My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over nine months now - he is Japanese American (his parents moved to America and had their children here) and I am African American; we are both in our early twenties. His parents have known that he has a girlfriend, but they have never met me until two weeks ago when his mother suggested for him to bring me over to their house so that we can all have dinner together and get to know each other better, which made me very happy that she was interested in getting to know me. When we pulled up to his parents house they were standing on the front step with welcoming smiles on their faces, but as soon as I stepped out of the car the smile disappeared from his mother's face. I went up to greet her, but her only reaction was looking from me to her son in disbelief. After we all came into the house and I met his younger brother, my boyfriend suggested that I help his mother finish with dinner, but she quickly, but politely requested that I didn't. Which didn't phase me, but as we were all eating she kept looking me over, mostly my hair and face; that made me feel a little uncomfortable. I didn't say anything to my boyfriend about it until he was driving me back to my place, but he told me not to worry about it. Do you think that she might not like me because of how I look? I keep telling myself that it's all in my head, but the way that she reacted makes me a little suspicious and worried at the same time.
Most Helpful Guy
African Americans are not viewed well by Japanese people. I lived in Japan for more than 5 years and they tend to not have a favorable view of black folks from what I saw and it's rampant through out Asian cultures. Although this is the West so she'll just have to get used to the idea that if you love her son you are here to stay and she'll just have to get over it. Stay your course, and keep your composure, just know she was raised in a racist environment, most likely. There are others there that do accept others but it's more so the younger ones. Whites are tolerate more so than other races but are still viewed with suspicion.3
Most Helpful Girl
I'm an Asian. I could understand his family's perspective. Yes, most of the Asians are educated not to be dating with some specific races as we often label them. This usually happen in older generation, meaning his parents, also my parents. It's not like racist in my point of view, but it's like a culture, people don't like this culture would consider its racist and I respect that. People who don't care just don't care. You cannot change their attitude towards them, or it just take takes and a lot of efforts. I'm glad that your boyfriend could stand by you and tell you not to worry. So just don't worry that much.. You cannot change the fact that you are African American, and you cannot just unlove him. The only thing you can change is your own feeling toward how his parents view on you. Relax... Trust your boyfriend and everything will be good.. :) good luck :)1