Is it okay for a girl I've been dating to sleepover at her guy friends house?

I'm just wondering if it's okay for me to feel insecure about this, girls I know have told me that it's fine and that its a guy friend thing and that I'm being controlling, i have always tried not to be controlling, I've been okay with her hanging out at guy friends house which was hard enough because I get worried, but am I overreacting here?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You know what will happened don't you? they will bang each other cause your not even dating her. So she'll think it's ok cause your not his boyfriend

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    • What?

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    • you can accept it but you should be more confident. Do you deserve to be cheating on? Why she's with him when she can be with you? Don't you get the idea? They have a lot of girls who doesn't have guy friends or doesn't go in the house of a guy alone at night. What se do is disrespect you.

    • Sorry to intrude on your comment, but I can't comment since the question is closed! Anyway, I sleepover at my best friends house whenever. He is a guy. My boyfriend is totally okay with it. This guy is my best friend though. He and I are like brother and sister. No romantic connection whatsoever. I may be 18, but my parents trust me enough to let me sleep over his house as well since I still live under their roof. If they even had the slightest inkling that we had a thing for each other, they'd never allow it.

      I love my boyfriend very much. He's the only one for me and just because I hang out or sleepover at my best friends house, there is no way in hell I would sleep with that boy. I'm not up for cheating on my boyfriend. I don't think you are being controlling and I would definitely have a talk about this with this girl you're dating. If it is bothering you, you have a right to get things off your chest. Let her know how you feel and see where it may lead.

What Girls Said 10

  • Thats suspicious indeed. Why doesn't she sleep over at your house?

    I know that I may have guy friends , we may chat, hang out and make jokes but I draw the line at sleeping over.

    Unless its some emergency like he is sick and/or dying or maybe she is stranded then I dont get it.

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    • Do you think she would sleep with him. :(

    • @Asker, its hard to tell but listen to your gut feeling. Talk about it and look at her facial expressions and reactions. Does she find it hard to hold eye contact ans avoids ur eyes? Does she make gestures over the top? Is she fidgeting or her face becomes flush? Take in all of these...

  • No your not overreacting. I think it's actually good that your being overprotective in this situation because who would want their girlfriend to sleepover at a guys house? If she thinks your being over dramatic, your not. It's your job to feel this way lol.

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  • Not okay with me.

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  • No, I think it's reasonable to be uncomfortable with it. Is there a reason she has to sleep over?

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  • Just the two of them? I wouldn't be cool with it, so no.

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  • I wouldn't be okay with it if I was you. I'd suggest talking to her about it in a somewhat casual way. Let her know it bothers you, and that even though your trust her, it makes you uncomfortable and uneasy.

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  • No, I'd be upset if I had a boyfriend and he was sleeping over at his female friend's house. That's not acceptable to me.

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  • This is a very tough one. I would not be comfortable. I'd let it happen once. That's my final answer after all the thinking and I've been thinking about this question for 20 minutes. The best answer I can give is I'll let it happen once

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  • Uh, no. Lol. I wouldn't let my boyfriend sleepover at a girl's house. Forget that. No thank you.

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  • If you trust that your girlfriend won't go around sleeping with another guy, sure.
    but it's okay to be a little protective of your girlfriend, everyone is scared to lose someone dear to them.
    If the girl really understand how you feel on the other side, she won't do the things that will make you insecure.
    Try talking to her about this topic, just act casual, it'll be fine.

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What Guys Said 8

  • WTF? NO it isn't ok! You ARE being controlling-you are controlling this other guy's dick from entering your girlfriend!

    Anyway, the friends that are saying it is ok are a bunch of idiots! This is crossing the line! It is ok for them because they are single and view this situation differently. Nothing wrong with spending time with a male friend, (still don't like it), but sleeping over is where I draw the line! I would put my foot down. If she refuses then she is picking her friend over her you. This means he means more to her than you do and therefore she is a piece of shit just wasting your time.

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  • Only you and she know where your relationship boundaries are, but generally speaking, if she really cared that much about your relationship she wouldn't put you in a situation where you have no good options:

    (1) You let her cheat. And she is going to cheat, whether this time (probably) or in the future, now that the precedent that it's okay to "sleepover" at other guys' places without you has been established.

    (2) You tell her "absolutely not" and play the jealous, controlling asshole boyfriend, which in the modern relationship environment is considered by some to be domestic abuse.

    (3) You dump her, meaning you're out any benefits from the relationship, and you get the reputation of (2) heaped on you as well.

    My personal experience is that staying in a relationship with a girl who doesn't respect relationship boundaries and plays stupid jealousy games with you can have serious consequences for your self-esteem and perception of women, but there's also no guarantee you will ever find a girl who will respect those boundaries.

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    • So basically either way it will be flipped on me, if she cheats then I wasn't doing enough and was a jerk, if i tell her something I'm a controlling jerk, and if I dump her, I'll be an a-hole/jealous jerk and she'll end up with the real a-hole or jerk while me the nice guy who's just worried will be labelled the bad guy and jealous boyfriend.

    • Realistically unless you've been together for many years the whole "not doing enough to make her happy" guilt trip that gets placed on husbands is not really relevant. I very much doubt her friends or any of the other people in your social circle are going to say it's your fault when she cheats on you.

      Even so, it hurts and it's embarrassing, and her lack of respect does send a message that unfortunately reflects on you. It's not fun walking around being the guy everyone knows was cheated on by his girlfriend, even if the fault is entirely hers.

  • your reaction is not controlling. you have a right to your feeling that way.

    I did the same to my girlfriend early on and it hurt her and I learned not to do that. It was a friend and nothing going on... I played iwth the kids I bonded with, but it isn't ok.

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  • Haha, no, what the fuck is this shit?

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  • I wouldn't be comfortable with it. If I can't do it neither can they, I deleted all the others girls numbers I had and she dumped me in the end anyway it was a waste of time

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  • No it's not OK... I wouldn't like that at all

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    • Your should warn her that if she goes then you are gonna stop dating her

  • No way Jose !

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  • no never

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