IS HE just trying to get in my PANTS?

I've had a long time coworker, friend and neighbor for about 3 years now, always messaging me. Recently my boyfriend moved out and my friend took me to dinner and tried to get with me after... he talked about how perfect he thinks I am, and about children and marriage, about me moving in with him etc... He even wants to take me on a trip this weekend. Not sure if he is just saying things to try and sleep with me? Or if he is serious? How do I find out?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • you may not know until it unfolds, or just state your boundaries/rules up front as part of a yea... that sounds great, just understand I'm a high quality girl, I like to get to know someone really well, etc.. etc..

    I wouldn't turn someone down because of an asumption.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He could be obsessed with you, and is voicing this now because boyfriend's out of the picture, or at least out of where you are currently living. He could possibly be serious but overall this all just comes off creepy to me. The constant messaging, the children, the marriage. He definitely isn't JUST trying to bed you.

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    • what should i do?

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    • i am almost tempted to rebound and just go out on this trip but im worried..

    • If you go on this trip, your whole life could be different. Just think, do you want to have sex with this guy and possibly give him the things you said he mentioned above? If you go on this trip, this thing could go from rebound to actual relationship. Considering how quickly he told you these things after your boyfriend moved out, you could be married next week.

What Guys Said 12

  • Any man interested in any woman, he wants to get in her pants.
    however, that is not necessarily all he wants.
    why do women want to keep on with this "is he after sex?" the answer is always yes. that doesn't mean he isn't a really sincere and nice guy that wants you long term.

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  • Hey, regardless, thats the end game anyway. so you can either just do it and get it out of the way or go Sherlock Holmes on him, which will take much longer. the choice is yours. Worrying/thinking about it usually never helps...

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  • Well he is moving really fast which points to the direction of him trying to get into your pants but if you guys are close it could mean that he's been emotionally invested in you for a lot longer than you were aware. It's possible that he's practically in love with you.

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  • Well he knows how to sweet talk you. If he talked about marriage and children then, he should propose instead of trying to get into your pants. If he is serious then should say to him "if you love me wait for sex until marriage." You are to keep your standards high, don't lower your standards. Be true to yourself, if he cares and cherishes your heart then he will marry you.

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  • Obviously dkes want to sleep with you but many times and fall in love with you by the sounds of children and marriage. Looks like he wants a relationship

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  • You can find out by sleeping with him and seeing if he continues to treat you as nicely as he does now. lel

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  • Go on trip see how it goes but do not let him in your knickers just yet

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  • Well, at least he waited until your boyfriend moved out.
    But it seems like he is moving too quick.

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    • yeah i almost feel like he is trying to get in my pants more than anything

    • Hmmm. Maybe.
      "He even wants to take me on a trip this weekend." How much does he know you, actually know know YOU? Especially if that TRIP is at the beach with a hotel or beach house. Then he just wants your body and not a relationship.

  • If you don't like him, then don't have sex with him.

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  • feels like he really likes you, cause of those 3 years..

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    • but he is pushy for sex

    • if he serious about relationships and even marriage tell him you want to sleep with a husband after marriage and look how he will act. If he stays with you then he really likes you, if he leaving you then you know who he is for real...

  • Don't mess around with co workers... never poop where you eat. If it falls apart, then rumors and crap talking happen. Plus interferes with productivity.

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    • sorry EX-Coworker from my former job

  • Well he has waited this long so it's more than just getting your pants

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    • Into that is, I'm sure he really wants to do all those things with you if the relationship works

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    • He wants a relationship with you and not be just friends. I guess as far as him liking being single it just makes him eligible for when he finds the right girl In his mind, which was probably you all along

    • Thanks for your help!

What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds like he's moving pretty fast regardless of his motives. I'd be careful and def not go on the trip.

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