full of hypocrisy. So on to my question. Do you think that looks are a large factor when deciding if you will "date" any given person? Why or why not?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well men (in general!) always approached women solely based on looks and now that it's becoming more socially acceptable for women to do the same, so why shouldn't they?

    It's perfectly fine to only date people you are physically attracted to and would be even unfair to force pressure people into dating someone they don't find attractive.

    You just gotta learn to suck it up, homie.
    a.fod4.com/.../startrekwithit.gif

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    • lol what she said

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    • It doesn't automatically mean the attractive candidate isn't fit for a job just because they are attractive, I think in the studies that were conducted they compared an ordinary candidate and an attractive one with the same qualities and the attractive person was usually the preferred one.

      Anyways, you seem rather bitter to me so maybe instead of whining about how society is so focussed on looks you should consider improving your own looks if you feel so left out.

    • Why should I change myself when I'm not in the wrong. Society is in the wrong for putting looks over personality and intelligence. And I'm not whining. I am merely stating the fact of society's wrongdoing, and the ignorance of society.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Not just girls but all women and girls are shallow. I heard never take any dating advice from women cause they don't know what they want.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Just because women are visual like men does not make us shallow. Believe it or not, we care about looks too

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    • But the whole idea of putting to much stock in appearances is rather pointless. Men are at fault for it too. The reality is that looks shouldn't matter because by the time anyone is labeled a senior citizen what good did those looks do you? Nothing because they are long gone, but your mind and personality can still be the same.

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    • @Cusco_Othriyas I did not tag you so I don't care what you think

    • Ladies like you are the absolute worst

  • I've never gone for looks alone because I am ugly. It would be hypocritical for me to just want someone who is attractive when I am not. I've never been in a relationship because of my looks. So it's definitely not just women. No man has ever asked me out. It's usually me who has done the approaching, and it wasn't their looks that drew me in. I have social anxiety so I can only talk to people I am comfortable with. So any of the men I've been interested in were ones that I got to know and I was comfortable with. They have all rejected me. I've never had a relationship.

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  • Not all women are shallow. For me, a sense of humor and intelligence is a must. I'm a journalist so grammatical errors bother me. But to judge someone solely on looks means you risk missing out on someone who is potentially amazing, and I hate the risk of missing out.

    Personally I think people judge me all the time. I'm sure a lot of people assume I'm some dumb blonde or something. But they're missing out on a lot of qualities that show who I really am. I think I work extra hard not to judge people just because of it.

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    • Colie, which sports do you follow? Do you ever write about the hockey team? That's more what I really wanted to know.

    • @HGStebbins Right now I only write for the football team. Our hockey team is awesome, though!

  • So what exactly makes you approach a woman? Her knowledge on chemistry and physics?

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    • No. Her interests, her personality, and her intelligence in general.

    • Before getting to know her? How do you know her personality and her interests and her intelligence before actually getting to know her?

What Guys Said 18

  • People with looks want to be with people with looks
    It's not shallow, it's biology.

    If you have options, you're going to select the best option.
    Grass is green,
    sky is blue

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    • Well if it's biology explain me. I put no faith in looks because looks fade as we age. Am i a deviant within biology? No, I think not. humans have risen above biology to now think beyond survival.

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    • Superior? Maybe if we were cavemen. The superior are those with greater intelligence, not strength or looks. We are beyond the point of "survival of the fittest" it's now intelligence that allows us to prosper. Sociology 101.

  • This is that one thing that there's never a point to arguing over about. People, men AND women, like good looks and it's the first thing they pay attention to. End of.

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    • But the concept of only worrying about looks is absurd. Just because someone looks good does not mean anything because they will lose those looks as they age, but someone with a incredible mind and personality will continue on through old age. It's rather simple minded to only consider looks as a key factor in society.

    • I agree but it just is what it is, unfortunately. I'm not that good looking myself but I just force myself to cope with it.

  • I think a lot of girls are shallow, but I would prefer another word:simple.
    I understand what this question is asking and the girls who responded seemed not so much.
    I feel that girls do not think beyond and have no sense of there is more out there. I do not really know how to put it but I think girls do not value self-improvement (except make-ups = =) much and they just ignore lots of aspects in life for unknown reasons or they just do not perceive? I don't know... And it is not about age it happens to most of women that they only want their husband to be good and never thought about getting better themselves on the inside, not mentioning they lack judgement of people and always find the wrong guy because they do not have enough decent social life experience because every gentleman will treat her well and when others treat her like a normal person she feels her being downgraded. Anyhow because they failed perceiving anything else rather than looks they will of course think looks, or reputation, or masculinity, or money, or assertiveness is everything they look for from a guy, like love itself is secondary. I feel the society is one to blame but they are just normal people, what you have to do is to find great people to date instead. Of course that might not apply to you as you are too young to be around those people.

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  • I do think looks play a big part in determining who we want to date, yeah. However, when you find out that the girl is a real turn-off in personality and behavior, you find that you don't like her or want to date her anymore.

    Women are very visual too. I'm not one of those people who's gonna sit here and tell you it's not true. If women can be visual with each other to the point of competing and hating one another for their looks, then they can certainly be visual with men, yeah. People also like to say that men will fuck a girl even if she's ugly while a girl would never sleep with an ugly guy. If that's really true, then it would actually mean that females are more visual than males.

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  • You're profile says you are 18? At that age almost all of you are shallow. I'm afraid that doesn't go away either. It changes, but it there. Your looks are how you first judge a person. It shouldn't be, but it is.

    If you know someone before approaching them it's a different game with different rules. The question of course is how much information do they have about you.

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    • Actually "that age" is not the people I'm around on a daily basis, since I'm a sophomore in college, but I find that even college students are rather harsh, cold, and shallow.

    • Fair enough. The jump between leaving school and going to collage (university?) at 18 isn't as big as people make out in their heads. You think you'll turn into a full adult over night when the truth is many of the people there are still immature.

      It is a maturity thing.

  • I find them more naive and impulsive, but not shallow.
    Maturity takes time.
    So what, you're ugly, find some other good trait about you and make that better.
    Most of the important men in history had to overcomes some adversity
    -Neapolian and Tom Cruise are short AF
    -Einstein didn't speak until he was four.
    -Thomas Edison failed 1,000 times before creating the lightbulb.

    Stop whining and make something of yourself that you can be proud of and the women will flow like water.

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  • Meh, I am what you would probably call shallow, so can't judge women for that. I don't think that by and large they are as preoccupied with looks as men but then I don't have the female experience, so I would not know.

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  • Having physical attraction is for both sexes. So how can you call it shallow?

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    • It's simple mindedness to only trust looks to judge a person.

    • No its human nature really

    • Human nature? We are not animals we are more intelligent than relying on instinct.

  • women know that if they look good they will get special treatment, and life will be easier. Less attractive/ugly women will be treated similarly to how an average man would get treated, but since women are more spoiled and entitled than men, this is not good enough for them, which in turn is why retarded feminist ideas like empowering fat women into thinking they are healthy is a common thing today.

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    • An average looking girl gets about the same level of attractiveness as a good looking man.

  • I would say our culture is shallow so people being brought up in it are shallow. Change the culture and people will change with it.

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  • Most are, yes. But it really depends upon the area you have grown up in

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  • I don't think any shallower than most guys in their teens and early 20's.

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  • Depends on how tall they are...

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  • I don't think its "taught", i think its genetics, or evolution or instincts or something like that.

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    • Explain me then. I don't put any faith in looks because they fade as we age.

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    • Or so they say, but again I have no faith in modern theories of consciousness.

    • When you get to know someone when for example a common hobby, or sport or whatever and you get to talk about things, you will or will not get that click. However when in a bar or a beach or something, where people "scan" each other, the decision to approach or avoid is made unconscious and within one tenth of a second, if you like it or not.

  • I think honestly, women and men naturally (removing societal pressures) have much in common, both are visual and it's true women are more dynamic with their needs in commited relationships but if they are exploring, flirting, enjoying their youthfulness and rules of attraction, they should enjoy it. What you are seeing is a separationof traditional view on women, and the modern reality.
    Much of the old fashion view is based on the fact that women needed men more to survive, in relationships and their behaviour was more "elegant or refined or ladylike" which is really more like obedient and appealing to a mans insecurity. In history women didn't have the luxury to focus on looks as their survival depended on strength and power of the man, so those qualities they focused on over looks and it meant they had to really getto know the man's interworking as an investment which I think you are seeing is no longer as needed, not in modern society when more girls are graduating college than men.

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  • By "looks", they look at the the presentation, not just your genetics. Some guys just present themselves poorly. Can't dress for shit, bad haircut, bad posture, bad vibe, bad shoes. JUST AWFUL.

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  • When women are young they care about looks and are way more likely to be less materialistic. You'd find girls in this age group just really care about having fun with a good looking guy. So if you are social and good looking, and can keep them entertain then you are practically in.

    Sure there is also a massive rise in gold diggers in this group pinning for older men money but for the most part girls really just care about looks and having fun.

    Now fast forward to mid 20's and beyond when job, home and money start becoming important. Many girls make this shift where they start caring about financial stability. They are looking for reliable guys who have a steady paycheck that can help support a household.

    So you got girl compromising on looks, and excitement in place of a guy's financial stability, does he have his own place now, his car and they start focusing on his material items to weigh in on whether he's suited as a mate.

    So in summary:

    Young girls 18-24: Just want to have fun. Care about looks.

    Women 25+ : Weighing in money, material items (car, home, job status) and taking less of a focus on looks and fun. So girls are willing to be with less attractive, and fun guys who have good job.

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  • Well ZeatZed, there's shallowness, and there's pragmatism. Looks surely play a role.

    They approve people based sole on appearance, because they can, and society encourages them to do so. No need to judge, to be honest I bet guys would do the exact same thing in their position. As my mom once said: "Girls are the choosers, get over it." There is nothing more powerful than a young, white, wealthy American girl.

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    • And more than likely I'll end up alone due to my hatred for judging solely on looks.

    • Not necessarily, you're only 18. Your odds will probably turn around in your mid 30s. Just focus on school right now.

    • Funny thing is, I don't plan on living that long especially since the field I'm going into is probably as dangerous as going into the military.

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