So, as I have noticed very frequently on responses to questions i post, women take great stock in looks. People on GAG have told me that the reason women are usually always uninterested in me is because of my looks... And honestly, if it is the case I find it rather sad that I'm solely judged based on my appearance. It may shock you, or you may call me a liar, but I don't approach a woman because of their looks. Generally, i have some background information on the girl from previous conversations, and by finding out her interests i determine whether or not to ask her out for lunch or dinner to chat. So, it just amazes me how primitve and unrational the concept of judging someone based on appearance is. Could it be the western culture which causes this? Possibly. Could it be the media and entertainment industries? Most definitely. Clothing companies? Yep. Basically we are taught to appreciate looks above everything. It's money, appearance, morals. So it's rather irritating because, I don't care about looks, but yet everyone else does... I find the whole dating concept to be full of hypocrisy. So on to my question. Do you think that looks are a large factor when deciding if you will "date" any given person? Why or why not?
I've never gone for looks alone because I am ugly. It would be hypocritical for me to just want someone who is attractive when I am not. I've never been in a relationship because of my looks. So it's definitely not just women. No man has ever asked me out. It's usually me who has done the approaching, and it wasn't their looks that drew me in. I have social anxiety so I can only talk to people I am comfortable with. So any of the men I've been interested in were ones that I got to know and I was comfortable with. They have all rejected me. I've never had a relationship.
Not all women are shallow. For me, a sense of humor and intelligence is a must. I'm a journalist so grammatical errors bother me. But to judge someone solely on looks means you risk missing out on someone who is potentially amazing, and I hate the risk of missing out.
Personally I think people judge me all the time. I'm sure a lot of people assume I'm some dumb blonde or something. But they're missing out on a lot of qualities that show who I really am. I think I work extra hard not to judge people just because of it.
I think a lot of girls are shallow, but I would prefer another word:simple. I understand what this question is asking and the girls who responded seemed not so much. I feel that girls do not think beyond and have no sense of there is more out there. I do not really know how to put it but I think girls do not value self-improvement (except make-ups = =) much and they just ignore lots of aspects in life for unknown reasons or they just do not perceive? I don't know... And it is not about age it happens to most of women that they only want their husband to be good and never thought about getting better themselves on the inside, not mentioning they lack judgement of people and always find the wrong guy because they do not have enough decent social life experience because every gentleman will treat her well and when others treat her like a normal person she feels her being downgraded. Anyhow because they failed perceiving anything else rather than looks they will of course think looks, or reputation, or masculinity, or money, or assertiveness is everything they look for from a guy, like love itself is secondary. I feel the society is one to blame but they are just normal people, what you have to do is to find great people to date instead. Of course that might not apply to you as you are too young to be around those people.
I do think looks play a big part in determining who we want to date, yeah. However, when you find out that the girl is a real turn-off in personality and behavior, you find that you don't like her or want to date her anymore.
Women are very visual too. I'm not one of those people who's gonna sit here and tell you it's not true. If women can be visual with each other to the point of competing and hating one another for their looks, then they can certainly be visual with men, yeah. People also like to say that men will fuck a girl even if she's ugly while a girl would never sleep with an ugly guy. If that's really true, then it would actually mean that females are more visual than males.
You're profile says you are 18? At that age almost all of you are shallow. I'm afraid that doesn't go away either. It changes, but it there. Your looks are how you first judge a person. It shouldn't be, but it is.
If you know someone before approaching them it's a different game with different rules. The question of course is how much information do they have about you.
I find them more naive and impulsive, but not shallow. Maturity takes time. So what, you're ugly, find some other good trait about you and make that better. Most of the important men in history had to overcomes some adversity -Neapolian and Tom Cruise are short AF -Einstein didn't speak until he was four. -Thomas Edison failed 1,000 times before creating the lightbulb.
Stop whining and make something of yourself that you can be proud of and the women will flow like water.
Meh, I am what you would probably call shallow, so can't judge women for that. I don't think that by and large they are as preoccupied with looks as men but then I don't have the female experience, so I would not know.
women know that if they look good they will get special treatment, and life will be easier. Less attractive/ugly women will be treated similarly to how an average man would get treated, but since women are more spoiled and entitled than men, this is not good enough for them, which in turn is why retarded feminist ideas like empowering fat women into thinking they are healthy is a common thing today.
I think honestly, women and men naturally (removing societal pressures) have much in common, both are visual and it's true women are more dynamic with their needs in commited relationships but if they are exploring, flirting, enjoying their youthfulness and rules of attraction, they should enjoy it. What you are seeing is a separationof traditional view on women, and the modern reality. Much of the old fashion view is based on the fact that women needed men more to survive, in relationships and their behaviour was more "elegant or refined or ladylike" which is really more like obedient and appealing to a mans insecurity. In history women didn't have the luxury to focus on looks as their survival depended on strength and power of the man, so those qualities they focused on over looks and it meant they had to really getto know the man's interworking as an investment which I think you are seeing is no longer as needed, not in modern society when more girls are graduating college than men.
By "looks", they look at the the presentation, not just your genetics. Some guys just present themselves poorly. Can't dress for shit, bad haircut, bad posture, bad vibe, bad shoes. JUST AWFUL.
When women are young they care about looks and are way more likely to be less materialistic. You'd find girls in this age group just really care about having fun with a good looking guy. So if you are social and good looking, and can keep them entertain then you are practically in.
Sure there is also a massive rise in gold diggers in this group pinning for older men money but for the most part girls really just care about looks and having fun.
Now fast forward to mid 20's and beyond when job, home and money start becoming important. Many girls make this shift where they start caring about financial stability. They are looking for reliable guys who have a steady paycheck that can help support a household.
So you got girl compromising on looks, and excitement in place of a guy's financial stability, does he have his own place now, his car and they start focusing on his material items to weigh in on whether he's suited as a mate.
So in summary:
Young girls 18-24: Just want to have fun. Care about looks.
Women 25+ : Weighing in money, material items (car, home, job status) and taking less of a focus on looks and fun. So girls are willing to be with less attractive, and fun guys who have good job.
Well ZeatZed, there's shallowness, and there's pragmatism. Looks surely play a role.
They approve people based sole on appearance, because they can, and society encourages them to do so. No need to judge, to be honest I bet guys would do the exact same thing in their position. As my mom once said: "Girls are the choosers, get over it." There is nothing more powerful than a young, white, wealthy American girl.