I'm pretty intelligent and all through my life I've been told that but I recently met a guy who's muchhhhh more intelligent than me. He basically beats me in all the academic subjects we both have except for literature and art/photography. We're both the comp sci majors too at different unis and even his uni is much better ranked/more selective than mine. I really love his personality but every time I think about approaching him in turn off cause I'm worried I'm too dumb for him. I hate feeling this insecure and normally I woupsnt care about a small difference but this guy is much better at coding than I am too.
Also I reread my description and I have a lot of typos haha. I surprised no one pointed them out and accused me of being less intelligent than I claimed. Sorry bout the typos though cause I did this in a rush.
Most Helpful Guy
There's a lot into it, but generally I would say no.
While intelligence is a big factor into liking someone (since you want them to have a similar perspective as you have, similar tastes, ideologies, etc.) it doesn't determine what love is or is not. Normally, if you're extremely intelligent you wouldn't want to date the dumbest girl/boy in your university - but what if somehow, just somehow, they fulfill you and make your days happy? That's when their intelligence is truly irrelevant, since you're focusing in their personality now; which creates long lasting relationships. Moreover, people usually dislike to be surpassed in any way, and while sharing common ideas and thoughts with someone equally, having contrast and differences every now and lead can lead to an even healthier relationship.
Those are my thoughts; I tend to think a lot about it, since I consider myself intelligent (comp sci too, 3.9 gpa), and while I do want an intelligent partner, I don't really focus too much on it.4
Most Helpful Girl
Ok, so he's better than you at academic subjects... whatevs. That means absolutely nothing as far as whether he's actually more *intelligent* than you.
Is he actually more INTELLIGENT than you?
Does he apprehend the world with a sharper eye than you?
Is he a better problem solver than you?
Does he see things from more, and more diverse, angles than you do?
Is he better at reading people than you are?
Is he better at getting along with people, and with getting people on board with his goals, than you are?
Can he examine and change faulty assumptions faster than you can?
Can he look at what he's doing, objectively, and see what's working and what isn't, and change the things that aren't working, more efficiently than you can?
That's ACTUAL "intelligence".
Does he outshine you in THOSE things? If so, then you can legitimately say that he's "smarter" than you.
If not, then this is just bullshit book-smarts, and, THE MOMENT you leave that school campus, that will not matter at all anymore.
Not at all.1
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