My friend with benefits insulted me after sex. Why?

[Anonymous]

I was dumb enough to have a friend with benefits and then develop feelings for him. I told him that i want to be more serious but he always avoid the topic. He gets jealous when i am around other guys but still doesn't want to be serious with me.

Yesterday after sex, i told him that if he doesn't want to commit with me, I will dump him and look for someone that does! and he told me that "no guy will want me for more than sex"

That was awful but he still call me and text me.

[BeeNee]

You knew what you were getting into, and you can't expect to change the situation. You are trying to change it to something more and he's trying to keep things the way they were, but the only way that can happen is of course if you stay and keep being a friends with benefits. In my mind, clearly this isn't the guy from you, friends with benefits, or not, because regardless of the situation, YOU should not allow a guy to put you down for no reason, and telling him you have feelings for him, is not a reason for him to react and say what he said. You're better than this and since you want and deserve more, move on quickly, even if its just another friends with benefits, find one that is at least decent enough to treat you like you are a real person with feelings.

[Paris13]

He is just being a Meanie now to get your own Goat, and to fix his Tail... Cut him off for awhile and let him Wail.
He is trying to Get you where it Hurts, In your own Heart. He is never going to change, He will always be in it for the Fun, and Knows that with being Territorial, Which he is, You will probably not find another Someone.
I am not seeing this Relationship of No Benefits to You, Going anywhere Except down the Tube with Jiffy Lube.
It's your Choice how you want your own Life of Strife to go. You know what You are looking for and so does He.
Good luck. xx

[Paris13]

Thank you for the Vote of Confidence. xxoo

[EllieLexis513]

Um... why are you still entertaining this guy? That's not friends with benefits, that's just giving up sex to a jerk. I mean, it ending or not ending is up to you but good gravy, I've had friends who slept with their friend with benefits and they weren't assholes. Who says that someone?

[lightbulb27]

that is his way of controlling you and it is sick and childish. He gave you his answer didn't he and you should stick to yours. Block him and move on. He isn't worth your time... be thankful you are getting away from him and fine someone who deserves you.
Take time to heal from this, talk to a counselor to help you establish some healthy parameters around relationships and undo the lie he told you, get yourself feeling emotionally healthy. then go out to look for someone. It is worth a little bit of your time to re-boost your self esteem and you hvae plenty of time left to do so.

[Yesman69]

Lol. Well, clearly he wants you just for sex. You probably made it too easy for him and now with the threat of losing easy pussy, he has resorted to demeaning your self esteem so you believe him and continue to give him that ass. He really just wants sex and avoids the topic to avoid hurting you and losing sure pussy.

[HandsomeRaj]

1. First things first the whole idea of friends with benefits is not to have feelings apart from being friends and having sex - you break that rule the whole thing goes for a toss
2. It tantamounts breaking the trust of the other person
3. You sure hurt his ego with your statement and he retaliated instinctively aka securing his hurt ego
4. You made a mistake and he made one - either both of you live with it or dump it :)

[Tdieseler]

can you please explain this to @EllieLexis513 in this question...:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1990881-should-how-do-i-bring-up-the-relationship-talk
because she came at me hard, but didn't get it. you don't try to push it further. I tried, (i don't know why, girls NEVER listen) but maybe you might have a different delivery system.

[HandsomeRaj]

@Tdieseler ah I did opine there :) as of coming down hard on you, it's about choice of words and how they are strung - thus the result :)

[Tdieseler]

i will go check it out.

[EllieLexis513]

Lol, I see someone is in their feelings.

[HandsomeRaj]

@EllieLexis513 everyone has a right to their opinion young lady :) <3 however, if the communication pattern and words used are on the same plane it helps better :)

[EllieLexis513]

Don't believe I ever said no one had a right to their opinion, however, when you ask someone to explain something to just because my opinion differs from yours, that usually means the person is in their feelings.

I'm an English teacher. I know how language and words work. However, if you can't take that someone has a different opinion, then the clear thing to do is not communicate with that person anymore, which I'm not.

[HandsomeRaj]

@EllieLexis513 thank you, young lady for reverting :)

Wow you're an English teacher? My fav subject <3 <3 <3

1. First paragraph, I agree 100% with you :) and nothing wrong with that either :) it's only human and normal
2. It's not about your knowledge of language young lady, it's about intent and perception. The languages at both end may be good but however, intent may not necessarily be perceived on the same plane :)
2.1. Like for example both our languages here are good and fine but however, my intent was describing what I've written above while you perceived it as you have written now :) - it's about psychology, not the language in this case :)

[EllieLexis513]

Intent and perception have everything to do with language. How else are you able to convey your thoughts and ideas if you ignore those two things? You can't. I understood your intent completely. It's not psychology, it's diction, which, again, is language. Connotation vs. denotation. That's not psychology...

[HandsomeRaj]

@EllieLexis513 thank you for the insight. I rest my case, not debating :)

[MadeInAmerica]

Not his fault you changed the deal. A friends with benefits is all about fucking without emotion and you failed. Being jealous around other guys isn't a sign he likes you more than a booty call it means he doesn't want other guys trying to take his pussy away. What he said was mean and uncalled for and of course he is still going to call and text you because you are his sex toy. He cares about his dick and your pussy not your feelings.

[GnarCute]

did you expect more from a friend with benefits? you are literally his booty call. He doesn't need a relationship with you he just needs sex if he wanted a relationship he wouldn't be a friend with benefits.

[bombamboum]

You changed the rules. Friends with benefits is rarely meant to turn into something more.
Most people react harshly when they face an ultimatum. You gave him one, he reacted harshly with saying this.

[kittykatbrat]

*Reason 1=. U obviously DONT understand what "fwb" is.
*Reason 2=. U completely flipped the script
*Reason 3 = U threatened him

You deserved it!!!

[AleDeEurope]

Hmm it seems you need to start working on your personality if your looks are the only thing you have.

[Asker]

You are right, i am insecure and i feel less than other girls.

[AleDeEurope]

At least you acknowledge it, that makes it easier to fix the issues.

[Darkone1]

Well I will recommend not allowing him to get away with this easily. Pay the mafia to beat the hell out of him and then visit him in hospital and enjoy the scene.

[Jxpxtxr]

Wth just dump that asshole and see who would actually want him for more than sex tbh.
And find someone better than him to replace him it will most likely drive him MAD lol

[tenchu11]

Prove that fucker wrong! He is being emotionally abussive since he wants his cake and eat it too. If he puts you down he hopes you won't go looking for something serious with some one else

[Anonymous]

OMG what a douche bag. Maybe he feels as though because you wanted to leave him and made him feel unwanted so he made you feel unwanted. Guys are terrible people I swear hahah
He wants you all to himself.

[akadatank44]

That was awful to say to you and yeah not gonna lie friends with benefits is dumb. Someone gets feelings. Find a guy that will want you for more than sex. There are a lot out there

[bcromartie]

So you gave him an ultimatum and he insulted you. Let me understand this: You pressured him into a corner and he insulted you for it.

And this requires our help to figure out?

Well, let me see if I can do some research...

[anonymous83]

dump him. he's a scumbag, and you deserve better than that.

[Uselessguy]

I think he likes you too. But, he can't confuse himself due to your position. I mean he can't think serious with you.

[JC103]

Yeah.. This is where you have to make him your bitch. Is he on your social media?

[Asker]

yeah

[JC103]

Good. Are you going to hang out with him tonight? What are your plans for today?

[Asker]

I don't reply to his messages, I think he is sorry but i am too angry so i will not see him today.

[JC103]

Go out and put on something sexy like "I'm a bad bitch" sexy. Also bring a guy friend and take bunch of pictures and when he likes or comments your picture. Text him "are you willing to be my boyfriend?" Then post another picture of you and your friend being "extra friendly"

[JC103]

Either way you'll have fun and it'll really piss him off and make him jealous

[ivaneca]

What the fuck dude? @Asker, definitely don't listen to this psychopath. Of all people who have responded, there's definitely at least one or two you might want to listen to, just not this guy.

[JC103]

@ivaneca what's so wrong with what I said?

[idkwtftoputhere]

He probs didn't mean it lol just said it out of anger I guess?

[creamylover]

He might fear serious relationships.
Either he had a heartbreak from previous one..
Or
He want just friend with benefit relation so as to enjoy sex and keep his freedom also

[scooogy]

He fears you succeeding with something more serious because you might give up on that sexual relationship with him forever

[brewersfan01]

You kind of brought it onto yourself by having a fuck buddy. and its a innocent insult brought on by emotions. chin up.

[TonyRyanAgain]

You broke the rules for one and two, that was pretty rude of him to say.