When you aren't interested in a person anymore do you tell them straight up or continue to lead them on?

  • Yea, Ain't nobody got time for that!When you aren't interested in a person anymore do you tell them straight up or continue to lead them on?
    87% (34)72% (13)82% (47)Vote
  • Caesar said "NOOO"When you aren't interested in a person anymore do you tell them straight up or continue to lead them on?
    13% (5)28% (5)18% (10)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Saw an interview last night on YouTube people... about something similar and I just want to see what you guy's would say.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you are not interested in them anymore, then it's best to just be honest with the person and let them go.

    You have to think of someone's life as being made up of invaluable minutes, the more you take away from a person being selfish, or just plain ignorant, is time they could be spending with someone that could really care!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The correct, mature and straightforward thing to do would be to tell them it's not working for you and to let them go. However, some people are so manipulative and drag a break up on as long as possible making it as messy and painful as possible. So you slowly make the relationship not worth it for them until they get fed up with you and think it's their idea to break it off and you agree with it. I know that's awful but that's what you do when that other person isn't going to let you go like a sane person would.

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    • They can't drag it on against your wil. Making it uncomfortable is dragging it in and creating a lot of really toxic memories. Just say you're moving in and move on. Nothing to drag out.

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    • Hmm no I've had guys try to be persistent but it's always been enough for me to just state very clearly and firmly that I am not interested in dating. Most people respond well to that. What happened with the guy did he stalk you or something? I'm asking bc I'm curious not because I don't believe you:) hard to know how things "sound" when written :-)

    • @Azara Yes, I have been stalked after breaking up. It's easy to say no to dating and be done with it but breaking up with someone who has genuine issues and has formed an obsession is not. I wish someone had given me this advice so I'm giving it to G@g to save you guys my pain.

What Guys Said 15

  • I don't gas light or blow smoke up some ones backside and lead them on. If I like you as I tend to like most people, I will tell you and make my intentions known platonic or romantic. When I'm displeased with a person I'm not displeased with "them" meaning who they are as a person at their core. To clarify I am always disappointed or displeased with their actions and behavior, something that they and only they have the power to control, they choose actively to act in a manner fitting to how they feel in the moment or how their emotions have evolved with a past event or conditioning, either negative or positive. If someone speaks of their values and upon speaking of said values, it matches mine closely enough I may pursue them for romance, however if someone says I have these values, but acts in a manner that contradicts those values I tend to take notice of this and let them know they are out of integrity. I believe them when they say they have those values, yet when they act differently, I let them know I'm disappointed as are not acting congruent to who they are as a person, somewhere there is a pattern of behavior that is a faulty match, they weren't always angry, cynical, sad, depressed, broken hearted, etc. something had to happen, they in fact don't feel like themselves so they don't act like themselves and all I ever ask is for them to not lead me on with false information sparing my feelings or theirs, but to get to the heart of the matter and get it solved so we can both move on, either together or a part. It serves no one in a positive way long term to not be open and honest in our communication.

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    • Wow! Thank you, you described how I see people perfectly and for some train I could not articulate why someone doing a bad thing did not automatically rise to my eradicating them from my life, as many people are inclined to do. It's great reading this I'm glad I stopped by:-)

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    • I've added you if you don't mind. I'd like to ask you something privately if you get a chance , Thanks:)

    • @Azara I added you back. Just hit me up anytime. I reply to all. :)

  • Why should I have to tell her? I let my actions do the talking.

    Saying "I am not interested in you" puts you at a terrible position. What if she never knew I was interested in her? Or what if she knew, but didn't care because she's not interested in me. Either way she would just be like "okay man, cool" and I would be left looking like an obsessive SOB who doesn't have better things to do but to overanalyse.

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    • That's not fair though... let your action's do the talking? why tell her? Because you should be mature about. Some people don't take a hint regardless of how you put it and others like hearing it straight from the horse's mouth that's why. Being honest and upfront might get you... loathed or whatever, but it's tough love man and the honest route.

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    • by different people***

    • @kat_gran my point exactly lol

  • I just be honest with em and tell them in a respectful manner.

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  • If the person is "okay" overall I wouldn't "fuel" the bond I had with him or her anymore, letting it die out. But if the person would stay in touch without exaggerating I would never ignore them.
    The only exception is if they person is so annoying I really want to get out. Than I'd find a diplomatic way of saying I was not interested :o

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  • In this day and age, when you aren't interested in a person anymore, you ignore them. No need to lead anyone on or talk to them in the first place

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  • I push them to the ground and laugh 1.bp.blogspot.com/.../BA%3BEvil_Laughter_REMIX.gif

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  • I'd just tell them how I feel. I'm not gonna lead someone on and play with their emotions like that. I've had it happen to me and it wasn't fun.

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  • I try to break it to them gently... Not to hurt or torment anyone...

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  • I try to tell her nicely, I hate having to do it.

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  • Be honest, I'm not good at playing games

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  • Your poll answers are terrible, this is not a "yes or no" question, so it makes no sense.

    Anyway, I am really bad at this, I am still pushing on a relationship with a girl because she cried really hard when I told her I was reconsidering my feelings for her, so I will stay with her and maybe even marry her. I am incredibly weak to tears.

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    • I guess u have dyslexia cause or you're just not that bright... the poll is a simple yes or no if u do or do not. Make me understand how it is terrible? Other than U (one irrelevent mf) disliking it... Better yet if u felt some type of way you could have always ignored it and carried on... but I see that didn't happen soon yeahhh your comment was noted☺have a blessed day.

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    • Lmao 😂😂😂😂😂

    • Whatever helps u sleep at night cupcake😘 toodles!

  • I would pull myself from their life i dont like to lead people on even thiugh i tried to be selfish

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  • Funny how this seems to work the opposite from my experience. Generally if a girl quits texting/texts less and gives short responses or doesn't respond that's usually a hint that they're not interested.

    But if I stop texting a girl, put little effort in, they seek me out.

    Having said that, I'd rather know where I stand with a person then be strung along and then make it seem like I'm the bad guy or obsessive and then over analyze about what went wrong.

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  • I don't lead people on. Ask and you shall be told straight up. But unless we're a couple or got some type of substanstial history I don't bother with laying things out bluntly for people. At a certain point people have to start caring for themselves. I'd rather a girl look at a relationship and say this isn't good for me I need to take charge and find something better than for me to walk up to her and explain that she needs to move on. One ends in a girl being an active participant in how her life progresses the other ends with a girl crying because nothing ever works out for her. I don't disrespect anyone but I'm not holding any hands. If I were to lay out exactly why I don't want to date a girl all that's really doing is giving her a set of goals to work on so that she could eventually try and get back together with me which is not what I want. I don't want someone changing themselves for me. So what's the point in informing someone about all the reasons I'm no longer interested in them. Unless it's something they absolutely need to know I don't think I need to burden them with my opinions.

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    • Welllll damn ! Bravo👍👏👏

    • Saying you're not interested is not laying it all out. And it lets people know to move on. I think it's just hard to say that so you're rationalizing why it's best fit " her" that you don't say anything. People are always so concerned with other people when it makes it easier for themselves lol

    • The same could be said about you rationalizing for the opposite. It's an opinion this is mine. We don't agree. it happens.

  • Tell them the truth

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What Girls Said 15

  • I had a male friend who I started being friends with after a few years of non talking (just lost track). And I started to get the impression he liked me, and I mean I never think anyone likes me so to think this I genuinely believed it. And I had no feelings for him but I started to think maybe I did lead him on, or maybe he thought I liked him etc.
    So I didn't want to outright say "I'm not interested" and ruin a friendship or be wrong and be awkward, but I didn't want to say nothing. So I dropped hints like "I'm not ready for anything, and besides, I have feelings for nobody like that anyway" and I'd say things like that casually in conversation (there were others, e. g. he does drugs and I am not into that lifestyle so I'd say "I'd never date someone like that"). That's out of context but he respected my choices like I left him to his.

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  • I don't always tell them straight up but I drop hints, like texting less frequently, giving short answers, acting uninterested etc. Sometimes they get it, sometimes they don't. If they don't then I tell them the truth. As nicely as possible. I know it's not the best way to handle a situation like that but I hate rejecting people. I feel so mean doing it. On the flip side, I hate it when guys start ignoring me without any explanation. Usually it's my own fault but oh well...

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  • I'm very blunt about it.

    People don't usually take it very well. lol

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  • If I'm not interested or have lost interest in someone. I'll ignore them and avoid them. If they are shit at reading body language and can't take the hint. I'll politely tell them. Although, I tend to use the first option when they lurk around but have no longer intentions of ever initiating a conversation. Im a fair woman, I treat people exactly how they treat me. I won't make anymore effort with them if they don't with me.

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    • No longer? Lol. Predictive texting. Forgot to add, many people think ignoring them is leading them on or you are playing hard to get. Ignoring and avoiding are signs of disinterest or maybe being pissed off about something. That's the way I work anyway. Im pretty straight forward. Maybe this is what someone already in a relationship would do out of remorse, for leading people on when they know that they shouldn't have.

  • I usually tell them straight up unless they are a close friend and that might ruin our friendship - I might be hesitant in that case - but luckily that never happened before :P

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  • Take a hint!

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    • You or them?

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    • Noooo lol this has nothing to do with me lol its just I was watching this interview on YouTube and wanted to see what people would say lol

    • Ohh lol okay jaja

  • I straight up tell them I don't think things are working out and be like it's not him it's me etc...

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  • I don't like being mean so I would just like... Cut down most contact with them and hope they bored of me.

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    • Sometimes I do that and I feel the same way... I dont want to be mean cause I feel bad if it's a genuine person. An a-hole on the other hand... I tell them upfront lol.

  • I would straight up tell them, since leading them on will not end well.

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  • Tell them straight up. Leading people on is mean and also a pain in the ass.

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  • Yeah I'm not into leading people on.

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  • I tell them straight up. You know, I like to take that weight off my shoulders.

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  • You should tell them, i hate people stringing people along

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    • 👏👏 I'd rather break a heart or get mine broken so I can move on.

  • I try not to hurt them as I push them away from me

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    • Lol... I feel I'm about to receive this answer a lot!

    • Pushing people away is hurtful especially Pride bc the person is being handled not dealt with upfront as an adult.

  • just go up to them and say your hot, i'm horny lets make this shit happen long term

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