I understand that desire is a perfectly natural part of human nature, but I can't understand why I wouldn't be wanted now as a girlfriend instead of just a sex partner. I've heard I'm very intelligent and very intimidating and the kind of girl that does not need to be taken care of. But that does not mean I don't have feelings like the rest of my friends. So why would I be marriage material but not dating material?
Most Helpful Guy
You are making a lot of assumptions here girly. And yes, the problem is with you.
If you are going around paying for dates, or brandishing how much money you make around men., of course they are going to run.
Its like you are wearing a shirt that says "i have money! I don't need a man to take care of me!"
You know, just as much as I do that women like to be taken care of. Deep down there is that desire for the woman to be taken care of and the man to take care of the woman.
You may not "need" it but you want it and men want to give it to you. When you act like you don't need it you are coming off as a bitch and probably uninterested.
Ill give you a peice of knowledge that most people don't know. The number one reason why relationships don't work?
Its because of incompatible personal direction. The only relationships that last are the ones that are interdependent. The media, and self help books all say that you shouldnt need a man and that you should be -independant-. And the men are supposed to be independant too.
So both of you are in a relationship with your backs turned away yelling "i don't need you!"
It doesn't work.
Which means both people need to be interdependent. Stubborn and independent behavior is the polar extreme of dependence, which is also not good.
Too many people focus too much on not being dependent that they become assholes.
Relationships work if both people are willing to admit that they are not perfect and willing to depend on one another without being clingy.
Let guys take care of you. Let them woo you as if you need them. You will feel better and they will too.
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