Is it time to move on?

So my boyfriend & I have been together for over 5 years. We started dating our freshman year of high school & have an apartment together today. We've grown together & he is my best friend. We are each other's firsts. I will always love him, but I'm not sure if we're still holding on because we're afraid to let go.

We've lived together for 2 years now. The first year was great! Yes, we had our normal fights & hiccups, but we could always get through it. Lately, things have been rough & much harder to get through. Our sex life has diminished. I swear, I could literally get naked & hop on top of him & he wouldn't take a hint. I can't remember the last time he complimented me or called me beautiful. I know sex & compliments are not priorities in a relationship, but it used to be different... I'm starting to get the idea that he's not attracted to me anymore. Yes, we have talked about this. I've approached him calmly, cried to him, screamed at him... You name it, we've had this discussion too many times to count. His argument is either that "he works too hard & gets tired" or that "he's stressed out about money." These are completely understandable, but we're really not doing that bad. I'm holding up my end of things, workings 2 jobs to take some weight off his shoulders. Yes things are tight, as were college students, but we have a roof over our heads, food in the fridge, clothes on our backs, & still have social lives. We're really not struggling...

I want to be with him, I thought he was the man I'd marry. But I cannot live like this forever. So I find myself asking the same questions... Are we fading apart? Is he not attracted to me anymore? Are we just holding on to each other because it's all we've ever known?

I just really need to know if it's time for me to move on or if I should stick it through?


What Guys Said 2

  • I didn't even need to read your 4 paragraphs. If you are asking that question, and not married, it's time to move on.

  • It's time to find someone else go out and start having a good time


What Girls Said 1

  • I went through something very similar a couple years ago. We had known each other from age 12 and dated 8 years. It felt like the next step was marriage or break up. I found that we had become very codependent (the disadvantage of growing up together). I didn't know who I was with out him, I didn't feel that I had much value alone. So I depended on his thoughts and feelings.
    At some point we took different paths and started to grow apart. I still loved him, but I didn't feel like I was "in love" with him. His father's heart attack came a convenient time and he moved back home. It was a heart wrenching feeling to "give up" on all we had, but I knew that we BOTH deserved better. A year later we started talking again and I'm happy to say that we have found our way back to friends.

    I'm sure your story isn't exactly the same as mine, but the importaint part is to know what you want. Can you imagine your life with him in 5-10 years. What would have to change for there to be a future? Are you willing to make those changes? Is he?