I know there are many guys who are the same way with abusive and/or unfaithful girlfriends, but the vice versa seems to be more discussed. This still applies to them too.
As for my question, the only exceptions I can think of (unless you can name more) are if she fears for her life if she leaves him, if she has children with him whom he threatens to not let her see if she leaves him, if he cheats on her and she has a hard time leaving him because of their children, or if she's too financially dependent on him to leave.
Other than that, if she doesn't leave him (or if he doesn't leave her) because of "love", do you think they're just plain spineless and stupid? Or are there other reasons you can explain?
- No.Vote A
- Yes.Vote B
Most Helpful Girl
No, I do not think that they are stupid. In fact, I think whoever calls them stupid is emotionally unintelligent and lacks a certain level of intellect themselves.
Often times, these females have never been shown any other example of love. They are either repeating a cycle their parents showed them or there was never a father around to show them how a woman is supposed to be treated so they literately do not know of any other type of love. They probably think any other type of love is a fairytale and that abusive love is how love works in the real world. Add onto that low self-esteem and no sense of worth and you have the perfect target for an abusive man (or woman) to leech off of.
People don't just walk into your life and say "I'm abusive. Will you be with me?" They charm you and win your heart, perhaps give you your first children, then they begin to attack your spirit and physically harm you. If the woman doesn't have the finances to support herself and her children without him, then she'll feel compelled to stay, try and work it out, and hope he'll stop being a monster. She may not be spineless but truly believe that a part of loyalty is to fully accept horrible behavior until someone changes. She may have the gift of unconditional love and be sharing it with the wrong man.
It's cold-hearted, nasty, and rude to absentmindedly categorize an abused woman or man as simply "spineless and stupid".6
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Most Helpful Guy
Its very hard for us who've never dealt with an abusive partner. I had a friend who her boyfriend was abusive and I went on our nations abusive holiness website and found out why it's so hard for them to leave. We think it's stupid but you have to understand these women can't just leave there boyfriends. Abusers are very manipulating and have charisma like Hitler. Basically their Hitler in a way. They have control. They are very sweet at first for the first year or so but then they show their true colors. These girls will try to leave the house and they won't let them leave. They have to go everywhere. There is no escape to these girls get brainwashed to believe that this is normal in a relationship. So its us as people who know what are healthy relationship to help these people. So if you know a girl whose in this type of relationship don't call them dumb or stupid. Its just the life they knwo and they hold on to the fact the abuser will change0
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