I get scared whenever a guy likes me. Am I just afraid of being vulnerable and hurt?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No your afraid of the pain. I'm going through the same thing. I really like this one girl but if I make a move on her there are so many things that can go wrong and her freind does not like me at all. We all get scared when we are vulnerable but it is what we do when we are scared that define us.- right now I'm still panicking and worrying about how I'm going to act around her lol. Yet I still plan on hitting on her/flirting with her soon anyways.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm in the same bag as you... I still have crushes and guys I like, guys I've been seeing, etc. I am lucky to have great guys in my life, but I just don't open up to them. For example, last March, I really thought I had found the one. He was literally perfect! Absolutely everything I wanted was condensed into one guy. The only thing? I just wasn't into him. He was also a bit too excited about dating and he was indirectly pressuring me into getting official and having a label while I was not ready for it. I had told him, but he was still pressuring a bit too much. Because I am not ready to trust men again, I avoid dating or getting too close to someone. I'm afraid of being vulnerable. It'll sound cheesy but the only accurate way to describe it is that me and my heart are literally locked up. I got hurt last year by a guy I would have done anything for. It took me months to stop crying myself to sleep at night. And I'm barely getting over him. I understand you and yes, you are afraid of being vulnerable and let someone else have power on you. My advice is to give yourself some time to heal.

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What Guys Said 2

  • And your question is?

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    • Shit, my bad, I read it wrong.
      Yes, you're afraid of being vulnerable cause you're afraid of being hurt. I'm like you, thought I don't get scared when a girl likes me, but I don't like being vulnerable.

  • Yes, you have probably been hurt too many times before. :(

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What Girls Said 2

  • Vulnerability is so beautiful. I think the best thing to do here is to just get hurt. You can't grow as a person if you don't go through emotional turmoil. Getting hurt will allow you to identify your wants and needs, and you will not achieve a solid identity if you do not get hurt. If you abstain from these challenges you will never find someone who you can truly love, and someone who will truly love you.

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  • Yeah, it happens. But maybe it is because you have these... Thoughts (? Forgot the right word for this) that guys are pretty careless about love. What will happen if the guy turns out to be manipulative and more negative things. It can also be because you have a bad self-steem? you don't trust yourself to be strong if relationships take the worng turn.

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