Why am I considered the girl no guy wants to date now?

I understand that desire is a perfectly natural part of human nature, but I can't understand why I wouldn't be wanted now as a girlfriend instead of just a sex partner. I've heard I'm very intelligent and very intimidating and the kind of girl that does not need to be taken care of. But that does not mean I don't have feelings like the rest of my friends. So why would I be marriage material but not dating material?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are making a lot of assumptions here girly. And yes, the problem is with you.

    If you are going around paying for dates, or brandishing how much money you make around men., of course they are going to run.

    Its like you are wearing a shirt that says "i have money! I don't need a man to take care of me!"

    You know, just as much as I do that women like to be taken care of. Deep down there is that desire for the woman to be taken care of and the man to take care of the woman.

    You may not "need" it but you want it and men want to give it to you. When you act like you don't need it you are coming off as a bitch and probably uninterested.

    Ill give you a peice of knowledge that most people don't know. The number one reason why relationships don't work?

    Its because of incompatible personal direction. The only relationships that last are the ones that are interdependent. The media, and self help books all say that you shouldnt need a man and that you should be -independant-. And the men are supposed to be independant too.

    So both of you are in a relationship with your backs turned away yelling "i don't need you!"

    It doesn't work.

    Which means both people need to be interdependent. Stubborn and independent behavior is the polar extreme of dependence, which is also not good.

    Too many people focus too much on not being dependent that they become assholes.

    Stop it.

    Relationships work if both people are willing to admit that they are not perfect and willing to depend on one another without being clingy.

    Let guys take care of you. Let them woo you as if you need them. You will feel better and they will too.

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    • Well that was honest. And I don't have money! My parents do lol I still live with them and they still pay my bills, I am full time student. What I mean is that at 5'8" with a fairly athletic form I'm not delicate enough for guys to want to care of me if that makes any sense. Honest if I can look a guy in the face he's more likely to run to the door because I've scared him off.

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    • Women can also be confident. Other than that...good points.

    • Men like women to be open and honest with somekind of direction and have their own opinions. This is not confidence. Confidence is something else entirely. Men who tend to be more feminine and less dominant are going to like confident women. But this is not what a man is and not what "men" or the majority of the male population is attracted to. Much like you have a butch and a lipstick lesbian. The litpstick tends to be submissive and the butch wears overalls and is confident.

What Guys Said 5

  • who says your not marriage material? they don't think for every guy out there trust me. You are marriage material to me. I love an independant girl.

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  • Uh, I don't know those sound like fairly desirable traits.

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  • Everyone around our age are just concerned about having sex infortunately.

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  • Perhaps you are to intelligent to date. You have standards to, you will not date every guy who is interested in you. You will find someone, its a statistical thing, few billion people on the planet, its bound to happen.

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  • Sorry, I want to discard my women after sex not wake up to them.

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What Girls Said 1

  • From what I saw on your profile and pictures is that you have your life together which means you are on the right track for having a stable life style. Some guys are intimidated by this because they still think that they should be the ones on top of everything (job, skills, natural husband material). However, guys your age still have raging hormones to deal with which makes them less likely to go after a smart person and more likely to date a person who has a lower self esteem. From experience, easier to lure to bed a person who has trouble saying the word NO.

    If you truly want to date someone that is not looking for just sex then find a guy who has the same goals as you do and is also on the right track to achieving them. Which means lose the High School guy and find yourself a college man that is above Sophomore.

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