Is the bro attitude a turn off?

I was talking to some of my girl friends and they all pointed out that I should reduce this bro chill attitude that I usually have with guys or else I ll send the wrong message.
But... that s sort off who I am xD I ve never really been a girly girl but more a sporty one.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends. If they bro you back or not. I have noticed that attitude here (and apparently I wasn't the only one), and it can be bad, when you call them things that are diminishing (such as peeps). It's nice to hear like once, but when you keep repeating it to someone who already has confidence issues (who doesn't?), it can be harmful, in the way that they might think you are acting superior to them.
    It's good to be super cool, and have super laid back attitude, and to look like you're chilling all the time, and everything in the world is the most casual thing to you, but there is a limit where it starts to become annoying.

    Why is it annoying? Because nobody can really be like that. No one is super cool, and laid back, and chilling all the time. It passes an image that it is true sometimes, but other times, it's like a mask where you hide the true you. A mask that makes you cooler and funnier.

    I may be wrong here, and you are truly like that, but your overthinking level to come here and ask some of the questions I've seen, makes me think otherwise.
    Am I heading in the right direction? (If not, I'll stop right here)

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    • why is peeps diminishing? and how is this me acting superior? o. O
      I never said I am always like that lol, it s just I tend to be usually tom boyish and chill more than not.
      you think I am an overthinker?

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    • That is true, you never said you were like that, and many people act different online (such as me) compared to real life. But since I only know you from here. All I see is the questions, the expressions, and the emojis and "lol"s.
      And that was the perception I got, not sure if I said you were like that, I just meant it as in "if you are like that, then this and that", it was just my thoughts, and you judge yourself if you fit or not.
      If you do, good for you, if not, good for you too. Everything has its perks.

      An overthinker? hmm... maybe. From some of your questions, I get the feeling that there is a layer under that tomboyish style that could be heard, and that life would be a bit different (have more meaning? dunno, (don't turn this around, I didn't say it didn't have a meaning!)) if you let that layer show more than the tomboy.

      Again, if you find this is true, good, if not, also good. I can only say what I perceive, and if I'm wrong.. oh well..

    • "lol" :p I always like your opinions although I don t always understand what you fully mean xD
      anw would you mind answering me that question too please :)
      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1992038-date-or-not-date

      like this is one of the reasons I asked this. cs maybe guys see me more as a buddy

Most Helpful Girl

  • Lol...

    If "the bro attitude" is YR ACTUAL PERSONALITY -- combined with a beautiful feminine exterior (which you do have) -- then, honestly, you are pretty much the *perfect* dream definition of "marriage material" for about 90 percent of guys. At least in the US and Canada, anyway. I mean, are you freaking kidding?

    If you hear the kind of advice yr talking about here, that applies to "bro attitudes" that are fake/forced.
    Like when girls PRETEND they're that way, in order to throw themselves out there in front of more men and "look cool". (This happens a lot, especially if a bunch of attractive single guys are getting together at, say, a sports bar. LOL... you'll see women who CLEARLY know nothing about sports, and who are CLEARLY girly-girls to the max, putting on this really bad act to try to pretend they're "one of the boys". It NEVER works, and it's honestly painful to watch.)

    I've seen enough of you on here to know that... you are pretty fucking cool. <3
    Therefore, you can ignore the warnings. Carry on.

    And, whoever the guy is who ends up with you? Lucky guy indeed. He better not ever forget it.

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    • aww thanks a lot <3
      I really appreciate it coming from you ^^

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    • hahaha awesome xD
      how old are your brothers lolol

    • hah the youngest was born in '76

What Guys Said 28

  • "Bro chill attitude". Sounds weird. But from all that I have seen you write about and the pictures you post, you seem to be having fun with people and I think that is great. None of it would deter me from finding you attractive and quite sexy. There is NO way that I could ever think of you as one of the guys. NOPE. ain't happening!

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    • okayy good good.
      cs that s what my friends and my mum tell me.
      they said I push guy away because of my attitude that I should act more soft and sweet etc..

    • Maybe some guys, but they must be easy to distract! As I said, I could never think of you as a bro. Would love you as a buddy, but you could never remove the femininity from that!

    • okii thanks :*

  • You mean slightly tomboyish? Well it can be a turnoff to some guys and a turn on to others.

    Me, I love a girl who can be a 'bro', who can be completely laid back, not take offense to anything and trash talk right back at me (sports girls are good at this lol). Other guys will prefer one that just giggles off everything they say, acts all submissive and sweet princess-like.

    So it depends what guys you want to attract. Chances are that being a "bro" will mean only those who are good at reading women can see right through it that you're attracted to them - or who are confident enough to chase you regardless. Being a girly girl will probably open you up to more men (including those above) and certainly those that need women to be blindingly obvious for them to read.

    I will say however that you cannot fake who you really are, you can do it at the beginning but your true personality always comes through.

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  • Bro chill? you mean acting like one of the guys? I think as long as you portray your feelings well and if you like a guy actually flirt with him and let him know how you feel you should be fine.

    I personally have no problem with the I guess bro chill attitude my first girl was like that. And honestly if you act out of your element it can make things a bit weird, so just be you.

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  • The problem is "bro" makes a lot of men feel they have been friend zoned.

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  • I knew it would be you asking this and no it's not

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  • it depends on the situation, but I feel like any guy is still going to look at you as a potential girlfriend option no matter how "bro-ish" you act around them. if your with someone who your trying to send the message to that your not just trying to be fiends with then maybe be a little extra flirty with them or break the touch barrier and even go in for a kiss or something. I promise you they will not mind.

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    • Okii thanks ✌

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    • lol I have the same problem, I call girls dudes when I'm texting them too sometimes when I'm not thinking about it

    • our flirting skills are on point xD

  • It's a good thing.

    I would take what they said as 'don't be cool, be a cunt', like what do they even mean by 'the wrong message'? Basically, it's ridiculous.

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    • lol no that s not what they meant at all.
      they meant be softer more feminine more girly girl etc...

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    • friend zone

    • Still don't see how I would get a 'friendzoned' feel. Being more 'girly girl' seems to only try to avoid this by giving a 'we don't get along/we're not friends' feel which is naturally worse. I don't know about you but I want to be friends with people I like, I want to feel like we relate, like we're close.

      I can't really think of a behavior exclsuive to 'bro chill' or 'girly girl' that gets these kinds of outcomes.

  • The guy's are right
    Bro attitude can be seen as well yeah BROSSSS, and not looking for a relationship xD or something I don't know

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  • if your my friend I will like it. I like fun upbeat girls

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  • Well it might make most guys feel like you friend zoned them so they won't see you as a possible date. so maybe a little in that regard?

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  • Some guys don't care. The problem is, when you call a guy "bro" and he gets offended, usually it's because he has feelings for you and by calling him bro it makes him think that you only look at him as a friend (in other words friendzoned). Any chances of having that girl as a girlfriend is basically shot down. If the guy only looks at you as a friend and doesn't feel that type of way around you he most likely won't care if you call him bro.

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  • I don't even know what that means.

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    • lol meaning I am sort off tom boyish

    • Hah, it does send the wrong message, but flirting is fun so I'd say by all means continue.

  • Nah we all love you for you! Dont change yourself for nobody

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  • nope

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  • bruah!

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  • Well it's not a turn off , and will you ever stop lookin sexy and classy? 😛

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  • You seem pretty amazing to me why change

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  • i dont think its a turn off. i like girls with attitude like you, girls like you are soo much fun

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  • Nope, don't change that attitude !

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  • You seem smart enough to realize it's not what They want, but it's what you want to do :)

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  • if it feels right just do it bro!

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  • Do your own thing sweetheart... don't let anyone tell you what to do...

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  • Yes.

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  • Nope, at least for me bro.

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  • wouldn't bother me at all. You do you. You sounds pretty darn good.

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  • Yeah, but you still can show signs instead. Just learn to obviously hint at it

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  • Nope, but I would probably think that she has already friendzoned me.

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  • yeah you need to become more feminine, my baby

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What Girls Said 4

  • ur very likable so don't change urself for guys, as long as u let the guy u like know u like him

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    • Alright :)

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    • Like do things a little different than normal. like laugh at his jokes even if they are not that funny. ask him questions about himself and try to be physically close to him when you talk.

    • @Toad-1 ow okay
      I do that, yea sure

  • Maybe they feel like you're going to steal all the dudes away? :D

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  • Don't change who you are. There will always be a guy out there who loves you for who you are.

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  • I only use the bro attitude on my brothers only

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