I'm pretty intelligent and all through my life I've been told that but I recently met a guy who's muchhhhh more intelligent than me. He basically beats me in all the academic subjects we both have except for literature and art/photography. We're both the comp sci majors too at different unis and even his uni is much better ranked/more selective than mine. I really love his personality but every time I think about approaching him in turn off cause I'm worried I'm too dumb for him. I hate feeling this insecure and normally I woupsnt care about a small difference but this guy is much better at coding than I am too.
I would like to thank everyone who has taken the time to answer. THANKS EVERYONE! C: Also I reread my description and I have a lot of typos haha. I surprised no one pointed them out and accused me of being less intelligent than I claimed. Sorry bout the typos though cause I did this in a rush.
I feel a lot better about approaching him after all the answers from everyone here so thanks for the support and encouragement! I'll be asking him out soon!
There's a lot into it, but generally I would say no.
While intelligence is a big factor into liking someone (since you want them to have a similar perspective as you have, similar tastes, ideologies, etc.) it doesn't determine what love is or is not. Normally, if you're extremely intelligent you wouldn't want to date the dumbest girl/boy in your university - but what if somehow, just somehow, they fulfill you and make your days happy? That's when their intelligence is truly irrelevant, since you're focusing in their personality now; which creates long lasting relationships. Moreover, people usually dislike to be surpassed in any way, and while sharing common ideas and thoughts with someone equally, having contrast and differences every now and lead can lead to an even healthier relationship.
Those are my thoughts; I tend to think a lot about it, since I consider myself intelligent (comp sci too, 3.9 gpa), and while I do want an intelligent partner, I don't really focus too much on it.
Ok, so he's better than you at academic subjects... whatevs. That means absolutely nothing as far as whether he's actually more *intelligent* than you.
Is he actually more INTELLIGENT than you?
Does he apprehend the world with a sharper eye than you?
Is he a better problem solver than you?
Does he see things from more, and more diverse, angles than you do?
Is he better at reading people than you are?
Is he better at getting along with people, and with getting people on board with his goals, than you are?
Can he examine and change faulty assumptions faster than you can?
Can he look at what he's doing, objectively, and see what's working and what isn't, and change the things that aren't working, more efficiently than you can?
That's ACTUAL "intelligence".
Does he outshine you in THOSE things? If so, then you can legitimately say that he's "smarter" than you. If not, then this is just bullshit book-smarts, and, THE MOMENT you leave that school campus, that will not matter at all anymore. At all.
If I like her, and we relate, I don't care if she is 'brilliant' or a 'genius' but she has to be able to keep up, and understand my sense of humor. I prefer SMART, NERDY types with glasses, that don't know how AMAZINGLY HOT they are, just being really smart, and wearing glasses. When we can talk about serious things, rather than who won on Dancing with the Stars, or who's the biggest btch one some 'Housewives' show, that's just like foreplay!! Smart women are a lot more fun!! And you have something to share, in the future: Beauty fades and stupid is forever!! Smart women are the best!!
It's not something I *require*, but when I can find a smart girl, I definitely appreciate her mind. I've dated plenty of girls with average intelligence too, and that's no problem, but I struggle with the dumb ones. I struggle with dumb guys as well.
To answer your question: yes. It would be irrational to be involved with a female who would produce children who were less intelligent than myself. Also, I would want a partner. I would not want to feel as though I was dealing with the intellectually disabled, which is how it feels when I am forced to interact with the bulk of the population.
Your not dumb compared to him your just not as good in school as he is. You also have to factor in creativity. I suck at school but I can come up with great ideas and draw amazing images that most intelligent people would never even dream of.
This question is evidence of a total disconnect between the way men and women think. Men don't really care what you do for a living or what you know. They are going to be more attracted to how caring, attentive, and engaged you are with their emotions.
I like to think them in pretty intelligent, but as long as someone isn't just stupid that's fine with me. Someone who's around an intellectual equal, but with s fair amount of room both sides, and bearing in mind intelligence isn't just academic. I'd rather someone who feels intelligent in conversations than someone who does particularly well academically
Let me tell you a secret. Guys have no problem with "stupid girls". Guys have problem with bimbos and burned out girls. The ones who cannot hold a conversation, expect us to constantly shower them with topics and girls who cannot entertain themselves. So you being slightly lower on an academic scale that is highly unlikely anyways doesn't mean jack shit as long as you dont play dumb. you're more emotionally intelligent than he is anyway...
You have been told that because that is what feminism wanted you to believe, not because it is true. Men and women, generally don't have the same value system. Right now we have a lot more women going to college and getting careers because they assume men should want the same things they are attracted to. We also have lots of "nice guys" that have nothing to offer women other than being caring and attentive because those are the traits men are more likely to value. Of course there will be exceptions, but overall, men and women just aren't attracted to the same traits.
As far as intelligence goes, what really matters to most people is that you agree with the opinions and values they have. Otherwise even if you are smarter than them, they will still think you are stupid. The ability to memorize dates and facts, plays almost no role in attraction.
I think very intelligent guys are rational thinkers so they are looking for a partner that is a rational thinker not necessarily one that is more intelligent, less intelligent or equally intelligent.
If one is an irrational thinker than they will not want you. And if you are a rational think thinker than If they know more programming languages than you will have no bearing on their decision of whether you are a good relationship partner or not.
What I have noticed in life is that the more intelligent a guy is, the more rational he is and the more he appreciates that rational in others.
Knowledge. Knowledge is just stuff you learn (programming language). How to think rational - that is a true gift and one to be exploited.
If you are male, it is to be expected. If you are female and happen to be cute, all doors are open to you. The world is your oyster.
Academic accomplishments are only some of the ways to measure intelligence. Don't compare yourself to others and realize that if he's interested in you then it's probably for more reasons that your grades.
Well I think in the long run we all want someone who's on our level intellectually - just think about the conversations... But you can always try, guys are (supposedly) more visual than girls so if you're pretty you're definitely good for a while ;)