Why is it implied by guys and girls after a "friendzoning" That the guy has to change the way he is to impress other girls?

Example. you're too nice or what not. like a guy with a good upbringing and etc who treat people with respect and thus "nicely" is told time after time that he didn't get the girl cause he's too nice and the girl didn't see the man in you?

What the Fuck? this is the most puzzling thing i read on some of these questions and on reddit. then people say be yourself in the next 5 lines after that.

why would/should anyone change who they are to get a partner in life?

by the way i hate the term friend zoning (Hence the " ") but i feel like its the only way people would relate here


Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't take it that way honestly. I can see how it totally comes off that way, but if I were to reject a guy because he had something I wasn't looking for, I wouldn't go and tell him to change it, I would tell him to find a girl who DOES like that about him. So for me, if you're "too nice", you're "too nice" (this is dumb in the first place) FOR ME, but that's not me telling you, "okay go be mean and other girls will like you."


What Girls Said 1

  • Unless you're giving away your shirt or letting people walk ALL over you; there's no such thing as too nice for me.

    Treat me like a Queen and you'll have the happiest woman ever who treats you like her King.

    Act like I'm replaceable... & Well, you get the idea.


What Guys Said 2

  • I don't think you have to change. Just your personality in what they look for or preference didn't match. It happens. No need to change just move on to the next target.

  • Because doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.

    Jokes aside.
    Well, maybe the "you" isn't as attractive as you think it is?