Should I take what I can get even if there's no attraction?

I'm concerned a great deal over my attractiveness or lack thereof. Based on answers I got from my "How do I look" question and personal experience, I can say I'm a 4. Now I know the matching hypothesis says that I will find someone attractive if they're also a 4 or up, and that seems to be the case because looking around my campus on a daily basis, I legitimately find a majority of girls my age attractive in some way. The problem is that it doesn't seem to work the other way around. No girl has been interested in me irl and on dating sites the only responses I get are from the minority of girls I do not find attractive. I don't get it, if the matching hypothesis is valid then there should be girls in the same league as me that would find me attractive. I know people fall in love with personality, but to fall for them don't I need to find something about them that I find physically attractive? My female friend says I should just message everyone above a 2 and below a 5 and try to get dates even if I'm not attracted to them just to build confidence. Is she right? Should I just get rid of my standards completely and take what I can get?

Maybe I didn't express what I meant clearly enough. When I'm talking about attractiveness, I don't just mean looks. I think that personality is more important but need physical appearance in the short term to get to that point, I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone I'm not actually attracted to I think what my friend means is I should go out on as many dates as possible regardless of interest and just hope I get lucky and find someone I like despite not being physically attracted to them


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think that is right. I consider it pretty cruel to get dates with other people and show them interest while you don't give a shit about them. I mean, how would it make you feel if a girl was using you in order to build her confidence? Isn't that unfair?

    • That's what I thought, but my friend keeps saying it's the only way to get over my anxiety with dating

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd suggest u to do the exact opposite. When I was shy and inexperienced, instead of asking out girls I wasn't attracted to, I tried to date girls who were "out of my league". I had to work up my courage to ask them out and face the fear of rejection. That's how I got better and built my confidence... in a harsh way.


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What Girls Said 1

  • U make us sound like ice cream flavours.
    "Oh, she will do."
    Wtf dude...


What Guys Said 1

  • Shea right. Dating and talking to people takes practice. It's a skill.