Did my boyfriend settle for me? (Please take the time to read it's pretty to the point)?

I've had this huge crush on my (now) boyfriend. He's never ever had a girlfriend nor really talked to girls cause he's shy when it comes to that. We didn't start talking till we both started attending the same university near our hometown last May. Once summer came we had a "thing" going on and we would hang out here and there. But he was still very inconsistent with me, but I thought it was just because he never talked to girls. We would hangout one day and then go 3 days without talking and then he would initiate a conversation with me. That's how it was pretty much all summer Then I started having the feeling that he was talking to some other girl as well because I saw him messaging a girl one time we were hanging out last summer.. . Well, Once school started and everyone went back to school. That's when everything fell into place with us. I recently went through his messages from last summer and it turns out he was hanging out with two other girls and me! These two girls are very very pretty and cool, (I knew them from high school) and it hurt me because he hung out with them and said tell them he wanted to hangout and that they were pretty... but he was being very inconsistent with me.
I have mentioned it to him before and he said "well I've never gotten a girls attention before, and I was just laying out my options, and the only reason why I spent more time with (INSERT NAME HERE) because I only had two months to hangout with her before she left for school again"
And I feel like the only reason why it didn't work with the other girls was because they go to different schools about 5 hours away. Since we live in the same city, I feel like he kinda just settled for me. Although, I do think we have a happy relationship. Probably one of my best relationships. But now I'm dwelling on what he ultimately wanted last summer because I kinda feel like he shifted me to the side


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You can either let those thoughts ruin your relationship and break-up based solely on the "what if" thought, or you can focus on the happy relationship you have and accept that he is with you because he wants to be.

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What Guys Said 4

  • The only way not to be settled for, realistically, is to have at least one amazing quality, and most people don't have one.

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  • Only he would know.

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  • here's the thing guys search for girls who actually want them, perhaps you think you have a relationship but to him its not cause you just "hang out" once and a while and not show anything else. guys are not going to decide things for you so if you want him than show it every day plus talking to him on the subject helps big time too. plus listening to what he says helps too. so dont feel bad for a guy who doesn't get much attention from girls, and suddenly does, and complain when you never bring things to the next level or more to begin with, which is always the biggest mistake girls do

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    • Well, last summer we weren't really anything. We technically weren't even "talking." The whole time I kinda just thought I was the only girl. I'm not mad that he was talking to other girls cause nothing was official. It just hurts because I feel like if he really was into me and attracted to me last summer he wouldn't even had put his attention towards other girls. Now I'm just wondering who meant more to him last summer? does that even matter at this point?

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    • I am with him! We are boyfriend and girlfriend now! We hang out literally everyday. I'm just dwelling on the past..

    • i see, very good ;)

  • It sounds like he was seeing who was a better fit for him and since they were leaving for school far away he knew he couldn't have continued with either of them so only he will really know if it could have worked out with them if they stayed so I would feel like you do too and think he settled but hey some things work out for the better

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What Girls Said 0

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