Is it normal to be scared of commitment?

I'm 21 and I never had a boyfriend. I don't know why but the idea of having a serious relationship scares me. It feels so serious, so final. Like I'll lose my freedom. Also, I'm not the type of person who lets other people in easily so opening up to someone is a big deal to me. I'm scared that if I let a guy in and actually fall for him, I'll lose control. I'll be vulnerable and if he decides that he doesn't like what he sees once he gets to know the real me he'll just leave me. I've never experienced real heartbreak or even rejection and it scares the hell out of me. But then almost all my friends have boyfriends and they all seem so happy while I'm still single. I feel weird sometimes. It's not like I can't attract guys, quite the opposite actually, but I'm too scared to give anyone a chance. As soon as things start getting serious I push him away and distance myself. I always find an excuse, like he lives too far away, he's not my type, he's boring etc. Or the guy gets tired of me being passive and gives up. Is there something wrong with me or is it normal to feel this way?


Most Helpful Guy

  • No it's not unusual sometimes feel that way myself sometimes I just want to remain eligible in case something better comes along or just want to stay eligible and I don't want to get close to anybody either since break ups are so hard after what I have been through

    • Yeah, I feel the same way but it feels like I'm the only one. Girls usually want a relationship and here I am...

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    • Yeah your just scared of a break up and not feeling free while your in one but at the same time you would like to have someone to share special moments with

    • Yeah! Would be nice to have both but I guess I'll just have to compromise...

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes it's normal to feel that way. I kinda of like my freedom!

    • Me too! It feels like you have to give up your freedom when you have a boyfriend. It's kinda selfish to think that way but I can't help it...


What Guys Said 2

  • It's not normal at all... Your should deal with your fears!

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    • It sounds confusing but who said love is easy... Haha thanks :)

    • Yeaa it's not easy but your got to try

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