I find dating stressful so will making a list of wanted qualities make it easier for me to find the right guy?

so untill now my dating life has only been a unecessarly source of stress with guys who werent for me, but because of my desperation would ignor red flags and big "faults".

Im so done with guys and dating, not forever, but untill the close to "perfect guy" comes along. When i say perfect i just mean a guy who I get along wit hand find sexually attractive. As a results of that i have made a list and if a guy does fit all or most of these qualities on the list i'll just "friendzone" him in a lack of a better word.

I just need to know if im being realistic or not, so this is my list:

- Has to be able to make me laugh, and doesn't take himself to seriously
- Honest and kind
- has to make me feel like im important
- Has to be into physical activity and healthy eating
- Has to either have an high education or in the process of getting one
- Taller than me
- should have is own place ( unless there is a really good and understandable reason for still living at home)
- doesn't smoke or use tobacco
- and of course has to be physically attractive

I have invested so much energy on guys who werent upto standard, so by following a list i'll make it easier for me because i won't be wasting any time on any guy that isn't really for me hence less stress for me.

The things on the list are based on things i myself posess, what i do have or dont have/do


Most Helpful Guy

  • Whenever I've felt like the girl I'm on a date with has been ticking boxes on a list, even though I know those boxes are gonna be getting ticked... I see her as shallow and stupid and a waste of my time. Of course if all she's after is a set of attributes rather than a person, it wouldn't be so bad to use my attributes to bang her... that's what a lot of girls get if they just go by a list, it's what they deserve too. lol

    • Cool dude

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    • yes i do, now that the context is given.

    • Thanks for mh!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Not necessarily. I think you should take a break from dating for a bit.

    • I have for about 2 months now and going strong. Just needed to check if im on the right track

What Guys Said 2

  • healthy eating and stuff like that is normal, but the height thing is really superficial in my opinion.

    • 90% of the people I meat aren't interested in it to the extent that I am. So it might be a given to you, but mostly people I know doesn't really care. And wanting someone you find physcially isn't shallow, its just Basic biology. Im Just 5'5 so finding a guy Who is my hight or taller shouldn't be that hard. It would be another story to expect the guy to be 5'10

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    • the fact that you care so much about hight that it needs to be on your list seems to me that you would want to date a tall guy for social status reasons. you aren't searching for a guy to date for love, you are searching a trophy to increase your own social status.

    • 5'5 isn't tall.. its actually short for a guy

  • when you go for pizza do you also have a list? The pizza's no good if it dosen't have the predetermanded requirement of the number of pepperoni slices? The sauce no good because it tasted different?

    Life just dosen't work that way. You are setting yourself up for disappointment.
    You will also be limiting yourself from things you don't imagine and life will become a predictable grey colour.


What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Do what makes you happy :D